


Serenity Prayer

by katarinahime



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-03-19 12:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 61,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13704570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katarinahime/pseuds/katarinahime
Summary: "You're going to be Mrs. Namikaze. Are all your childhood dreams coming true?" He's joking, she know. But she still shakes her head no. This, obviously surprises him. "I wanted to be Mrs. Uzumaki." Because she must remind him, always, that she loved him when he was nothing. When he was nothing, he was still her everything. At this, he can only stare, blatantly amazed, and kiss her.Graphic lemons and graphic violence, mild substance abuse, slight angst.





	1. Chapter 1

"Is there anything you can do?" Hinata asked for the umpteenth time.

The airline desk worker didn't even spare her a glance. "I'm sorry ma'am. As I've said before, the next flight to Konoha is boarding in an hour and twenty minutes. You have been placed on the wait list along with everyone else. You may wait at gate A3."

The women's tone was clipped, brash. Rude. Hinata was exhausted. She had spent a grueling three days in Sunagakure for work that was disappointing in and of itself. But her flight had already been bumped and was in the middle of the night, that had led to a six-hour layover, leading to another flight change, further extending her lay over. The airport in Amegakure was small, outdated. There was nothing to do, little to no shops that weren't for tourists and there was only a McDonalds.

The Wi-Fi was slow, her iPhone and MacBook were low on power and the plug ins were scare, monopolized and not located near any of those terrible seats. She had used one, a few hours ago, when her phone had died. She sat crisscross applesauce next to a trash can for twenty minutes, gum on the dirty carpet next to her while a fifteen-year-old Gen Z-er stared her down, waiting for his turn until she deemed her devices charged enough to get out of there.

Now, imagining spending even more time in this god forsaken airport almost had Hinata seriously regretting her life choices. This, of course, was not new for Hinata. Regret was a familiar acquaintance of her's. But regretting her financial situation was new. She had never given great importance to wealth, knowing that it had never lead to happiness. Hinata grown up in one of the richest families she knew and her childhood had still been severely lacking in other basic departments like love and respect. Her marriage also had not been short on money, but again was missing the love and respect elements. Ironic.

So Hinata was painfully aware that money could not buy happiness.

But it could've bought her a new ticket on the next flight, though. Instead of being waitlisted with everyone else on her entire plane. The size of this airport and the number of flights going in and out lead her to believe that she would be here for much longer then the hour and twenty-minute wait until the next flight.

She made her way to gate A3, which was right behind the desk with the less than helpful worker, and sat down in the faux leather black chairs with the awkwardly spaced arm rests. Hinata tried not to cry. She had grown up with Hiashi Hyūga as a single parent. She had survived her estranged husband. She wouldn't let an extended layover make her cry in public. She had come too far.

Her stomach growled.

Instead of dwelling on her impeding starvation, she pulled out her phone. A cracked iPhone 5c that her little sister let her use, matching the outdated MacBook that was thicker than a college text book. At the moment, they are her most prized possessions.

"So… when is the next flight?"

The voice wasn't directed at her. But made her drop her phone anyways. Low, raspy, but exuberantly loud and cheerful.

"Oh, Mr. Namikaze!" The desk attendant practically shrieked, in a much kinder tone than Hinata received.

The conformation of her suspicions had her stomach churning, not with hunger.

Naruto.

War hero. United Nations Ambassador. An honest prospective Hokage candidate. He was now featured in magazines like Forbes and even GQ, famous not only for his passionate pacifism and activism but also for his charming good looks and silly, boyish attitude.

Most importantly, Hinata's childhood crush.

"The next flight is in an hour and fifteen minutes, Mr. Namikaze. The gate is right behind my desk so don't be afraid to ask for anything."

The way she said 'anything' didn't sound like snack voucher compensation.

"Thanks so much, y'know."

Hinata hadn't had a panic attack since she had got back to Konoha, but those familiar feelings were already creeping in. Pounding heart, cloudy eye sight, clammy hands, shaky legs, hair on her neck standing on end. He was headed to the same gate as her. To wait for the same flight. He would see her. He would talk to her.

She dove on the ground for her phone, pushing it further under her seat so it would take longer to grab. It was a silly move. She couldn't stay down there forever.

But Hinata was a pathetic, desperate person.

The only plan she could formulate, was that perhaps Naruto would get a seat facing away from her, and he wouldn't notice when she sat back up. Giving Hinata enough time to go hide in a bathroom for the next hour and fifteen minutes until she was inevitably bumped to the next flight.

She took a deep breath. She could do this.

Grabbing her phone and sitting up, as slowly as possible. All she needed to do is grab her laptop and backpack and she could bolt right on out of there.

"Hinata?"

Oh kami, that voice.

She took a deep breath, trying to hold down the shiver that ensued.

"Hinata Ōtsutsuki?"

She swallowed, accepting her defeat.

Naruto stood right behind her, in a suit. His blonde hair was smoothed down, his tanned skin flawless, eyes shining. He had a leather brief case, gold watch, his shoes shined.

He looked amazing.

Hinata was wearing leggings, a fleece pullover quarter zip, and boots that could be mistaken for slippers. She was tired, dirty and smelled of the airport. She was also, hands and knees on the ground, ass facing him.

She stood up quickly, blushing burning so hard her face hurt. She dusted herself off fruitlessly in an attempt to look anywhere else but him and so her fingers didn't poke together. She had gone to too much therapy to revert back to that.

"It's me, Naruto." He continued smiling, not dishearten by her lack of reply.

She finally looked up at him, not being able to hold back a shy smile. How could someone ever forget him?

"Hi." She managed, awkwardly.

His smile got even bigger, if that were possible. His arms reached out, one hand with the leather briefcase, another with a gold watch and a blackberry. And he hugged her.

He hugged her.

They hugged.

Hinata might've topped breathing.

"How are you? Are you also on this fligh? Are you sitting right here? Can I sit with you?" He spoke in one breath.

Hinata smiled for real this time.

He hadn't changed at all.

"Yes."

She answers most of the questions with one word, ignoring the 'how are you'. She can't answer that one. Not honestly. Not without ruining the whole conversation. She's done that enough times, at home, with family members, that don't actually care.

"I can't believe I'm seeing you. You look great, by the way. I had heard you moved back to Konoha." His voice is so cheerful, it's like its washing over her, wrapping her up in a blanket. "So what has the amazing Hinata Ōtsutsuki been doing?"

Hinata tries not to scoff, so instead she breathes out a little too harshly. "Its Hyūga, actually." She musters up as much nonchalance as she possible can for that sentence. "And, I'm working for my dad."

There's nothing to hold the déjà vu from hitting her full force in the face. That last time she had properly seen Naruto, she was also working for her father's company.

"Hyūga?" He echos, visibly confused.

"Divorced." She says.

It's a lie. Her divorce is not technically finalized. Paper work, finances, jail time is still being disputed until she can be truly free from her disaster of a marriage but 'divorced' is simpler.

She's expecting him to give an awkward apology, as most people do when they hear about the death of a union. But, he gives her a small smile and bumps her arm with his. "Hey, me too. Sakura and I called it quits a bit ago. But it ended on good terms. For Shinachiku. Have you seen my son. He's cute, believe it." Naruto leans closer, his voice lowering to a quasi-whisper. "He's a little shit though."

Hinata shakes her head no, trying not to giggle.

"Hold on." He grabs his blackberry out. "You would not believe how many fidget spinners I have to buy this kid. And apparently, I have to warn him not to eat Tide Pods. What is up with that? Nobody had to warn me not to eat detergent as a child."

He hands her the phone, showing Hinata the most beautiful little boy she's ever seen, probably around five years old. Looking exactly like Naruto without his birthmarks and very obviously had his mother's startling green eyes.

"He's adorable." She hands the phone back.

Naruto nods in agreement. "So, what about you? What was the guy's name again? Netori? Tinore?"

"Toneri." Hinata grits her teeth over her ex-husbands name. "No, not really." She tries her best not to sound too bitter.

"Ehh," He says. "He was probably an asshole."

Hinata thinks of the yelling, the screaming, the word twisting, the fresh scars she'll always have hidden in her hair line. The emergency room. Police questioning. Having to call her father for help. The thousands of dollars in court fees, hours of testifying, rehashing years of emotional and physical abuse. Fighting for a restraining order just so she could have a semblance of piece of mind.

She nods.

"I can't believe you never had kids. That's crazy. I'm a dad, me. And you're not a mom? You'd be a killer mom. Like, you were the best baby sitter ever. I remember you and baby Mirai."

Hinata tries to smile at that. She does. In another life, she would've loved to be a mom. She would often wonder what her babies would look like. In her old day dreams, they looked a lot like the person sitting next to her. Life obviously didn't have that in store for her.

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry." He seems to notice her silence and takes it in the wrong why.

"It's fine. Better this way." She tries to believe that. The divorce would be even messier if there was a custody dispute. She repeats that to herself whenever she sees her childhood friends with children.

And she is all alone.

"I still like to spoil Mirai." Hinata admits.

Naruto nods. "That sounds about right. So, working for your dad. I honestly can't imagine that either. You, working for Hyūga Hotels." He wrinkles his nose.

Hinata hates it. But, working for her father's company is the stipulation for living at home and him taking care of her. He doesn't accept free loading. Even in her situation. It is her only viable option until her financial situation is taken care of in the divorce finalization. Who knew a former heiress would need alimony?

"Just, paying the bills." Hinata is now a master at hiding her bitterness, but even this is hard to swallow.

Naruto nodded. He's known a bit about having shitty jobs in the name of just trying to scrape by. He had to join the army after all. Though it has since work out in his favor, exploding his career after his war efforts. He's a hero. But Hinata is surprised that he seems to remember only joining to meet his basic needs.

"Ino told me that she approached you about a business proposal."

Hinata is beyond shocked to hear this. That Naruto and Ino can have conversations that don't just entail them screaming at each other the whole time. And that those seemingly civilized conversations had something to do with her. Her and business?

"Um yes, but it didn't seem feasible." She answers him honestly. He seems to know how it went anyways.

Naruto makes a face like he doesn't understand this. "How come? Ino has an eye for fashion. You have the craft and mind for business. It sounded like a dope idea."

Hinata bites her lip, hearing the countries ambassador say "dope".

"It did sound like fun, but I'm not in the place financially for that type of risk. I also don't have good, or any credit, for a loan. I wouldn't be comfortable with it unless we could be proper partners, so I had to turn her down."

Ino had approached her in just two weeks of Hinata's return to Konoha. When her stitches still zigzagged through her scalp and her anti-anxiety meds weren't fully kicked in, making her hands shake. She was sleep deprived as well, having to ask Ino to repeat herself on more than on occasion. It was a hard cry from the right time to jump head first into a business.

That was months ago though. Hinata's cuts are healed into unseen scars, covered by her thick black hair, the physical ones at least. Her meds seem to be working perfectly now, no noticeable side effects. Her sleep patterns have returned to normal, aside from the random nightmare here or there. The therapist assures her that they are completely normal, and if the only thing she has to worry about are periodic nightmares from her trauma then she is doing quite well. Aside from dealing with her court dates, Hinata's life is doing much better.

But the job is still a low point.

She'd be lying if sometimes she didn't think about it. She loves knitting, crocheting, sewing, creating. And working with an old friend, as one and exuberant and lively as Ino seemed refreshing. Almost like a TV show or a Romantic comedy. But Hinata's life is not a RomCom. Hinata doesn't get to float into her job, loving what she does. Hinata has always been dealt sadness and heart ache.

Her life seems to be just one long list of lame things after lame things.

The death of her mother. The strained, borderline emotionally abusive relationship with her father. Her unrequited love from Naruto himself from Kindergarten till their high school graduation and his proposal to Sakura. The death of her cousin. The entirety of her loveless marriage she desperately tried to make work for years out of fear of being alone, letting verbal abuse escalate to physical abuse all the way until he almost killed her. And now, her final admits of defeat, asking her father for help. Living at home. Working for her family's company, something she had sworn she would never do again.

Ino Yamanaka had dreams of a trendy boutique in downtown Konoha. With original new pieces designed by her and created by Hinata's own hand. That dream sounded heavenly. Too good to be true.

And it was.

"That's admirable." Naruto nods to himself, about Hinata's fiscal responsibility. "But, I think you should still do it. It sounds like fun, and something that could actually work out. You were always amazing at making stuff. Remember my scarf?"

Hinata visibly flinches. Yes, she remembers his scarf. The very reason she wanted to avoid speaking to him. It was easy to forget, after they started talking. Naruto has always had a way with words and conversation. He's had to. You don't come from nothing, an orphan and an infantry soldier to a world leader and celebrity without being a smooth talker. But bringing up the very thing itself made Hinata remember her bathroom and hide plan she had formulate earlier under her hair.

"I still have that scarf." He admits, smiling at her like he can't see her wanting to shrivel up and die. "I didn't notice at the time, but the way you made it, I've never seen something so beautifully crafted. It's a work of art, believe it."

She can feel her blush, from her humiliation or his praise, it doesn't matter.

The scarf. The red scarf. Her love confession. His awkward thanks for the gift and blatant refusal to even acknowledge her love for him. Which was made pretty clear when he proposed to Sakura at graduation.

Senior year was not Hinata's year.

Neither was this one.

She had yet to have one, honestly.

"Thank you." She says, looking down at the ground.

He waves her off. "I'm not just flattering you! I think you should rethink Ino's proposal."

There was nothing to rethink. "It sounds like a dream." She admitted. "But it doesn't change the finances."

Naruto gave her a sly look. "That's your only reasoning for turning it down?"

"…Yes?" She looks around, wondering if this is a trick question.

They talk a little more, Naruto talks more about his job and Shinachiku, and Hinata does everything humanly possible to not talk about herself. Which is hard because Naruto suddenly seems interested. Which would've been an answer to her prayers in high school and now only has her needing to call her pharmacist to up her prescription.

"Ready to board?" Naruto asks her, almost an hour later, looking at one of the screens.

Hinata tries not to frown but all she wants to do is lay down and cry. "I think I got bumped to the next flight."

The next flight to Konoha is four hours later.

"Hold on."

Naruto abandons his expensive briefcase with Hinata at the screen, leaving her awkwardly blocking the other people who are trying to desperately find their own names. She manages to carry it, along with her back pack, over out of the way, next to a random potted plant. She observes Naruto leaning in, obviously flirting with the desk attendant. He's beautiful. More so than she even remembers him being. His suit fits him perfectly, his smile is still crooked and his eyes glitter with the same mischief as when him and Sasuke would commit some kind of misdemeanor or other back in school.

Thinking about Naruto like that makes her chest hurt like a physical pain so she tries to focus back onto the potted plant. Who waters the thing?

"I tried to add you to my ticket, but they said that the plane is completely book. But I got you a permanent seat on the next flight." He looked genuinely sorry that he couldn't do more. "So, no more wait list at least."

Hinata just started at him, opened mouthed. "Y-y-you got me a permanent seat?"

He rubbed the back of his head. Something she remembered greatly from school but she hadn't seen it all day. It had messed up the flat lay of his hair, making him look years younger.

"I really am sorry I couldn't get you on the flight." He repeats.

She shakes her head, still not believing that she had a promised seat to go home. "No, thank you so much Naruto."

He smiles at her, pumping her arm again. "No problem. Hey, listen. We should catch up so more. Can't believe you've been in Konoha for months and haven't hit me up yet." His fingers brush her as he reached for his brief case. "We'll get ramen sometime, yeah?"

Hinata can only look at him stupidly and nod.

"See you." He waves.

Hinata waves when his back is already turned to her, lips pressing together, her heart clenching. Things feel all too much like high school and its uncomfortable and depressing but there's something so familiar about it that it's also… comfortable and uplifting. She's survived Naruto's unintentional heartbreak before. He's a kind, genuine person, who has always taken care of his friends. Perhaps reconnecting with him would be a good thing.

If she can remember to keep her feelings in check, that is.

Hinata falls asleep on her hour flight home, the person in the window seat is beyond angry about the delay.

Kō is there to take her home and Hinata hugs him as he carries her bags to his car. Their car isn't chauffeured, Kō is driving his own, and Hinata appreciates it. She falls asleep in his car too, her head against the window. He wakes her up as gently as possible, and Hinata know that if she was a little girl, Kō would've carried her in side and tucked her in still sleeping like a kind grandfather. But he carries her bags all the way up to her room, apologies about her lay overs even though he had nothing to do with them, gives her a hug and tells her to get a good night sleep.

When she wakes up, her phone has blown up.

Not literally. It's not a Galaxy phone and it's not 2016, it hasn't randomly caught fire.

But she has multiple missed calls from her father, from Hanabi, her direct supervisor at work, her lawyer and her therapist. Along with three different calls from Ino Yamanaka, and a text message.

Ino: Hinata!

Naruto just called me. Told me he's willing to front the money for the boutique and that you're still interested!

Call me!

Hinata hasn't even sat up in bed yet. She has a sleep headache, she's slept for thirteen hours straight and its almost 2pm. She's beyond starving but hearing that Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki – no – Namikaze, is willing to front the money for a business that they had a conversation about at an airport during her layover. Her headache isn't just from her sleep schedule.

There's an email from Naruto in her inbox, along from a few ones for court and again from her supervisor.

From: Naruto U. Namikaze

To: Hinata Hyūga

You always believed in me.

Now it's time for me to believe in you.

We can meet in person to discuss the repayment details.

How does Aragawa sound? This Saturday at 9pm.

Meeting at the most expensive restaurant in Konoha at 9pm sounded a lot more like a date instead of discussions on monthly payments and interest. Even though she knows that Naruto would never ask her on a date, and she must remind herself of that specifically. It was also hard to ignore that Ino wasn't CC in this very informal email. And why bring up the past in such a way again? She had always believed in him. But, clearly, he never understood the depths of her feeling for him - to just compare them so easily.

From: Hinata Hyūga

To: Naruto U. Namikaze

Aragawa sounds inappropriate for a business meeting.

Sooner is better for me.

When is the closest appointment I can make?

Sincerely, Hinata Hyūga

Naruto replies almost immediately, again reminding her of high school and instant messenger.

'Get over yourself.' She screams internally. High school ended in disaster. Everything ends in disaster Hinata. How could she forget so easily?

From: Naruto U. Namikaze

To: Hinata Hyūga

Geez, so formal.

I can do tonight.

Ichiraku?

He had attached his cellphone number.

'Two birds, one stone' she mused. His promise of ramen and her business meetup make an easy paring. He then completes his obligation as an acquaintance and then they can move on a business partners.

And why was he not even mentioning Ino?

She decided to call the blonde. Maybe Ino can help ground her. Plus, there are hundreds of things they need to discuss now. Waking up to a new possible life path, talking with Naruto of all people, it's a bit too much. She's feeling light headed.

But, she lets herself smile.

This is the most excited she's been in… she has no idea.


	2. Chapter 2

“How did you come up with a business plan this quickly? Did you even sleep?”

Naruto seemed to be un-ironically astonished when she slid over the file folder.

It was the first thing she did when she arrived. The nostalgia, washing over her in an equal part calm wave of happy memories and other part complete tsunami, tidal wave of heart break and ‘if only’s. Konoha as a whole does this to Hinata. Like returning home after a long war. Home embraces you but so does the PTSD.

“How are you? You look better. Not that you didn’t look good before. But-” He waves himself off, pivoting on his stool. 

Her heart starts beating and her hands get clammy and she thinks of ways to get out of staying for ramen. She could just tell him to look over the files and email his response to her and Ino’s new business email. Her aversion to spending time with Naruto hasn’t fully waned. He still makes her nerves crack beyond anything she’s currently used to

Not because she’s still in love with him. She’s not. Yes, Naruto is kind, funny and inspiring, more so than she ever remembered him being… 

She’s not in love with him.

She’s not.

Her anxieties only rest in one thing. Which is her anxiety. Trying to pretend she’s happy. Holding regular conversations. It’s hard. Taxing. It doesn’t help that Naruto has the uncanny ability to read her. In high school, he saw through everything.

…Besides her endless and undying admiration and love. 

That man is currently not ignoring her and opting to skim the files and look over at her every few seconds, watching her. Hinata wonders if Naruto’s ADD or ADHD or whatever he had as a child actually comes in handy in his adulthood when he needs to do multiple things at once, all day long. 

She wrings her fingers, willing him through her thoughts alone to just focus on the files.

He’s dressed casually today, without a spec of orange, clad in a black long sleeve and dark jeans. Hinata herself is opted for black, cigarette style suit pants and a silk button up tucked in. She’s also wearing pointy high heels that look much more expensive than they are. 

“You look great.” 

He says it so offhanded that Hinata is startled. Her brows furrow together, lips bunch up to keep an ‘eep’ in her throat where it belongs. She did not expect him to comment on her appearance, but admittedly, curled hair, eyeliner and her work clothes are a bit much for ramen. 

“You Hyūga always mean business.” Naruto laughs to himself, twisting his body around on the stool.

She nods her head. Business is what she was trying to go for. Though Naruto seems to be doing everything to make it seem like a casual meet up, this is important to Hinata. Borrowing money goes against everything she had every grown up to believe in, and borrowing it from someone that she respects as much as Naruto, it’s adding nerves onto her nerve’s nerves. 

“Fine, fine. I can do business.” He smirks at her, and she’s only just now realizing that she’s essentially ignoring him. “I have some concerns right off the bat, but we can eat first if you want.”

“Concerns?” 

Naruto’s eyes glitter as he turns to face her. “Could’ve guessed you’re not the waiting type.” 

Her cheeks pinken at his unintentional innuendo. Or was it intentional? His own tanned cheeks warm and he laughs at himself for a moment before continuing.

“The repayment looks too steep. The interest is also too high. For starters.” Naruto demeanor changes completely when he in business mode. His voice lowers, his jaw sets and his eyes narrow, focused.

Hinata realizes her mouth is dry. “W-w-well,” She swallows down her stutter (and her shame). “I wanted to make you as comfortable as possible with the loan.”

“Hinata-”

“Aye! Naruto.”

Hinata startles by the voice, which isn’t hard to do this days. It’s a low voice, a man’s voice that she’s not prepared for. And that about it, that’s all she needs to have her almost jumping off her bar stool. 

Naruto has the decency to pretend to not notice. “Teuchi, you old man! You know how long I’ve been sitting here? I’ve practically starved to death.”

Hinata orders the same thing as Naruto, just so she doesn’t have to talk as long. She doesn’t mind spicy pork ramen anyways. Where she is full of uncomfortable silences and awkward nods, Naruto is as enthusiastic about talking to her as he was at the airport. 

“We should hang out again soon.” Naruto smiles at her.

Hinata pretends to chew longer than she needs to. Letting the noodles become mush in her mouth. She swallows, hoping it doesn’t look too forced. “Mmhmm.” She nods, uncommitted.

Naruto’s eyes squint a little, observing her for too long. She’s not used to this. Besides a man paying attention to her, but Naruto specifically. She came straight out and told him that she loved him and he had somehow either ignored her or been too preoccupied to grace her with a response. Fast forward ten or so years and it seems like he can’t stop micro analyzing her every move and shoving money in her face.

It’s not about the money.

It’s never been about money.

But Naruto’s loan for her and Ino’s business will grant Hinata the freedom she so desperately wants. Because at almost thirty years old, she’s never truly tasted it. She married Toneri less than a year after graduating high school, transferring her freedoms from her father to her husband like some ancient bridal agreement. Though it’s her own fault, she married Toneri herself. There’s nobody else to blame for all of her misfortunes. 

But freedom.

She can almost taste it. 

The bitterness of being indebted to someone stings. Even someone as kind as Naruto. 

If it’ll get her out of her father’s home…

Maybe after she pays Naruto every penny back with interest, she’ll be able to buy herself a phone and give Hanabi’s back. It’s pathetic that she has that listed as Priority Number 3, underneath the loan repayment and her own living conditions.

“About the changes,” She prompts, wanting to get back to business. 

Naruto nods, grabbing a pen out of his back pocket. His marks are quick, efficient and she wonders home many memos a day that he makes last minutes changes on. Naruto always seemed like a last-minute kind of guy. But from yesterday and today, Hinata wonders if she knows this man at all.

“I can’t accept immediate payments. If you’re serious about quick repayment, I’m willing to allow them to start a month after your launch date instead of when you start making a profit. I can see now that you are completely professional when it comes to business. Shouldn’t have expected anything less.” He smirks at her, and she knows that he’s giving a compliment. “The interest you have counter proposed is much too steep and I cannot accept. I’m willing to average them.”

He slides her documents back to her, capping his pen and laying on the papers, for her in case she needs to add her own notes. She doesn’t. Naruto’s efficiency is impressive. Ino would be happy. She wasn’t too stoked when Hinata firmly decided on the aggressive payment stances. 

Hinata holds a hand out for Naruto to shake. He laughs but shakes it back so hard it wiggles her whole body. 

“But seriously, we should do something that’s not, you know, business related.” Naruto goes back to his ramen. “You still need to meet Shinachiku.”

Her stomach twists uncomfortably at this. She bites her lip and nods, leaving that evening without agreeing to anything.

She starts coming over to Ino’s house every single day after work between 5pm - 6pm and stays until midnight. It’s exhausting, mind and body and Hinata can only be thankful for it. 

Ino’s down stairs family room becomes their office. Clothes get ordered. Ino’s plans are drawn out. Hinata goes to work creating them. They make a good team. Ino has always known fashion, and she’s using social media as a free marketing, leading up to their launch. Hinata is making and altering the clothing faster than she ever thought she could, after she relearns some particularly important stitches and maneuvers. It’s been years since she’s used a sewing machine, but luckily this one is ancient, it’s Ino’s mothers.

Designing their own website to cut down on cost is Hinata’s idea. She is using her own laptop, and had to watch YouTube videos late into the night to even begin. It’s confusing and frustrating at almost every turn. The learning curve is steep. But Ino is beyond impressed that Hinata has figured this much out, and on that old “monstrosity” as she so dubs it. 

Inojin Yamanaka is an almost invisible child when he wants to be. Quiet, and usually drawing a picture, watching TV or playing video games. He doesn’t bother Hinata at all, except for a polite ‘hello’ when their paths so converge. One evening, when Hinata arrives, there’s more than one child at the Yamanaka house. 

Shinachiku could be picked out of a line up. He reminds Hinata of what a modern-day cherub would be. It’s exactly like looking at Naruto when she first met him, but all too easy to see the differences. The green eyes, smooth, unmarked cheeks. 

“Hello.” He smiles.

The politeness is also an obvious difference.

She can practically hear Naruto’s much raspier, childhood voice, “Oi, who are you old lady?”

“Hello.” It’s easy to smile back.

“Mrs. Hinata, this is Shinachiku and Shikadai. We’re just gonna play outside.” Inojin sums up what the three boys have wandered downstairs for in what is the most words he’s strung together in front of her.

She looks at the green eyes trio and smiles. She warns them to be careful of the boxes, towered high above. Not so much for the merchandise inside. She can only imagine what would happen to a perfect little kindergarten under a massive pile of cardboard and handmade goods. 

Sometimes Hinata is bothered that she doesn’t have children. Naruto and Sakura, Ino and even Shikamaru have beautiful sons to dote upon and she can only lay in bed and think about a child she could’ve had.

Hamura would’ve been his name. Not one she picked but that’s the name he would’ve been. If he had been a boy. If he existed.

She wanted to name her son after Neji. Sometimes, she would wonder if this make-believe son would look like her. And by extension, Neji. She can’t imagine what that would do to her heart. But having him look like the alternative seems worse.

She wonders if this Hamura would be kind. Polite. Would he play videos games all day, or go outside with his green-eyed friends? Would he be kind and polite?

Would he be just like his father?

She cries herself to sleep that night.

Hinata knows she’s dreaming. She’s been through this very scenario hundreds of times now, behind haunted eyes, through the soft coaching voice of her therapist and now, as the nightmare engulfs her.

She can’t remember what the fight was about. Probably something insignificant, it usually was. The first time he punched her in the face had been about if his suit was black or navy. This fight, the last one, the one that will inevitably have her waking in a few moments with knees pulled up to her chest, shivering in the darkness, crying for her mother who has been gone so long she only has memories of memories of a ghost to comfort her, she has absolutely no clue what that fight had been about. 

That night, the last night, she had tried to push him away. It was the biggest mistake. The one that ultimately sealed her fate. He hated when she fought back. He much preferred that she pretended nothing was happening, and take it, head bowed in silence until he requested some sort of vocal response from her.

She had made all the critical mistakes that she had learned to avoid, through night after night of trial and error. Looking afraid was the worst one. Nothing would send him into a murderous rage faster than cowering away from him. Tears were another no-no. Leaning away from his touches was also something she’d never do, not if she wanted to end the night unscathed at least.

She had done all of these things.

Her therapist tells her that it’s not her fault. The rational part of her brain understands… but… the dark part of her, the part that convinced her for years that she deserved it. It was her fault. If only she could be better. If only she didn’t make him act that way. 

‘Hinata!’ the voice screams at her. ‘If you know he doesn’t like it, and you do it anyways, how can you blame him?’

She’s caught completely off guard when he crashed her through the glass table. It’s an out of body experience, like she’s watching herself lay there, clad in only a silk bathrobe, blood leaking into the rug beneath her like spilled wine. It takes two different doctors to stitch the skin of her scalp and the back of her neck together, but that’s not the only damage he’s caused. Through the shards of glass, his hands encase her throat, going over a 14k gold necklace he had bought her, over a year ago. 

It was an apology, for a black eye, though never specifically stated like that of course. He just so happened to want to give her a gift, two days after a sucker punch to the face that knocked her into an antique hutch full of their heirloom porcelain. She has cream concealer over her entire face, he doesn’t like to look at her discolored skin. It disgusts him. He smiled at her, so big and wide, like a child, when he holds her gift out to her. Her hands shake, and she does her best to smile and thank him. In turn, he angrily asks her how much she’s had to drink that evening. He was so sure that the shaking couldn’t be from pure, unadulterated fear she held for him. 

Toneri collapses her windpipe that night.

She is told, multiple times by police officers, nurses, her doctor, her lawyer, that he could’ve killed her. That he was going to kill her. 

There’s a statistic that one of the police officers tell her, after one of her many, many interviews (interrogations). If your partner has strangled you in the past, your risk of being killed by them is 10 times higher. He asked her how many times he had choked her. Hinata can’t even guess a number. Strangulation is one of the most lethal forms of domestic violence: unconsciousness may occur within seconds and death within minutes. The first responders into her mansion tell her this later, when she is getting released from the hospital after more than six weeks, to her father like she’s some kind of child.

Hinata still feels like a child. 

She had blacked out as he was choking her. As she faded out, her thoughts were beyond ridiculous. Weren't last thoughts suppose to be significant? Shouldn’t they have some kind of meaning to them? 

The sick part of her, the part that worries about Toneri, still cares about him, the part that all long term abused women have, the part that allows this abuse to continue, that part of her wonders if Toneri has cut himself. Yes, Hinata is this sick at the time. The glass is sharp, she knows because her blood is now soaking into her silk robe.

The next thing she thinks, is that if only she had taken her Xanax earlier. She would’ve been asleep by the time he got home. But he’s early. She’s only had half a bottle of wine, and zero pills. She’s almost fully coherent when he gets there, lost in whatever show she was watching on Netflix. 

This? She thinks after that. Her life boils down to this. Alcoholism and filling her prescriptions as she binge watches show after show, sleeping fifteen, sixteen hours a day, tiptoeing around a loveless marriage, hoping not to step on a land mine that will have her face bruised, crying in a bathtub as he screams over her. “It’s your fault! Why would you make me do this Hinata? You know I don’t want to hurt you. Why would you make me hurt you?” 

Valid questions. 

Should’ve taken the Xanax sooner, Hinata. She wanted to laugh at her own dark humor, but she can’t breathe. She should stop watching those foreign TV show. Her humor was getting dry, sarcastic. 

As her body relaxes, fading out of her consciousness, looking up into the cold blue eyes of her would-be murderer and current life partner, she thinks of a different pair of blue eyes. Warm ones. Like the ocean, at a tropical beach. So calm, so inviting. Blonde hair, but not like her husband’s hard platinum color. No, this blonde is the hot sand at that beach. She only got to touch it a few times, soft and course in only the way hair can be. She doesn’t know if it’s brain damage setting in or if sand sifting through her fingers would feel like his blonde hair. His skin is tan, just like she’ll be soon, laying out on this beach, next to the water, basking in his sunlight. She closes her eyes and lays back. It’s so warm. It’s so safe there, at the beach. It smells good, fresh, salty sea air and freedom. That’s where she wants to be. At the beach.

Naruto.

How absolutely absurd, for her last thoughts to be of Naruto. She hasn’t spoken to him since high school. He’s on TV enough for her to get an unintended glance at how beautiful he’s become. But other than that, she goes out of her way to not think about him. Not talk about him. She wants nothing to do with him. 

As she lays dying, she must obviously be consumed with him. All the rest of her work has gone to waste, might as well add this to the list. 

Her eyes close for what she thinks will be the last time. 

They snap open, awakened by her own screams. 

She’s not at the beach, she’s in her room. At home. Not the mansion in Kumo. She’s in her childhood home, in her childhood bedroom in Konoha, laying on the ground, wrapped in her comforter, screaming. 

Kō breaches protocol and enters her room uninvited. She can’t hear him, but he picks her up and tucked her back into bed. Even though it’s inappropriate, she wants to ask him to hold her. She doesn’t though, she doesn’t want to put him in that position. So she tells him that she’s fine, “Sorry for waking you.” and assured him that he can go back to bed. In the dark, she takes her shaky arms and holds herself, the way her therapist has instructed, for the next couple hours until it’s socially acceptable for her to get out of bed. 

Ino’s house has the appearance of being cold and sterile, minimalistic. But the flowers and the paintings create a wonderful sort of mood, that it’s easy to get lost in her work. Sewing sometimes can be monotonous enough that her own thoughts can seep in, but the web designing is not. She can bounce back and forth between the two for hours. And she does.

“You’re work ethic is astounding.” Sai mentions, one night. 

She can only blush. It has always been hard to accept compliments. Especially when she’s so undeserving. She’s not working because she has pride in her work or because she loves this business so much (those are both true though). Her working to the bone is completely selfish. 

She waves Sai off in a little laugh.

Sai, who reminds her a little of Sasuke in high school, is more on the intense side of this. 

“It’s inspiring.” He insists. “Can I paint you?”

“What the fuck Sai?” Ino looks scandalized. “You can’t just ask people that.”

Sai looks unphased. “I’ll just sit in the corner.”

Ino rolls her eyes. “I heard that from a couple guys at Uni.” Her head lulls back in a cackle. “Creeps never change.” 

Sai is unbothered by the jab.

Hinata wasn’t allowed to go to college. ‘You have all the money you would ever need.’ Toneri tells her as he restricts her access to said money down to a single debit card monitored by him personally. 

“We’re going to need to rent an actual warehouse. I know we’d need to eventually, but I thought we could wait until the website was up and running.” Ino laments.

The down side of Hinata’s overproduction. Space. A warehouse was always in the plans, but because of what Hinata has done to their loan agreement with Naruto, there isn’t enough to buy one. Hinata knows that Ino will just suggest they rent one. And right now that is currently their only option. But Hinata has enough business knowledge to know that renting is a solid no. 

She wants to tell Ino that they can stick it out in her family room until the website is live. Boxes are piled up, everywhere, in front of the TV, on the couch, along the walls, so high that Hinata is sure that a single tremor is going to send one tower crashing down and killing the Yamanaka’s only son. Hinata is sequestered into a corner desk, flanked by almost full clothing racks, papers stacked between an ancient computer and Ino’s hand me down Singer sewing machine. 

Sai is now standing next to the desk, holding a pad of paper and rough sketching her in charcoal.

Any argument dies on Hinata’s lips.

Renting is as unappealing as asking Ino what she actually means about guys asking to watch her at University. Approaching Naruto for money is even more so. The months, possibly years it will take to repay him have kept her working late into the night just as much as her own neurosis.

Or were those the same thing?

A cool dread filters over Hinata, and it’s not because the way Sai is drawing her isn’t necessarily flattering. 

She knows where she can get the money for the warehouse. Enough to pay back Naruto. Might even be enough to get her a hole in the wall in the city, at least enough for a down payment. Theoretically, it’s enough to solve all of her problems.

Theoretically.

When Kō picks her up, minutes before midnight, she emails her lawyer.


	3. Chapter 3

Karui Akamichi is Hinata’s new lawyer, now that Hinata is planning on quitting Hyūga Hotels. It helps that Karui is from Kumo, or so she tells her during their first and only meeting. She recognizes the last name, Choji had been a staple in her friend group from high school. Spending all of her free time with Ino and occasionally emailing Naruto business related information is really taking her back. But Akamichi is a big clan in Konoha, and Karui is from Kumo anyways, so Hinata doesn’t question it.

It’s not like she can afford a new lawyer anyways. Especially one that’s versed in both countries court systems. Karui is a one in a million and Hinata, who has never had it easy, is choosing to not look the gift horse in the mouth. 

“To put it simply, they are offering a fifth of Mr. Ōtsutsuki’s salary from Tenseigan Industries from the last four years of your marriage. In turn, you would have to drop all personal charges against him.”

Four years seems random to Hinata. They had been married for nine. Doing quick math in her head, and only guessing his salary as CEO, since she wasn’t allowed to know about their finances, its more than enough. It’s got to be somewhere around a million, if she was lucky. 

Paying off her medical bills. Paying back her father. Paying back Naruto. Buying the warehouse. Getting her own place. Buying her own cellphone. She’d probably only be able to rent a studio in the city, the real-estate market is steep, as most large cities are. But she can’t live outside and commute. She wasn’t allowed to drive.

Allowed.

She shakes her head at the flawed thinking.

Toneri doesn’t decide things anymore. It’s harder to remember than one would think. But regardless, she’s twenty-eight years old and she doesn’t know how to drive. With the rough estimates her in her head, she wouldn’t have enough money left over for a car anyways. Maybe a beater, but city life suits her now. She spent enough years trapped out in some mansion away from a civilization. She doesn’t want to be isolated anymore.

“The case was picked up by their district attorneys. I don’t have the power to personally drop it.” Hinata is sure Karui already knows this.

“You would need to withdraw all of your previous testimonies and refuse further. They would only have witness statements, which they are slowly but surely buying away, and your hospital photos. Which are pretty damming, even on their own.”

She can tell that her lawyer wants her to go this route. It’s a promise of money and allows Hinata to end this chapter of her life. No more court summons. No more taking time off to fly back to Kumo. No more rehashing the worst events of her life. A clean break. Yes, Toneri would essentially be paying her off. Along with every other person that had so far testified in her defense. 

The amount of times Hinata has had to remind herself that she doesn’t care about money is laughable. She used to pride herself on not being so shallow. But it’s easy not to care about money when you don’t need to. Growing up the heiress of the biggest hotel conglomerate in their hemisphere and then going straight into the wife of a CEO of a multi-billion-dollar corporation has never really prepared her for this. Owing people money. Not being able to afford simple things.

It’s eye opening for sure.

But is being poor worth the sacrifice? She has just started sleeping at night.

“What about my restraining orders?”

“You will keep both the ones in Kumo and Konoha until the trial is over. Depending on the outcome, which I can’t see going anywhere less than favorable, you should be able to keep them. Your photos are incredibly powerful, Ms. Hyūga. I’ve seen these kind of cases won with a fraction of the evidence you have.” She says.

Hinata chews her lips and fiddles her fingers back and forth, hidden underneath the table. The money aspect is tempting, she feels guilty to admit. But the peace of mind… She’d have to recant all of her statements. Essentially telling Toneri that she’s forgiven him for what he’s done, and she hasn’t. Not even a little. There is still the chance, a good chance if her lawyer is to be believed, that he’ll be held accountable for his actions. But can she really feel good about it if she hasn’t done her part?

“I’m going to need some time.” Hinata finally manages to get out.

Karui presses her lips together, her golden eyes fixing Hinata with a sickening look of pity. She’s used to this look, but it doesn’t hurt any less. She tosses her thick red hair over her should and tries to smile at her but grimaces. Hinata knows what she looks like to a powerful woman like Karui. Pathetic. 

“Of course, Ms. Hyūga. But these offers don’t last forever.”

Hinata does her best to smile and thank her. They shake hands, warm luminous dark skin against dry, pale plaster cold hands so white her veins shine blue in the office lights.

Nothing lasts forever.

Hinata goes to Kurenai’s house after. It’s warm and reminds her of happy days. Hinata is craving comfort food, like cinnamon rolls or oatmeal raisin cookies, but Kurenai has currently jumped the vegan fad bandwagon and Hinata ends up sitting outside with a celery and kale smoothie. It’s warm out, summer is approaching, but Hinata is wearing a sweater. 

She’s wearing two sweaters actually.

Shino is also there, drinking down his smoothie without complaint. He’s wearing what can only be described as business casual, and Hinata still hasn’t got over his man bun that he’s been sporting since she’s returned to Konoha. 

“I don’t think that you should take the deal Hinata.” Kurenai says.

Hinata nods, not in immediate agreement, but to show her former teacher that she’s listening. Kiba isn’t there, he’s not serious enough for those kinds of conversations and Hinata knows that though Kiba is a loyal friend, he cannot always be trusted to keep his mouth shut.

“You’re already losing access to your therapist, and lord knows if you’ll be able to afford private healthcare. Or your medication for that matter.” Kurenai sniffs before taking another sip of smoothie. “Though that might be more of a blessing.”

Shino shakes his head marginally, and even though the smoothie tastes like dirt, Hinata takes a deep drink to hide her smile.

Kurenai has an incredibly archaic opinion about mental health and the subsequent medications and has expressed this “danger” to Hinata at every opportunity. Shino, who also respects his mentor has not countered her opinions in front of her, but has called Hinata after each time and told her how proud he is of her taking care of herself. The ‘for once’ goes left unsaid. 

“You’re still continuing your sobriety?” Kurenai asks, almost condescendingly, but more kind.

Hinata has chosen, along with the advice of her said therapist, to remain sober. The years she’s spent wine drunk and high on whatever pills she could get a prescription for terrify her, and she’s trying to move on with her life from that time. She doesn’t even take Tylenol or drink caffeine, but that’s her own tendencies to go to the extreme. 

“I still think that your substance abuse problems were purely situational.” 

Hinata and Shino both smile.

Kurenai might be opinionated, but her love for Hinata cannot be hidden. She can only appreciate this, she has been suffering from a severe lack of love in the last few years. 

“Regardless, Hinata’s aversion to alcohol can only be positive to her health in the end.” Shino finally speaks up, clinking his cup with hers. 

Kurenai shrugs. “But at what cost, Shino?” It’s said with some amout of amusement, but Hinata knows the truth.

She may be a follower of fad diets, but its best never to threaten her evening wine and weekend jack and coke. Hinata doesn’t fault her. She’s a teacher and a single mother. Hinata can’t imagine how long that would take to unwind from the stress.

Stress is something that has currently been building upon Hinata. She has not quit working for Hyūga Hotels, she needs the income and the housing her father provides with it. But she has been working into the night, every night until the website launches. Stress has been building between her shoulder blades in sharp pains, her fingers becoming stiff after hours of note taking, typing and sewing. She breaks to eat, sleep and shower. 

Having to take time off to see her lawyer was more impromptu than anything. Hinata had emailed her regarding the new proposal and was instead scheduled for a full appointment. Taking less time than expected left the opportunity to visit Kurenai. Lucky surprise, Shino came included. 

“I expect Kiba will be incredibly jealous.” Shino remarks, sometime after they go inside and Kurenai starts making zucchini pancakes.

Hinata thinks that he’s being sarcastic. Jealous… of the veggie cakes? But then she sees what Shino is gesturing to. Kurenai, Mirai and then both of them in a cramped kitchen. She smiles. Yes, Kiba would be jealous.

“We’ll see you at Kono’s party, right?” Mirai asks when it’s getting dark out and too late to be socially acceptable.

Konohamaru and Hanabi’s engagement party. It was that next weekend, and of course Kurenai and Mirai would be invited.

Hinata nods her head, trying to hide her grimace. Her sister’s recent engagement is something aching on her heart. Is she unbelievably happy for her little sister? Without a doubt. Is she beyond pathetically upset about her own life situation? Honestly, when is she not? She is trying not to let any of her other feelings cloud this. Her sister deserves happiness and even if Hinata feels hallowed out, she will be happy for her baby sister.

She smiles at Mirai, someone else she also considers to be her little sister. She must be happy for her too. “Of course.”

The preteen smiles up at her and gives her a hug. The love is warm enough to keep her feeling bouncy until she gets home, but realizing she hasn’t worked until exhaustion is problematic and instead Hinata stays up until the witching hours working on Hyūga Hotels paper work. That is until her eyelids refuse to stay up and she can fall asleep without worrying too much.

Ino manages to convince Hinata to wear some of the clothing for the boutique. It’s not Hinata’s style at all, since she doesn’t really have one outside of work clothes and pajamas. But Ino manages to shove Hinata into a tight, black jumpsuit that Ino insist is formal wear. The V-neck is too low for Hinata’s comfort level but Ino layers some silver necklaces over her décolletage, like that somehow preserves her modesty (Hinata has thoughts to the contrary) and pairs a loose-fitting periwinkle suit style jacket for her ensemble. Along with it, she its wearing open toed, strappy heels Hinata usually only sees in watching old 90’s movies.

But this is why Ino chooses the clothes and Hinata does the creation and alterations.

“Your bangs are so vogue Hinata.” Ino praises her, straightening them over and over.

Her bangs have been the same since she was a child.

“Pin straight, it’s so edgy.”

Hinata is sure she’s blushing under the makeup Ino has applied. “Thank you.”

Hinata arrived at Hanabi’s house early, dresses as a much more sexy, confident woman than she is, ready to help with anything her little sister might need. 

“Will you straighten my hair?” She asked.

It’s a simple task. Easy enough. Hinata’s throat tightens, eyes prickle and she has to nod instead of answering audibly.

It strikes her sometimes, how much she’s missed out on in other people’s lives. Her sister is a fully-grown woman, getting married, living on her own. When Hinata first moved to Kumo, Hanabi wasn’t even a freshman in high school.

How many times had she missed out on straightening her little sister’s hair?

The bathroom is sparkling white, so clean that Hanabi must have a professional cleaner. It smells almost of bleach, but with a fresh “beach” smell masking it. Not like the actual beach, which always smells like fish and garbage to Hinata, but like Bath and Body Works version of the beach. 

Hanabi plays a soft music off her brand-new rose gold iPhone and Hinata is grateful. Awkward silences seem a lot less awkward when it just looks like both of them are appreciating the ambiance. 

“Your outfit is amazing.” Hanabi offers. 

Hinata smiles, eyes down, focusing harder on straightening each strand more than she has to. “Thanks.” She has not grown comfortable in the jumpsuit yet.

“Your website is launching soon, right?” She asks, again.

Hinata nods, pressing her lips together. “In a couple weeks.” She affirms.

There’s a quite lull again, its nearing time for people to show up. Hinata rakes the now warm hair with her fingers, making sure everything is even. Hanabi deserves to look beautiful on an evening especially for her.

“Hinata,” Hanabi says her name in a way that instantly makes her freeze. It’s the way everyone says someone’s name before they launch into something important.

She leans back to appraise her little sister. Hanabi is taller than her now that they are both adults. Not by much, but an inch seems like a mile when it’s her little sister. She’s thin too, not in an unhealthy way, her chest is slighter than Hinata’s, but average. Her skin has more of a healthy pigment than Hinata’s has, but would still be considered pale. Her long brown hair is now loosely curled and laying down her back, touching her hip bones. She has the same pale eyes as Hinata, as their father.

Neji. Hinata thinks. Hanabi looks so much like Neji that it almost hurts.

“I,” Hanabi pauses and this catches Hinata’s attention. Her little sister is not one to be unsure of herself. 

Hinata has always held the Hyūga family monopoly on stuttering.

Hanabi swallows, starting over. “Now that your back, I want us to be closer.”

Hinata’s chest tightens so much that her heart feels physical pain and she pathetically resists the urge to grab at it. Her eyes burn again and this time they actually become misty. “Really?” She asks, needing some kind of reassurance. 

Hanabi nods, looking sad. Hinata doesn’t have time to analyze Hanabi’s facial expression. Nor does she want to either. Her little sister, who she arguably loves more than anyone else in the world, wants to have a closer connection. 

“When you left, I, I really missed you.” Hanabi admits. “I don’t want to miss out on you like that again, okay?”

Hinata wonders how hard this is for her to say. 

Or how hard it would be to look at an older sister again, after helping care for her. 

Hanabi had come to Kumo when Hinata had been hospitalized and with her father, over saw her care and arranged for her to come home. Hanabi had to lend her an old phone for her to use. She had to watch her older sister rejoin the family company and work the same job that she had worked in summers during high school. Hanabi lived her in own massive apartment on the nicest part of town with her new fiancé. While her older sister that she was supposed to look up to lived at home, broke, spending her days wasting other people’s money on clothing shop dream that hadn’t made a profit yet.

Could a little sister really love someone like that?

“I’d really like that.” Hinata finally whispers, looking down at her fingers.

Even if she didn’t deserve the relationship with Hanabi, she’d appreciate it.

She feels Hanabi’s arms encircle her body and pull her tight. She lets her sister pin her arms down and hug her, unable to reciprocate.

In a different life, Hinata imagines being able to take care of Hanabi. Not that their roles would be reversed, because she would never wish her pain on her little sister. But that she’d be emotionally available to make everything about her sister today. Like it should be. Hanabi wouldn’t have to have this awkward conversation. 

In a better life, Hinata would be giggling excitedly to Hanabi as she did her hair, exchanging funny stories about Konohamaru’s proposal. Their love for each other would be unsaid but deeply understood.

Maybe one day.

“Hana, I think that caterers just got here – oh,” Konohamaru appeared at the bathroom door, looking shocked to see the two sisters. “Hinata. Hi.”

Hinata gave a shy smile back. Konohamaru was one of those people completely unable to look at Hinata normally. His entire face and demeanor looked at Hinata like some kind of wet papier-mâché project, or a glass of wine too close to the edge of the counter. Or like in high school, trying to talk to a girl after you had accidently seen her leaked nudes. Konohamaru knew too much about Hinata without having any familial love for her. He had probably seen her photos from the hospital, knew intimate details about her psychiatric evaluations. 

She couldn’t hold it against him.

He looked at her like a cracked and leaking egg, and honestly, she felt like a cracked and leaking egg.

“Hi.” She tried to smile back.

There was an odd beat where they just tried to smile at each other, both coming to terms that they would soon be family members with a relative stranger, tied together by the young brunette physically and figuratively between them. 

“Did you let them in?” Hanabi asked, releasing Hinata from her hug.

Konohamaru rolled his eyes, full of teasing. “No Hana, I told them to wait outside. What do you think.”

“I think I can always change my mind Sarutobi, don’t sass me.”

Hinata could not believe how many people fit into Hanabi’s apartment, though spacious, there had to be over fifty people milling about. Hinata had sequestered herself off in between the balcony and the kitchen, able to get a drink of water or a breath of air under any dire circumstance. Kurenai and Mirai found her easily enough and joined her.

Kurenai didn’t grow up in the Sarutobi Clan, her family affairs didn’t involve rich strangers. It was nice to be with kindred spirits.

Since coming home, Hinata had worked herself hard, a coping mechanism her therapist had told her. Duh. Hinata didn’t need to pay that much an hour to recognize that. On the healthier side of coping mechanisms, it was. She didn’t have the same need to dull her senses when she was physically and mentally drained enough to be passed out before her head hit the pillow.

But Hinata was uncomfortable.

There were so many people she didn’t know. That obviously knew her. 

She was shoved in the jumpsuit, so tight on her bust and ass she might as well have been naked. The makeup on her face felt like a mask she could peel off. 

It didn’t help that she had been offered champagne over four times already. 

Kurenai was drinking her second glass, smiling superiorly. 

Hinata clung to sobriety. She’s not a drunk. She doesn’t need bottles of wine a night to sleep. She’s safe now.

But was she?

Multiple women had approached her that evening about her outfit choice, Hanabi no doubt spreading the news about her older sisters clothing like any dutiful sibling. Hinata doesn’t know if its ironic or genuine but she swears that one of Hanabi’s college friend snaps a photo of her and Hinata is ready to go home and cry. She doesn’t care the reason. Honestly the girl could’ve been taking a selfie in her direction. But her nerves are shot. 

She wants to go home.

Home to childhood bedroom? Not really.

Home to her empty house in the Kumo mountains? No. Definitely not.

Maybe she can go to Ino’s, get some more sewing in. Ino is hounding her to make a decision about the warehouse situation though, and Hinata doesn’t know whether to approach Naruto about the loan, start a new loan with a lender, someone like her father, or somehow get a bank to sign them. Though she doesn’t even want to begin to imagine the interest on something like that with her lack of credit.

She thanks back to her new offer from Toneri. It would solve her business and housing needs in one go.

She holds back. 

She can’t be one of those weak women that let men off the hook. He needs to suffer his own consequences. She can’t be that statistic. She can’t recant her statements. She can’t pretend that it never happened. 

“Hi-na-ta.” 

She tenses at the voice, and if she didn’t feel naked before, she sure did then.

“Naruto.” She tries to even out her breath.

She wasn’t expecting him there, but now that feels beyond idiotic. Konohamru worked for him. Of course, he would be invited.

“You look amazing. From your store, right?” He’s dressed fancier than at the ramen shop from a couple months ago. Black pants, charcoal button up and a burnt orange tie. 

His hair is smoothed down again, but his smile is still a lopsided smirk. His blue eyes still hold a look like he’s planning something devious. 

It’s harder to breath than it should. It has absolutely nothing to do with the cut of the jumpsuit.

She nods.

“See,” His smirk has widened as he approached. “I knew I made a good investment.”

The gravity of the compliment that Naruto is bestowing upon her is too much. Hinata bites her lip and can only stare at him. 

Why? Why is he doing this to her?

“Come on Hina,” He bumps their elbows, laughing a little, his hands shoved deeps into his pockets.

Hinata’s fingers tangle together and her eyes sweep the floor. “Sorry.” She mumbles, embarrassed.

“Ino’s been telling me that you’re working some ridiculous hours. If I knew how serious you were about this business I would’ve invested way back when Ino first asked.”

Hinata is surprised that Ino’s been talking about her, with Naruto. But, for the business, she understands.

“Yeah,” She mumbles weakly. “It’s really important to me.”

“I can tell.” Naruto’s voice is louder than hers by octaves, and measurably more cheerful. “You shouldn’t over work yourself though. You’re not a machine, Hina.”

His usage of her old nickname is twisting her brain around, jumbling her though process and making it harder to respond to his rather benign conversation. It’s small talk, almost. It shouldn’t be this hard to talk with him. They email figures almost weekly. She should be used to him by now.

By the aching in her fingers, she clearly isn’t. 

“You should be taking more breaks. In fact, next weekend, maybe we should-”

“Mr. Namikaze!” The loud voice startles Hinata, making her jump, hand pressed to her chest, reminding her about her cleavage again.

Which is something she really didn’t need, talking with Naruto. Though it doesn’t look like they will be much more of that. The older gentlemen snatches Ambassador Namikaze by the shoulder and walks away with him further into the party. Naruto gives her an apologetic glance back, but she smiles supportively.

“Champagne.” A server asks.

Hinata’s jaw clenches but her words are always soft and polite. “No thank you.”

“Hinata.”

Her father’s tone of voice and overall presence is enough to send her neck and shoulders tightening, bracing for impact. If she wasn’t about to lose her insurance, her free housing and her only stable income, she’d consider seeing a chiropractor. 

Her father is dressed much like he is at work, in a simple but rich and tasteful suit. He leans his head towards the balcony door. She follows him wordlessly. A dutiful daughter.

Once on the balcony, her turns to face her, shoulders straight, feet forward like an apex-predator. Reminding her why he constantly reigns supreme in his line of work. He’s intimidating. 

She tries not to slink back away from him. 

Strong men are kind of on her avoidance list currently.

“This, hobby, of yours,” He starts and she can already feel the turmoil in her stomach. 

As expected, her father is not particularly excited about her new business venture. At best, he has mostly ignored it.

“I did not realize that you had borrowed the money. From the ambassador, no less.”

A part of her wants to roll her eyes. Where did he think she got the money from? Did he really think she was just sitting on that kind of cash?

“Naruto-”

“You are using the name Hyūga.” He interrupts, which Hinata is almost glad for. He’s inadvertently saved her from explaining herself, something she was not prepared for. “It would not look well on this family to have a bad business reputation with the future Hokage.”

And on that loving message, her father leaves her to rejoin the guests.

Hinata cannot fault him. She’s not a good bet for success. She has a track record of making incredibly poor decisions. And it would be an embarrassment for her business to fail. She would lose Naruto’s money. Lose the minute amount of self-respect she had somehow scraped together in the weeks that she’s been creating something.

Something bigger than herself. 

It’s just a clothing store. An online one, at that. But this is Hinata’s first big step. This is her own. Her father is right.

She cannot mess this up.

She must make sacrifices. 

But not conceding to Toneri. She can’t. 

When she was still sick. Still in Kumo, she had asked about him. Worried. Jail. The word swam around in her head, making her sea sick. No. She thought. That couldn’t happen to him. He wouldn’t do well there. 

Her perception on him had been so warped, so altered that even though the mere mention of him sent her hyperventilating into a panic attack, that thought of him being in prison shattered her heart.

She never wanted to be like that again.

Leaning her hands against the railing, breathing in the air of the city, she knew there was some hard choices up ahead. Maybe she shouldn’t have jumped into a business when she was still so emotionally fragile. But she couldn’t go back now. You can’t un-leap after you’ve leapt.

It would just take some figuring out.


	4. Chapter 4

The warehouse is in an odd area, some shops, some storage. It used to be the old red-light district and has some shady history. By some kind of miracle, Ino seems to just be happy to get her living room back. Hinata is sold that it is a rent-to-own and on the bus system.

Hinata only laments later that working in the warehouse at night is downright terrifying. She feels like a skittish cat, praying to god that nobody sees her actually sprinting to the bus stop around midnight, pepper spray out, almost hyperventilating and not because of the exercise. 

Taking the bus eats up more of her time than she can really afford. Between the weeks and weeks, Hinata had been working on the website, ordering and making alterations to the clothing and trying to keep up with her actual job at Hyūga Hotels, Hinata is working herself into an exhaustion. She was thankful for that at first, but not even someone that wants to can survive without sleeping.

Bags are starting to form under her eyes and she can’t close them for too long without nodding off. She had an embarrassing couple times of her head falling down onto her desk, or sewing her finger into the machine. (Ino’s gotten pretty crafty at getting blood out of some more of the expensive pieces, much to Hinata’s embarrassment.) 

It’s only temporary that she’ll be working these hours. In a matter of days now, she’ll be resigning from Hyūga Hotels and all of the perks that go along with it. A steady pay check, though not great was deeply appreciated, and soon will be needed. Her healthcare and with that, cheap to almost free medication and access to her physiatrist and therapist. Her living situation, in her father’s house, is also coming to an end. 

To some people, it would seem incredibly cold to kick out their daughter in her time of need. But, Hinata doesn’t hold her father to that. Hiashi Hyūga has already been far more generous than Hinata ever gave him credit for. He allowed her sister the time off to stay and care for her for two months to be transferred home, housed her in his house, gave her a job, though incredibly low on the chain of his business, but one she didn’t deserve none the less, with full benefits. Hinata is equal parts thankful with her entire heart, and mortified that it had to come to this. She’s twenty-eight years old, closing in on thirty and just now learning how to go out on her own.

No, she doesn’t fault her father for more or less forcing her out on her own.

She is, however, incredibly nervous.

“Sissy… you cannot be serious.” Hanabi blanched.

Hinata had made the grave mistake of allowing Hanabi, Konohamaru and Ko to come along with her and tour an apartment she was considering. Hanabi couldn’t even pretend to hide her horrific expression. She had started asking “Sissy, are you sure this is the right place?” Before Ko even pulled up to the building. The neighborhood was admittedly, not the best. Not the worst, but not somewhere she’d be taking late night leisurely strolls. The building looked somewhere between those really nice prisons in those Nordic countries where the inmates get to have their own apartments and make their meals and just go to therapy, or like the really old Soviet area apartments that dominated places like Pripyat before Chernobyl.

It was tall, grey, hard concrete looking exterior. The apartment was a studio, the hard wood floor was dull and scuffed with deep scratches that she wasn’t sure would ever be able to be buffed out. The appliances should’ve been white but faded to a yellowish color and the fridge was louder than a diesel truck engine and knocked occasionally. The walls had also faded to a dingy grey and were spotted from scuff marks that tenant before had left behind.

Hanabi kept turning around in circles, eyes fixing on chips in the molding, the crookedness of a few cabinet doors, the single light fixture that had a wire hanging out of it. “Sissy,” Hanabi had also taken to calling Hinata by an incredibly old nickname. One she hadn’t heard in almost two decades. Since their conversation at the engagement party, Hanabi seemed to stand by what she had said about their relationship. Text checking in every other day, the occasional lunches together, and digging up the ancient nickname of Sissy that had nothing to do with Hinata being an overall pathetic human being (she hoped) and more to do with trying to memorialize the time that Hanabi thought the world of her big sister. 

Boy did she grow up and learn the truth.

Hinata watched with dread in her heart as Hanabi stepped into the closet sized bathroom, just to hear her sister give an audible gasp and almost shrieked, sounding a little too real to be faux outrage and disgust. It was all real. 

Hinata’s fingers tangled together. “It probably needs to be re-grouted.” 

“I don’t know what ‘grouted’ means, but if its ‘burnt to the ground’, then yes. Yes, it does.”

“Hanabi.” Konohamaru chided his fiancé softly, either for being rude or for still standing in the bathroom, Hinata wasn’t sure.

He was still in his business suit, hands shoved in his pockets as to avoid touching anything. Hinata knew that being the heir to the Sarutobi family, working such a prestigious job at the embassy along with Naruto, that he was not used to places like this. His own apartment had as many square feet as a middle class, suburban house and had its own cleaning team. He was being much more respectful than Hinata had given him credit for.

Hanabi’s disgust did not surprise Hinata in the slightest. She was wearing a pantsuit, giving off a Hillary Clinton-esq vibe. Her long hair smoothed down around her. Hanabi wouldn’t have given this apartment a second thought if it wasn’t her older sister moving into it.

Ko, who was also wearing a suit, was much more composed than his younger companions. Though the tightens of his expression alluded to his displeasure, he was putting on a good show for his former (and current) charge.

Ko cleared his throat politely. “I’m sure there are some qualities that you have found value in.” He spoke stiffly, inviting Hinata to explain herself as politely as he knew how.

She smiled.

Hinata had been shoved into an olive green sweat suit, Ino not allowing her to wear the normal comfortable clothing Hinata usually found herself in. Even back in high school Hinata had preferred comfort to style, and now ironically owning a clothing company. Ino thought that by dressing Hinata in their clothing accomplished a variety of herself imposed goals. Publicity for the company and Hinata’s fashion to name a few of them. 

She pulled the sleeves down past her fingers and fidgeted with the two white stripes running down her sweat pants. “It’s month to month, so I don’t have to sign a lease. It’s closer to the warehouse, so the bus ride will be short. And, it has the security thing down stairs.”

The locked door that either needed a code or to be buzzed in by a tenant. Living alone was unsettling enough. Living alone in that kind of neighborhood would make anyone nervous, even someone that hadn’t been dealing with some… issues. The security system meant a lot to Hinata.

“Monthly?” Hanabi had finally exited the bathroom. “Doesn’t the lease provide more security?”

Security. Technically, yes. But that wasn’t the kind of security that Hinata was looking for. No. She had no idea how this clothing business would go. She tried not to let the small business statistics scare her, but she’d be lying if she didn’t sit up late into the night, terrified to failure, as if she wasn’t tired enough. Losing the money for Hyūga Hotels and only relying on her savings, which was pathetic if she was being honest, she couldn’t allow herself to be trapped into paying 9, 12 or even 18 months’ worth of rent with a shady foreseeable income.

Ko gave her a knowing smile. 

It wasn’t but a couple days later that her father had called her into a meeting.

Sitting across from him at his desk was something she knew she would never get totally comfortable with. He was intimidating, imposing, and he reached his peak of both of those things in his own winged back desk chair. It was a business tactic to make his opponent feel inferior, off kilter, not able to negotiate as well. Incredibly useful for business. A little less useful for father-daughter chats.

“This is your last week of work.” His voice was always powerful, even when speaking candidly, or as candid as he could muster.

He paused, inviting Hinata to speak, but she nodded instead.

“Everything is sorted out at your business?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” He nodded. “You’re moving into your new apartment.” 

She nodded again. She had already started moving her few belongings that she didn’t need to use on an everyday basis. 

“I’ll have a moving team bring your larger belongings this Saturday.” He moved to press the call button to harass his secretary.

“Father, you don’t have to do that.”

Hinata had not expected to be able to take the furniture from her bedroom. She had been scouring thrift stores, praying for an unstained mattress and resigning herself to an air bed and back pain for the foreseeable future. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. What am I going to do with your old things?” His voice was annoyed and flippant but Hinata knew better.

He had kept her high school bedroom in its complete integrity for that last ten years, preserved the way she had left it like a museum, or shrine. She knew that forcing the furniture on her was him showing that he cared.

“Thank you, father.”

He waved off her thanks as he barked through his intercom. There was a couple minutes that Hinata flinched, thinking that her life was at least leagues better than whatever life her father’s secretary was living.

“I will not be able to attend your launch party this weekend.” He announced finally, folding his fingers together in front of him.

Hinata nodded slowly.

“I have some business in Iwagakure, but,” He paused, shifting his jaw around. “I’m impressed with the way you’ve changed course. Putting all stock into one endeavor is never a smart business move, but the things you’ve done to minimize losses is… smart. You remember what I said about you still represented to Hyūga family?”

Hinata nodded.

“Especially working with Ambassador Namikaze.”

Hinata tried not to roll her eyes at him giving Naruto such a title. Her father once kicked him out of the house for eating all his crackers in the eighth grade and banned him from attending one of her birthday parties. Now he gets the title of Ambassador and she needs to be warned about treading on reputations.

“You’ve already seen my repayment plans. For Mr. Namikaze and yourself.” She smiled tightly.

“Yes. You’ve created an aggressive plan, and I went over ours personally.” He nodded.

Finally, after taking a deep breath. “My next appointment is due any minute and you should get back to work. You haven’t finished here yet.” He admonished. 

She smiled and nodded at her dismissal. 

“Hinata,” He stopped her before should could make her exit. “I’m proud of you.”

The floor fell away as her insides liquefied. Did her father just say...?

He cleared his throat awkwardly, turning back to his computer, fingers flying on the keyboard. “Let’s go, Hinata. It’s is unbecoming to procrastinate. Get back to work.”

Hinata managed to make it to that floors bathroom before bursting into tears. Her father praising her was something that she would never get used to. Also, currently being more fragile than she’d like to admit. The uncertainty of her future had also been grating her nerves into fine powder. Never the less, these are happy tears.

This just reaffirms what she wanted anyways. She had to succeed. She must. Not just so she can support herself. Not just to pay back Naruto, which she desperately wants to do. But to make her father proud.

During the week, she gets several emails and text messages from Naruto, as always. 

From: Naruto U. Namikaze

To: Hinata Hyūga

Excited about the launch party this Saturday.

She wasn’t quite sure that was a necessary email, and doesn’t reply.

From: Naruto U. Namikaze

To: Hinata Hyūga

Heard you got a new place. Congrats.

Maybe I can bring a house warming present over sometime?

Hinata can’t believe that Naruto even knows what a house warming party is. Nor can she fathom letting Naruto see what kind of apartment she was renting. She can only imagine what kind of house he lives in now, and would be beyond mortified for him to know what she’s had to sink to.

Not that she isn’t proud of where she’s come. How far she’s been able to go. But in the grand scheme of things, she’s still almost some thirty-year-old women, going through a mid-life crisis, and just now branching out on their own. Naruto had been taking care of himself since he was old enough to get out of the foster care system. 

He had gone so much further in life.

Hinata was a fledgling baby bird, just spreading her wings. 

From: Hinata Hyūga

To: Naruto U. Namikaze

Thank you so much.

Gifts are unnecessary. 

That was the nicest way she knew how to rebuff his advances.

From: Naruto U. Namikaze

To: Hinata Hyūga

I have some **cough cough** business questions. 

Wanna meet for dinner and further discuss?

;)

Hinata ignores this one too, but it does make her smile. How did his keyboard not autocorrect wanna?

There is no time to entertain Naruto, and whatever he was trying to accomplish by attempting to spend any amount of extra time with her. Hinata does her best to end her week at Hyūga Hotels and double, triple and quadruple checks the warehouse and their cataloging system. Hinata and Ino both agreed that knowing absolutely everything about their products and their exact location in the warehouse would only heighten efficiency when the time came for the business to actually be up and running.

And that time had come.

The website was going live that Saturday, and Ino had been publicizing on every social media outlet that Hinata had heard of and a some she didn’t even know. She had hyped up a pretty decent following, and Hinata just hoped that those numbers would correlate to dollar signs. It was one thing to have people interested, a completely different thing for them to actually be paying customers. 

Hinata could only sit back and find out.

The launch party that Ino had planned, didn’t seem as daunting as Hanabi’s engagement party.

The only people there were ones Hinata had grown up with, had known intimately at one point. Old friends, and Ino’s family members that she recognized from previous birthdays at the Yamanaka house. Nobody had questioned the sparkling apple cider in her plastic flute. She was making easy conversation with Kurenai, Mirai, Shino and Kiba.

Admittedly, Hinata had slunk back to the group that she was far and beyond most familiar with, but being in this kind of crowd and feeling as at ease as she was, well, she wasn’t questioning it.

Hinata was comfortable.

“What the fuck?” Kiba spit suddenly.

Hinata jerked back on instinct, dropping her flute. It didn’t break, only made a barely audible ‘doink’ as it bounced on the concrete, splashing the sparkling juice on her heels. Her hands came up defensively near her chest and she took a step back. Half of her was embarrassed by this ridiculous display. The other half was physically shaking in fear. Rationally, she knew Kiba would never hurt her.

He wasn’t going to hurt her.

He wasn’t. 

She whimpered. 

“How could you fucking invite them?” His eyes rounded on her, blazing.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Shino take step towards him, hands up, trying to warn him. 

“W-w-w-w-w” She couldn’t get her lips to form the words. What was he talking about?

“Kiba.” Kurenai hissed.

Kiba was not looking at any of them. His eyes were focused somewhere over Hinata and Mirai’s head, but Hinata couldn’t keep her eyes off her friend. The threat. The predator. 

Hands wrapping around her throat. Glass cutting through her neck and scalp. A sharp slap to her cheek bone. Hands gripping her shoulders so tight they left bruise marks. Falling down the stairs – no, being pushed. Laying in the bathtub while some screamed above her. Her eyes squeezed tight, silently sobbing, imagining she’s anywhere else. Lying in bed, shaking after he had sex with her. Because they definitely didn’t have sex together. Is it rape if she didn’t say no? It’s easier to just lay there and stay quiet, she didn’t want to fight him. A couple drinks, a couple pills, and she couldn’t even feel his fingers sliming over her.

Choking. She’s choking. She can’t breathe.

Why did you make me hurt you Hinata? Do you want me to get in trouble? You made me do it Hinata. I don’t want to hurt you.

“I-I-I’m s-sorry.” She finally manages to choke out.

Kiba finally looks at her and freezes, the situation finally dawning on him. “Holy fuck, Hina-”

“Hi-na-ta.” 

The warm, raspy voice washes over Hinata. In high school, it calmed her like the soothing ocean waves. Now, if she could become any more hyperaware, any more like a cat with every hair follicle raised, any readier to shatter into hundreds and thousands of pieces, that voice would just about do it. 

She still can’t quite piece together what had made Kiba so upset. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Naruto, who has arrived late as usual, flanked by Sasuke, a girl on his arm. 

Fizzing, bubbling. Her nerves feel shot, shaky. She needs air. She barely manages a quick wave, at least acknowledging Naruto, and makes a quick exit.

Her arms are still shaking as she tries to wrap them around herself. Her therapist mentioned something about the pressure being soothing. Comforting. A self hug. Trying not to dwell on the thought that there was nobody else around to hug her, and trying to reframe it as an empowering kind of mood.

It wasn’t really working.

Most days, it was easy to push thoughts of Toneri out of her head. He didn’t dominate her thoughts like he had ten or eleven months ago. With work and time, she’s been able to avoid him in her mind. The symptoms he’d left behind were still wreaking havoc most days. Anxiety, insomnia. Those things she was trying to fix herself with work and packing her day planner full till the last second. 

But every now and then, it was like he was back, at the forefront of her mind, like he never left. Like she never left him. His cold, calculating stare. His employees, basically puppets, head down, pretending nothing was going on. Countless ruined dinners. Hundreds of sleepless nights. Drinking, taking pills to make anything a little more bearable. 

Even worse.

Sometimes Hinata remembered memories that weren’t bad. Times when she could’ve considered herself happy. Toneri getting her the book she wanted randomly on his way home from work. Him taking her on business trips. Buying her cinnamon rolls. Taking her out to dinner. Sitting down on the couch and watching whatever she wanted on Netflix.

He wasn’t all bad, the sick part of her tried to remind her. When they had told her that he had been arrested, Hinata had asked, ‘Why?’ ‘Is he okay?’

He tried to kill you! She screams at herself, pinching her eyes tight.

“Cold?” Naruto askes casually. 

Hinata almost falls over onto the dirty ground.

He looks like he’s just come from work. His white button up is pristine and today he’s in a navy suit with a bright orange tie, reminding her a lot more of high school.

She doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The sun hasn’t started its decent yet, and it’s not particularly cold today.

But her arms are still wrapped around her, pressing her arms so tight against her chest that she’s crushing her breasts. Her body shivers. Like a human straight jacket that she belongs in. 

She shakes her head ‘no’ anyways.

Naruto rolls his eyes, giving her a little laugh. “The pride of the Hyūga, eh? I guess you couldn’t avoid it forever.”

She frowns, trying not to feel slighted. She’s already shaken up. She doesn’t need Naruto of all people cutting into her.

But, when she feels his coat ghost across her back and settle softly around her, embracing her in a sent that she doesn’t recognize as his at all, she realizes that he’s teasing her.

Always teasing.

“Sorry about Kiba.”

“You didn’t do anything.” Her voice is quiet but firm. 

Naruto has never done anything wrong in her eyes. He’s spray painted school lockers, keyed cars, got in fist fights at football games, shoplifted, cheated on tests, snuck weed onto their bus. But, Hinata has never seen his faults. Not like she’s supposed to.

“Do you know Tamaki?” He asks her.

Dread pools into Hinata’s stomach. Tamaki? Kiba’s girlfriend? Is this where Naurto tells her about his own girlfriend, that he has to be stashing away? You can’t be that kind, that beautiful, that successful without one. She’s missed her chance. Again. 

Chance? There’s no chance. There’s no… nothing. She can’t date. She’s not ready. She just burst into tears because one of her close, personal friends raised his voice a couple octaves. 

She’s not even divorced yet!!

“Kiba’s girlfriend?” She asks weakly, after a long, awkward pause.

Naruto tilts his head back up to the sky, hiding his smile from her. He’s trying not to laugh. Hinata can feel her face flush red hot, and she looks back to the dirty road. 

“Um, Tamaki is now technically called ‘Sasuke’s Girlfriend’.” 

Hinata’s head whips back to Naruto’s.

The confusion on her face must be enough because Naruto actually does start laughing. “Yeah.” He nods, replying to her wordless questions. “Right?”

Hinata can still not wrap her head around this. She knew that Kiba and Tamaki had split, they had done so while she was still married. Well, to be fair they had split countless times. They fought like cats and dogs, which they both had an abundance of.

The girl on Sasuke arm. She must’ve been too shook up to fully recognize her, and Hinata only glanced. 

She had always liked Tamaki. She was a sweet girl, and she liked her hair cut, almost a messier version of her own. She was quieter than most girls, still chatty and made easy conversation on the few occasions that Kiba had visited Kumo while Hinata had lived there. Hinata honestly couldn’t fault Tamaki for her and Kiba’s relationship problems. Hinata intimately knew how hot headed, stubborn, blind Kiba could be.

But… Tamaki and Sasuke?

“Apparently they were childhood friends. They started dating just a little bit ago. Maybe eighteen months.”

“Does Sasuke even like cats?” It’s an odd question, but not if you know Tamaki.

“He does now.” They both smile at this. 

Imagining Sasuke cuddling kittens is beyond what Hinata can currently comprehend. 

“He tries to act like they aren’t serious. She lives with him. Her names on his mailbox. Sasuke and Tamaki Uchiha. ‘Fuck off Naruto, were just dating.’” He ends with his best, sassy Uchiha impression.

Hinata actually laughs out loud. The whole idea is absurd. But it reminds her so much of high school that she can practically feel the adolescence surround her.

“Speaking of dating,” 

Hinata tenses again.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Naruto pokes her in the stomach.

She looks at him incredulously. They’re adults. You cannot just poke an adult woman in the stomach. Is this how he acts at the embassy? Just childishly poking his female employees?

Her wrapped arms, which have loosened considerably during their chat, lower to protect her stomach from further protrusions from this gigantic man-child.

“I’m not avoiding you.”

Since poking her in the stomach, Naruto ignored her shock and affronted expression in lieu of un-cuffing his sleeves and rolling them up, revealing tanned, toned, muscular forearms. 

“Psht.” He dismisses her excuse. “I’ve emailed you like a bajillion times. Believe it.”

He reaches up and tugs his tie loose, and unbuttons the top two or three buttons, freeing his neck. A neck that seems wider than his high school senior neck had seemed in that basketball uniform. It’s tan, just as tan as he always was. He catches her eye, smirking and she looks away quickly, trying to formulate her response.

But words are just so hard in the presence of Naruto Uzumaki’s clavicles. 

Namikaze. She chides internally. 

She clears her throat. “That’s for business.”

“The non-business emails, Hyūga.” He chides her, playfully.

She bites her lips, unable to look at him.

“You are currently a lender in a business that I am a joint owner of. Do you not think that it would be inappropriate to go on a date?”

She can see Naruto out of the corner of her eye finally look away from her. His hand awkwardly comes up to rub the back of his head, blonde spikes immediately popping up from the simple brush. She wonders how much gel it takes to get them to look presentable and professional enough for work.

“Can’t an old friend just want to catch up?” Naruto rounds back on her, his eyes catching her’s again so fast that Hinata can’t pretend she wasn’t ogling him. 

The warehouse door slams open so fast that Hinata flinches and a little ball of blonde smashes against Naruto’s navy clad legs. 

“Dad!” 

Shinachiku smiles up at his father with a scarily familiar face. Naruto smiles back down at his son, ruffling the shaggy blonde locks of the little boy. 

Hinata has seen Shinachiku a few times now, always flanked by the Yamanka and Nara boys. He’s a well-mannered child, at least for Naruto’s son. She hasn’t ever had a full conversation with him, just seeing him in passing, either running outside or nose deep in a Nintendo DS. 

“Sorry, he heard you were out here and dashed.” Sakura is standing in the doorway, looking awkwardly between Naruto and Hinata, trying to have some precedence of nonchalance.

The only thing keeping Hinata from feeling like she’s fallen straight back into high school is the kindergartener who is still attached to his father. 

“That’s fine.” Naruto replies without looking up at his ex-wife. “He’s just excited about DAD’S HOUSE!” 

Hinata flinches away from the yell, but gives a soft smile when the little blonde giggles. “Yeah, Dad’s house!” 

“That is so weak Shina. We gotta work on that enthusiasm. Believe it.”

Sakura groans, but clearly used to this display. “Hinata,” She smiles, acting like she’s just now noticed the other woman standing directly next to ex-husband. 

Wearing his jacket.

“The website looks amazing.” Sakura smiles.

“Thank you.”

Hinata takes this opportunity to shrug Naruto’s coat off and rejoin the party inside. 

Kiba is gone. Shino and Kurenai both apologize in his behalf but Hinata cuts them off, bulldozing her own apologies over their own. 

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” She cuts off any further discussion about it.


	5. Chapter 5

Unsurprisingly, it was much easier for Hinata to manage one job.

This came with pros and cons. 

Being able to devote all of her time to the warehouse and the clothing line was refreshing. Especially since Hinata had spent so much time getting everything ready before the launch, they were far ahead of their written plans. 

Working with Ino was also a wild time. Something that Hinata wasn’t used to, recently. Jamming all of her time with work at her father’s company was a quiet, serious affair. Now, spending most of her time with Kurenai, Mirai and Shino’s more quiet personalities, Ino was like jumping in a cold lake.

Not that she minded. She had spent all of high school voluntarily with Ino and the rest of their crazy group. 

She was also finding that Ino’s constant babbling was therapeutic in and of itself.

Being alone, Hinata had figured out an easy and full proof way for almost complete distraction from her desolate memories and crippling fears; pod casts. Hinata listened to workout podcasts, small business podcasts, ones on meditation and healthy living. Sometimes, when she got desperate to just fill her apartment, or the warehouse when Ino was absent, was listened to opinion podcasts of people just talking or arguing about various topics, sometimes about things Hinata hadn’t even heard of.

Though usually, when Ino was at the warehouse, they just listening to music and talked. Hinata didn’t really mind. It did the same job of keeping her occupied.

“Inojin, Shikadai and Shinachiku keep getting in trouble at school. So much like us, huh?”

It’s an awkward question, Ino making some kind of connection to herself, Shikamaru, Sakura and Naruto. But Hinata catches the ‘us’ in the sentence. ‘Does she mean me too?’ Hinata knows that she probably doesn’t. Hinata hardly got into any of their escapades in high school unless she was just getting detention by association. And none of the boys are her kids. 

You don’t have any kids. She reminds herself. Bitterly.

“Oh no, I hope it’s not too serious.” Hinata settles for. 

Ino flips her blonde ponytail. “Oh, nothing too bad. Really, they’re good boys. But it’s getting hard to discipline them when they just get to come home and hang out together after school.”

Hinata nodded, not knowing how else to keep the conversation going. 

“I usually watch them after school, as you know.” Ino continues, unbothered by Hinata’s conversational ineptness. “Temari and Shikamaru have his mom and Kankurō to help with Shikadai but Sakura and Naruto work so many hours. And her parents are getting pretty old. I just feel bad.”

Hinata nodded. She imagined it was hard to find a babysitter when you were Naruto Namikaze. She could feel her cheeks heat up just thinking about him. She didn’t need this kind of head ache right now. 

“Oh, hey!” Ino started again. “There’s this new coat coming out for next fall. Remember, the ones I wanted to talk to you about.” 

Ino had been packaging orders in poly-bags ready to be shipped, but she popped up next to Hinata at the sewing machine, startling her off the stool.

“Oh, well of course.” Hinata nodded after calming down and mustering some composure. “You can talk to me about anything. But, you know I’m not much help with the fashion.”

“Oh, come on Hinata. You never give yourself any credit. You pick great stuff. But no, it’s just…”

Ice cold water was being poured down Hinata’s nerves, chilling her to the bone. Her muscles locked. She had done something wrong, inevitably. She had made Ino angry. She had been too pushy. She hadn’t worked hard enough. She wasn’t sure what she had one, but it was something, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it? 

“What, what’s w-wrong?” She flinched. Stuttering. 

He doesn’t like it when you stutter!

Ino’s laugh cut through the horrific inner monologue. “Nothing. Nothing. Calm down.” 

Hinata blanched, mortified. Her cheeks burned a bright blush with her shame. 

“It’s just,” Ino continued. “The coats are heavier and will be a higher cost item. Plus, they’re manufactured out of Tetsu no Kuni.”

Tetsu no Kuni? The Land of Iron. Probably the most foreign place compared to Hi no Kuni, or any of their surrounding countries. Their customs were completely different than most of the surrounding continent. Hinata had never been there, not young with her father, nor with Toneri or working for Hyūga Hotels. It wasn’t a place someone normally went on vacation. Plus, there was a language barrier. 

“Okay.” Hinata spoke slowly. 

“I’m almost a hundred percent certain that they’ll be a top seller. I’m seeing them everywhere on blogs for next year.”

Hinata nodded, cautiously. She trusted Ino’s judgements on clothing full heartedly, but it was up to her to run the numbers. 

“I know, I know.” Ino put her hands up defensively. “I’m not the numbers chick. I know. But from what I’ve guessed, it should still be well within your stipulated margins.”

Hinata moved to turn to her computer, ancient and slow as it was. She had time. She could pull up her spread sheet right then. As always, sending a thanks to Shikamaru and his ‘software’ (Google Docs spreadsheets) that Hinata was sure Ino had forced him to make, she started punching in the numbers.’’

“Ino, are you sure?” Hinata tried to ask as politely as possible. “These numbers seem too good to be true.”

“I know, right? Yes, those are the figures. I had rounded in my head, and you know how that goes sometimes.” She laughed. “But, the thing I thought what you might get hung up on is the upfront cost.”

Hinata nodded, jotting that down into the notes column.

“And, that it’s in Tetsu no Kuni, with a manufacturer we have no previously established relationship with.”

She added that to the cons list. 

“But just look at that end profit. Just look, Hinata.” Ino said, with almost manic glee.

Hinata didn’t have to look. She could hardly tear her eyes off them. Her heart swelled with the kind of hope that Hinata was not accustomed to. Like watching those Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes commercials, or HGTV Dream Home giveaway. The kind of hope that said, maybe. But the doubt in the back of her mind whispering, not likely. 

The numbers were right there though. Staring her in the face. 

“With that kind of up-front cost, it’s definitely a risk. But…”

Paying back Naruto. Paying back her father. Finally owning the business. Getting out of her apartment. Buying a better computer, her sisters phone, a sewing machine that could actually keep up with the work load demands. So many things she needed to do. Possibilities for the future. Right at her finger tips.

“Can I have a look at these jackets?” Hinata asked, giving Ino a shy little smile.

The blonde squealed, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. “This is going to be so great!” 

Weekends were hard for Hinata. She tried to fill them with anything. Books on tape. Small pot gardening. She tried to do some yoga but her floors were so disgusting that she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Podcasts were always a go to, but the apartment was small, and she couldn’t go for walks on the side of town she was at. 

So, when Kiba offered to come help her with her disgusting floors, she got over how mortified she was at her life situation and accepted. 

“You can’t force me to take off my shoes.” Kiba peered into her apartment with a look of disgust.

Hinata nodded, sympathetically. She had ruined her fair share of white ankle socks in the few weeks. 

“You said we were going to polish. Don’t you need to clean them first?” He asked again, still not making a move to step over the threshold.

Hinata waved him in and pointed to the corner of her room where the “kitchen” began. A frayed broom and a bent Swiffer stood, leaning against each other in the corner. 

Kiba sighed to himself dramatically. “Dear god.”

Hinata tried to refrain from sighing too. One of the podcasts had suggested against it. A whole hour and fifteen-minute talk on a ‘Fake It Till You Make It’ message. Hinata was pretty accustomed to faking things in her own right. Still waiting for the ‘make it’ part. 

They had spent all day polishing her floor, and had managed only one corner of the room. Hinata was wearing her old lounge clothes, the ones Ino wouldn’t catch her dead in. They had been ruined anyways by the filth that her floor held. 

“I will never be clean again.” Hinata giggled so she didn’t sound as sad as she felt, looking down at dirt stained hands.

Her and Kiba were shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, sharing the only clean (using the word loosely) corner of her studio. Kiba laughed, hitting his head against the wall.

“Well, not with that shower you have in that closet.” He sneered.

Hinata let the jab roll off her. She was used to people scrutinizing her living. Usually, it was people trying to downplay the lavishness out of jealousy. The same technique applied. Ignore it, or embrace with humor.

“What is even growing at the bottom of your shower?” It was the third time mentioning it since he had asked to use her bathroom.

Hinata shrugged. “I just make sure to shower with flip flops and try not to think about it.”

Kiba shivered comedically and mumbled something about not even letting his dog go in there.

Hinata let out a slow breath and tried to ‘take in the moment’. Another podcast suggestion. Her apartment is cramped but (besides the floor) cleaned to an almost OCD level. Her bed is made as tight and pristine as the ones in her father’s hotels. Her clothes are folded all in the exact same way, facing the same way. She didn’t have many trinkets any ways, she brought nothing with her from Kumo to Konoha, but the small amount she did have stowed away in her father’s house that she had brought to the apartment was neatly tucked away in the top drawer of her dresser. 

It was mainly things from high school. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to go through them, besides packing them to be moved. The few glances she had taken had filled her heart with more hurt than she had felt in a long while. A time when she was happy, surrounded by family and friends. She thought, that maybe with Kiba, she would be able to go through it, but looking at the dresser now, it didn’t seem likely.

“So, what do you have for food?” He interrupted the silence.

Hinata shrugged, her shoulder moving against his. “Kurenai and Mirai took me to that farmer’s market and-”

“Oh, fuck no. Did she talk you into that crazy ass vegan mumbo-jumbo shit.? For the love of god, no.” 

Hinata tried not to snort at Kiba’s dramatics. Yes, Kurenai had talked her into a plant-based diet for the time being. She wasn’t a die-hard vegan, at least not yet. It was just nice to go to Farmer’s Markets and shop with Kurenai and Mirai. There also happened to be more than a couple vegan podcasts. Apparently, they didn’t mind chatting about being vegan, for hours, endlessly. 

Because she wasn’t a 100% solid vegan, she didn’t mind eating other things. Cinnamon rolls and other desserts would never be replaced in her heart. 

“We could order something.” Hinata suggests. 

She avoids Kiba’s rather pointed questioning.

They both look straight ahead to her tiny kitchen that can’t even fit a table. It looks dingy, no matter how much bleach Hinata had used in it. She only has a dining set for four, and four bowls, plates, cups, spoons, forks and knives were all clean and put into her meager cabinets. Not a single dish was dirty. The only thing left out on her counter is an aloe plant curtsey of Ino, as a house warming gift. She had given it to her after getting the ones for the warehouse, from the podcast that mentioned plants helped boost production and creativity.

Finally, she relented. “Or, we could go out.” 

Kiba finally nods. “That’s the best thing you’ve said since I got here.”

Hinata manages to clean herself up and puts on a pair of skinny jeans and a silk camisole with a sweater that is Ino approved. It’s from their online store and has sewn on pearls that make Hinata feel like a gaudy grandmother but didn’t question when Ino practically rolled into the next dimension about how they brought out her eyes.

“You look like a milf.” Kiba laughs as they walk out to the bus stop.

Milf. 

No, she wasn’t anybody’s mother. Nor was she particularly ecstatic at the prospected that anyone would want to fuck her. She felt old and tired and washed up. Dirty. Used. Like a couch from Good Will. Yes, it was still a couch. But not a couch you actually wanted. Even at its discount price.

“Thanks.” She tried to say without wrinkling her nose too much.

Kiba just laughed instead and threw a lazy arm around her. The sudden gesture made her tense but she accepted his side hug. She mustered up a smile. This could’ve been easy. Easier than breathing. She remembered his constant touching in high school. They had always been just friends. He was her friend.

He was her friend.

Dinner was easy enough. The conversation sometimes veered off into the awkward when Kiba tried to talk about Hinata living in Kumo. And Hinata had almost accidently mentioned Tamaki when they had seen a street cat on their walk. But other than tiptoeing around conversational landminds, nothing she wasn’t used to honestly, it was a pleasant time.

“Oh, hey. That’s a bar that the guys and I go to sometimes.”

Hinata looked over at Kiba through narrowed eyes. It wasn’t too chilly outside but there was a small breeze ruffling through the crowded streets. 

“How convenient.” Hinata’s lips pursed.

“Why don’t we just pop in?” Kiba sang, threading his arm through hers.

Bars. Drinking. She’s not supposed to be. Her self-imposed sobriety was honestly a thin thread tethering her to sanity. Reality. 

She doesn’t know how to explain this to Kiba without sounding crazy. He wouldn’t understand. 

Instead, Hinata tries to take a deep breath of the muggy, cigarette smoky, polluted city air and does what she does best. Puts on her fake smile and allows him to drag her inside. 

The bars air wasn’t much better and Hinata just ordered a diet coke. She took a seat at the bar, trying to ignore the pounding, dubstep blaring through the place.

Kiba had quickly abandoned Hinata at the bar in favor of grinding upon some poor, lost soul with the body of a very fit, young twenty something.

Honestly, Hinata couldn’t blame him. Kiba was a dog, always had been. And no matter how many times Kiba told her she looked like a milf, she couldn’t be competing with actual youth and the sickening optimistic enthusiasm that lacking life experiences held.

No, Hinata was content enough with her pessimistic, almost thirty-year-old body, Botox being the only saving grace keeping her from frown lines. Though, soon the fillers would fade with her new found destitute lifestyle. Not that she needed them anymore. She wasn’t a rich CEO’s trophy wife, avoiding the occasional paparazzi photos. Not that very many people cared about her in Kumo, rich men weren’t that interesting, but every now and then, being the former heiress of a multi-millionaire and getting caught with a black eye out and about had raised some question a handful of times. 

If she was getting photographed with a shiner that needed some serious explanation by Toneri’s PR agent, at least she wouldn’t have wrinkles to go along with it. 

The Hyūga had always been prone to crow’s feet, as well. Unfortunately for her. And dark veins around her eyes. She sighed.

Hinata took another sip of diet coke and contemplated walking to the bus stop alone, not knowing the route times, or if she had enough money in her account to get an Uber.

“Hi-na-ta.” A raspy voice cut across the bass of whatever pop song was thumping through the club.

Her fingers tightened around her glass, almost afraid to look over. Not that she could stop herself from seeing him.

Tall. He was so tall. And, broad? When did he get shoulders like that? He looked dressed for the club, black button down shirt, expensive jeans. She was really regretting her mom-sweater right now. 

She was also regretting spotting him next to a tall red head woman.

Hinata swallowed and nodded, trying to smile in his direction. 

Naruto had slid into the seat next to her, abandoning the girl.

“I didn’t know that you went out much?” He spoke cheerfully as the bartender slid him another drink.

Hinata shook her head, trying not to look over at the poor, dejected girl. She knew those feelings intimately, having once been the object of Naruto’s rejection. It was harder than most. Being in Naruto’s light was an amazing feeling, like having a warm quilt to curl up with or a hot chocolate on a cold day. Naruto was special, even when they were young, and having his attention made whomever have it feel special.

Not Hinata. Not anymore. 

“I don’t.” There was no elaboration.

Naruto laughed anyways, never deterred. “And yet, here you are.” He gestured to her, looking down her whole body as he did, then smirking and bringing his beer to his lips.

She nodded, cheeks burning as she shifted on her bar stool.

Naruto hummed to himself when Hinata didn’t give a reply. “So, Ino tells me you’re a total workaholic.”

He’s mentioned this before. At Hanabi and Konohamaru’s engagement party. This always leaves room to interpret what him and Ino actually talk about involving her. Neither Ino or Naruto should know about what her divorce entails. In fact, to both of them, think she’s already divorced. But this is only in theory. Hinata actually had no clue what either of them could possibly know. 

Hanabi and her father had come to Kumo when she still had a breathing tube and kept unconscious, liable to have panic attacks the reopened the stitches zigzagging through her hair. Hanabi was there every time she had been interviewed for statements, and had was there to drive her to her first few court dates. But she wasn’t there to listen to all of her many testimonies. Though she knew there had to be more than one incident.

This is where Hinata suspects the largest leak. Hanabi. She had no clue what Hanabi divulges to her fiancé, not that she could hold her to that. But its Konohamaru’s connection to Naruto that also poses the question. Naruto could know much more than the ‘nothing’ she previously thought.

Kurenai and Shino only know tiny details of her divorce. The fact that it’s currently ongoing. They don’t know the specifics of her abuse either but they didn’t see her until she came home. She was still a shaking mess, with therapy appointments every week. She at least confided in them on those fronts. Kiba, the loud mouth, wasn’t given much information except for a bad divorce. But if either Kurenai or Shino slipped any information to Kiba, it could’ve spread to anyone. Everyone.

She honestly doesn’t have the faintest idea on what Naruto knows about her, and what he doesn’t.

He laughs when her face scrunches on its own. “Hey, me too.” He waves off her embarrassment. “It just seems weird coming from you, so like your dad. I didn’t except it.”

Hinata shrugged, grabbing a bar peanut just so she had something in her hands to fiddle with. “Seems like you don’t know me very well.”

As soon as she said it, she cringed. Why would she provoke him like that? He was just trying to make conversation with her. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He never did anything wrong.

Instead of getting mad, like she expected, Naruto just slowly nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

She glances over at him in surprise. It’s pathetic, how shocked she is that he isn’t angry when provoked. Moments like this solidify how low she’s truly fallen. Just expecting for someone to freak out at her left and right. 

Naruto’s not like that though, never has been.

His face had gone serious, making him look like a stranger too.

His blonde hair while not smoothed down like she had grown used to, it stuck up just as unruly as it had when they were younger. Though his hair was much shorter than back then. It looked spiky, but she knew from experience that his hair was downy soft like a baby chick. His clothes were nicer than they were back then, and his face was lean and carved, shoulders muscled and rounded. 

He was an adult now. A man. 

She wasn’t a little girl anymore, either.

“I’m sorry.” Hinata looked down and crushed the peanut husk with her fingers.

Hinata might’ve been a grown woman herself now, but she felt like a little girl. The same girl that had loved and admired the man sitting next to her for as long as she could remember. Even after all the years that had separated the old her and this new, broken version, it almost felt like no time had passed. They could’ve been back in high school homeroom, and it would’ve felt just as unattainable. 

Hinata wanted to go home.

“No need for apologies Hinata, sheesh.” Naruto laughed, popping his own peanut in his mouth. “Why not just hang out with me sometime? I mean, if you can stomach Kiba, imagine how much fun you’d have with me.”

The smirk he was giving her, the one with the dimple, was so beautiful that it hurt. Hinata’s chest clenched uncomfortably and for the first time since she had been home from Kumo, she wished that her drink was alcoholic. 

It would be so much nicer to just loosen up and actually be able to enjoy being around Naruto. 

“Maybe.” Hinata, mulled the words around in her head, trying to hold them down but letting them tumble around instead. “Maybe you should check on your date.”

As much as she liked hearing Naruto suggest them spending time together, she can’t let her heart runaway in some stupid fantasy. She had to stay in the present. Reality was, Naruto was here with a girl. 

“Date? Pshht.” He spit, leaning back on his bar stool. “Mei might be the Mizukage but she’s straight up crazy. I’m just doing Kakashi a favor by bringing her out here. Plebs like Kiba troll this place so this was the best bar I could think of to get her off my back.”

Hinata takes a moment to process this information. A kage, crawling around some seedy bar looking for a hook-up? It seemed silly. About as silly as Naruto being an Ambassador. But she had always seen his potential. Hinata guessed it was always weird seeing people of high standings being… normal? Or at least not as elevated as they were portrayed. 

But Hinata should’ve known.

A multi-billion-dollar CEO of Kumo used to beat his wife for years and nobody even noticed. 

You can never go off of first impressions. 

“Are you excited for the wedding?” Naruto decided to switch the conversation.

Hinata isn’t drunk. Her brain feels slow though and it takes her a couple seconds to figure out what Naruto is even talking about. 

Yes, she was excited for the wedding. The very next day she would be trying on dresses with her sister. Which had turned into an all too easy excuse to leave after that. 

Being invited to Hanabi’s dress appointment was a huge milestone in Hinata’s mind. Pushing her sister out for years, had been one of her biggest regrets. Also basically allowing her sister to take care of her had also felt damaging to their sister dynamic. Hinata being the older one. She was supposed to be there and take care of Hanabi.

But somehow, in some hidden grace, Hanabi had asked for the chance to cultivate that bond again. 

The only other person that Hanabi had deemed close enough to allow in her wedding was her childhood friend Moegi, who looked none too happy to have Hinata tagging along. 

They were in one of, if not the most, upscale wedding dress shop in downtown. Hinata was wearing a silk, hand painted spaghetti strap dress and heels, feeling uncomfortable just trying to work the dress as much as possible, trying to put a good name out for her and Ino’s brand.

It was hours of tediously going through white dress after white dress. Hanabi was only accepting the best, but Hinata’s was more than willing to go through with it. 

“Hana,” Hinata stood close to her little sister, appraising the dress she was pulling up, almost parallel to the floor. 

“Hmm?” Hanabi glanced over her shoulder, tossing messy hair over her shoulder.

Hinata glanced around to see if Moegi and her sourpuss face was anywhere near or if she was harassing the attendant for more champagne. Not seeing the redhead’s pigtails in sights, she proceeded, though still shifting on her heels, playing with her fingers self-consciously. 

“What do you think,” She paused mulling the words around her head, wondering if this was even a good idea. 

Talking about Naruto with Hanabi was inviting future conversations on the subject. Things that Hinata wasn’t ready for.

She had been dying to know, though. 

“What do you think Naruto knows about me?” The words were rushed, and awkward. She nearly flinched, embarrassed after getting the words out.

Hanabi, who had been waiting curiously, creased her eyebrows in visible confusion. She let go of the dress, letting it swish back to its original position. 

“What do you mean?” Her pivoted on her heels to give Hinata more of her attention, sensing her older sisters discomfort. 

“Um,” Hinata took a deep breath. “About me a-a-nd-” She swallowed down her estranged husband’s name, unable to even whisper it. 

Even to her sister.

In a wedding dress shop.

Hanabi’s mouth turned into an ‘o’, her eyes widening marginally. “Oh, that.”

Hinata bit her lip, nodding. The floral smell was starting to give her a headache.

“What, did he say something?” Hanabi crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly much more serious. The dresses were momentarily forgotten. 

Hinata shook her head quickly, her bangs shifting in her periphery. “No, no. I was just… curious.”

Hanabi nodded slowly, looking at Hinata like she was trying to suss out any deeper meaning to conversation, which is what Hinata had wanted to avoid in the first place. She honestly had just wanted to know. She had told Naruto at the airport that she was divorced, which had been a lie, and then said it wasn’t amicable, which wasn’t exactly a lie. But, if Hanabi, or more likely, Konohamaru, had mentioned something else… She at least wanted to know. Just to be aware of what Naruto could be perceiving about her. 

It might make Naruto’s motives a little easier to read as well. 

“I didn’t tell Kono too much.” Hanabi admitted. “And I swore him to secrecy. I told him it was between sister.”

There’s so much nostalgia and innocence in that old phrase that Hinata can’t stop from smiling. 

“So, what else do you need to know about Naruto?” Hanabi asks, singing his name around, sassing her head left and right.

Hinata’s cheeks flushed as she tried to keep her mouth from gaping open. “That is not what we are you for, missy!” She sputtered, grabbing her sister by the shoulders and turning her back to the wedding dresses. The true task at hand.

Her heart infinitely fuller.

Naruto didn’t know anything. It wasn’t about pitty. He just wanted to spend time with her?

She bit her lip, smiling when Hanabi grasped one of the dresses, looking at it with more hope than the countless others she had dismissed after a glance. Things were really looking up. The business, with Ino’s genius new coat find. Naruto. Her sisterhood with Hanabi. Hinata could keep the ridiculous smile off her face.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm so sorry for bothering you again on your lunch break."

Ino shot Hinata a glare. It isn't the first time that Hinata had apologized.

Shikamaru gave a deep sigh messaging the bridge of his nose. "I'm sure you weren't behind this scheduling."

Ino threw her head back, scoffing.

Hinata had been to the Capital Building in Konoha on field trips when they were younger. She was familiar with the massive, brown building. As a child, it had seemed so powerful. Now, the drab structure was almost underwhelming.

The only overwhelming part of the building now, was that Naruto worked inside.

Her stomach clenched. She really, really did not want to run into him here. It felt like an invasion of privacy. This was his space. She did belong here in it. Mucking it up. Luckily, they had made it to Shikamaru's office without incident.

But the stress of perhaps bothering Naruto, and taking up Shikamaru's personal time was wearing on Hinata's already threadbare nerves.

"I still think you should've got an actual lawyer to draft this." Shikamaru's voice was heavy, and sounded just as exasperated but somehow more gravely than she remembered.

Age or cigarettes? Both?

"Oh my god, Shika. We don't need a lawyer. You don't even know how many manufacturers we deal with on a daily basis." Ino said.

"Tetsu no Kuni isn't a first world country, Ino." Shikamaru snapped. He yawned, his head tilting back, his slick ponytail almost brushing the wall behind him. He blinked his eyes quickly, trying to wake himself back up. "They speak a foreign language. I used google-translate."

"Maybe he's right, Ino." Hinata tried to press.

"Jesus Christ, I thought you were doing yoga." Ino snapped.

Hinata paused, trying to think back through the conversation in her mind. Checking where she could've got so lost in this topic change.

"How can you be so tense still? Shikamaru is a genius. We do this, all day, every day. You guys just like to worry about nothing."

Shikamaru just shook his head, exhaling deeply, tapping away at his keyboard. "Fine then. Do what you want. But don't come running to me if this doesn't work out. "

Ino didn't even look up at him, slunk down into her chair, examining her manicure. "You and Hina both are 'Debbie-Downers'. Have you guys considered group yoga classes. You need them."

Shikamaru stood from his desk, half-heartedly brushing the wrinkles out of his white button up. "I need a lot of things, but I'm not sure that's one of them."

The meeting was much easier after that. Shikamaru had gone over the proposal with them again as best as he could, cautioning them again through Ino's constant dismissals. Hinata couldn't stop thanking him and apologizing.

"You really don't have to walk us out." Hinata tried to press. "You've already helped us so much."

He shrugged his shoulder, too lazy to actually wave her off with his hand.

"Oh please." Ino scoffed. "Stop giving him so much credit. He's probably just going to take a smoke break."

"No worries Hinata." Shikamaru continued like he hadn't heard Ino at all. "This place is a hell hole, and any vulture will stop and derail you."

A turn down the hallway had them happen right upon Konohamaru Sarutobi, standing awkwardly in an open doorway, holding a pile of paperwork.

"Ahh, there's one right there." Shikamaru smirked.

Konohamaru smiled, greeting Hinata. "Hey, how was dress shopping?"

There's a snort from inside of the office that he was standing in. "Very funny," It's that deep, raspy voice that Hinata couldn't forget even if she wanted to. "I'm not falling for that."

Hinata doesn't know what he means by that, but hearing Naruto already has her flustered. "Um," She tries to swallow down her stuttering. "It was really nice."

Konohamaru looked smug, smirking a little too victoriously than the greetings called for. Her feet slowed marginally, stalling her. Perhaps she said something stupid?

"What the fu-?" She could hear Naruto again.

"I hope Hana wasn't handful." Konohamaru spoke, biting the inside of his cheeks, and Hinata desperately hoped she was not the butt of some inside joke. "She said that you were really helpful. More than Mo-"

Konohamaru was knocked back, stumbling lightly out of the way by a bewildered Naruto. He just looked at her, shocked, like she shouldn't be there. Which, she shouldn't. Not really. Not at his place of work. What must he think of her being there? Stalking him? Following him around like some pathetic creep? She swallowed down bile.

"Hinata!" Naruto straightened up, tugging his charcoal suit coat straight. "What are you doing here?"

Her mouth felt disconnected from her brain, not that the inner screaming would've been helpful, externally.

"Whoa, Naruto." Ino drowned next to her, nonplused, unimpressed. "Smooth."

Naruto made a face, a small, little sneer and glare at Ino. Everything about Konoha that made Hinata feel like a pathetic seventeen-year-old was, now, outrageously funny. How could Naruto be exactly the same as she had remembered him?

"We're just here to get some help from Shikamaru." She tried to explain, hoping it would convey that she wasn't stalking him.

"Wow, Hi-na-ta." Naruto whistles. "You seek Shikamaru out instead of me? Wow. Woooow."

"Oh, stuff it you idiot." Ino's eyes roll out of this century. "Unless you somehow learned a foreign language and can help us out with this Iron Country proposal then you can shove those 'wow's up your Armani clad ass."

Naruto frowns. "First, rude. Second, I'm flattered you think this is Armani."

"It is Armani, you boujee asshole." She sneered. "I could spot that brand a mile away. Plus, I was with Sak when she got it for you. You ain't foolin' no one with you lil' small town boy attitude." She snaps, smirking like she's just won their mini-argument.

Hinata looks down, awkwardly when Sakura was mentioned. Yes, Hinata. He has an ex-wife. She used to be your friend.

Naruto just gave her a leveled glare. "Can you, just, go… away?"

Hinata looked back and noticed that Shikamaru had already slunk away, failing at his self-stated purpose of keeping them away from any distractions on their way out of the building.

Ino sniffs. "Come on, Hinata."

Naruto caught her wrist before Hinata can even look back up. "Wait?" He asks her.

Hinata looked to Ino like a child, asking permission from her mother. Instead Ino is already rolling her eyes, tossing her bag over her shoulder, swishing her blonde hair this way and that and practically cat walking away from her.

"Do you want to go to lunch?" Naruto asks, as casually as possible.

Or maybe it was just a casual question.

Hinata's body was not reacting to it casually. She could feel his hand around her wrist, really feel it. His skin against hers. It's a loose hold. She could snatch her had away in a moment. He wasn't holding her back. Just a casual grasp. But he hadn't let go.

She can feel the rejection on the tip of her lips. The sweet, swift dismissal that she only seems to have for him now.

"Come on, I know this really cool place." He smiled.

His eyes sparkle.

All she has to do is say it. No. She's said it enough times since they become reacquainted. It's almost easy now. To reject him.

Except, she doesn't.

Lunch was weird. Weirder when they had just met up for ramen.

There was a reason then. They had met, for the business. She had brought a portfolio and everything. But, now…

"You have to balance it, just so."

Naruto had taken off his suit jacket, slung it over the back of the dingy booth seat. His tie was loosened and his sleeves were rolled up, revealing tan, muscled forearms. He had arm up, elbow balanced on the table, hand out towards. On the tip of his middle finger, was a spoon.

"You practice this a lot?" Hinata giggled.

Naruto started at her, perfectly straight faced. "Oh, believe it."

Her laugh breaks his façade and she could see his lips twitch into a grin. "Pay attention, come on you're not even trying."

She glanced down at the spoon, still on her napkin, then back up to Naruto. "Where did you learn this… skill?"

"Shinachiku and I do it when we come here." Naruto smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Pretty nifty, huh?"

Hinata nodded, quietly smiling. "Nifty."

"Hinata!" He scolded.

He dropped the spoon on the table, letting it clatter, unbothered as he reached across and grabbed her arm from her side.

"Wha-" She gasped, feeling his hand on her wrist, pulling it up on the table.

"Come on, you're not even trying." He scolded, smirking.

She could feel his hands, slide down her clothed arm, feel how hot they were compared to herself. He took her hand in his, opening her fingers out flat. She could feel the imprint of his fingers, like molten lava.

"Okay," He mumbled, letting his hand rest under hers, in his palm. He picked up his dropped spoon and laid it in the tip on her finger. "Like, so."

He eyed her in mock-seriousness. Or, perhaps he was serious. Either way, Hinata tried not to drop the spoon. Which was easier said than done when her whole brain had melted into goo, oozing down her insides, dropping into her arm and congealing into a puddle, laying in Naruto's large, warm, hand.

"Aye! You got it."

He smiled down at the balanced spoon, perfectly placed on her pointer finger. He let go, his hands flying away exaggeratedly, as to not disrupt the balance. Not realizing that how much she had been pressing her hand into his palm, her arm dropped an inch or too, upending the spoon.

It clattered back to the table.

"Well, you got it for a second." He laughed, one of his hands coming up to ruffle the back of his hair, but it paused, an inch from his blonde head, and just brushed that back of it down instead.

It was jelled again, making him look so much more mature. But it was quickly remedied by him snatching back up the spoon, easily putting it on the end of his own finger. "Practice makes perfect. Someday," He moved his finger up and down, letting the spoon dip up and down like a seesaw. "Perhaps, you can be as good as me."

There was a part of Hinata that was still overwhelmingly confused about spending time with Naruto. He had essentially been a stranger in her adult life when she had come back. Though through no lack of effort on Naruto's part, their encounters had either been strictly only about business, or as brief as possible.

Now, they were sitting together, in a little hole in the wall style diner, a couple blocks from Capital building.

Hinata was still wearing the too sexy of suit that Ino had donned for her in their meeting with Shikamaru. A far cry different from her sweatshirt uniform she wore in high school. Naruto also didn't look anything like when he was seventeen years old.

But the energy was the same.

Their food was brought out relatively quickly, which Hinata was thankful for. She hated the awkward feeling of floundering in the conversation, and eating was the perfect cover for her own lack of presence.

"I can't believe you became a 'salad girl'." Naruto frowned at her, chewing on a fry.

She looked at him, eyebrow raising involuntarily.

"You know," He leaned his chin forward, clearing his throat exaggeratedly, then, in the highest, shrillest octave that his normally low and raspy voice could muster, he let out; "Oh, no thanks, I'll just have a salad."

Hinata tried not to frown, pursing her lips together. "Is that supposed to be me?"

Naruto looked at her salad, accusatorily.

Hinata tried not to scoff. Really. "Kurenai is doing this new thing, and she suggested it to me. It's just plant based."

"Cinnamon rolls aren't made out of plants."

Hinata stopped, her chin tilting back a millimeter, waiting for him to elaborate on that statement.

"Remember those cinnamon rolls, at that café, next to the school?"

Naruto's words felt like a physical time machine, ripping her back at least a decade into her high school body.

She nodded, slowly, not wanting to feel dizzy. Like her axis had shifted, the ground unstable under her feet.

"They were massive. Like, just ridiculous."

Naruto laughed, and Hinata felt compelled to chime in, but hers was more awkward. Chopped up and hollow.

Just like she was.

"Only Chouji could like actually eat the whole thing." He stopped for a moment, before looking at Hinata a little more intensely. "You always shared with me."

Hinata couldn't hold his gaze anymore, having to look back down at her salad. She swallowed, nodding a little, trying to find an appropriate response and coming up lacking.

"Well, that's what you do for your friends." She finally got out.

"They were your favorite though." He pressed. "And you always gave me at least half of it."

But what was he pressing for? What did he want her to say?

She licked her lips. "I did." She finally admitted.

Naruto nodded, obviously already knowing this. "You did." He said, anyways. Unnecessarily. "You were always my nicest friend."

It was quiet for a moment, while they sat, being crushed by the weight of his words. There was so many different meanings she could take from that. Her anxiety brain would have a field day with it. Instead, she tried to find a Segway that would be appropriate, but she was the never the good one with words.

"Would you like to go back to harassing my salad?"

"I would love to." He laughed. "But like, how can you count that rabbit food as a whole meal?"

Hinata shrugged, taking a bite of a cherry tomato.

Naruto watched her chew it, as tried not to blush too obviously through her makeup.

"Here, have some of my fries." Naruto slid his plate closer in between them. "Don't worry, potatoes are plants." He winked.

She finally made her way back to the warehouse, a little after she had promised Ino she would arrive. The blonde woman was completely unbothered by her tardiness. Because even though Hinata had taken great pride into coming to work early, Ino ran a solid fifteen minutes behind the Worlds clock. She hadn't even noticed Hinata was late.

"Hinata, I honestly don't care. I don't even know what time it is." Ino rolled her eyes.

"It's a quarter after one." Hinata smiled, feeling bad for annoying Ino with her apologies.

"Oh good. I have a about an hour till I have to go pick up Inojin." She yawned after, turning back to the work laptop, rubbing one of her blue eyes.

Hinata took off her fitted suit coat and took her seat at the sewing machine. There were always alterations that needed to be made, even if they were ahead of production.

"Hey, I told you about Sakura, needing some help for Shinachiku, right?" Ino asked, a couple minutes after Hinata had started on some lace trimmed camisoles.

Hinata visibly startled, at hearing about Naruto's son.

"Um, yes?"

"I think she's going to ask you if you're available to babysit."

Hinata paled. "What?" She squeaked.

"Uhuh." Ino had not picked up on Hinata's obvious discomfort. "I suggested you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I mean, you know him. You need an excuse not to be here all night. Plus, I'd be a hundred percent more comfortable with you than some random stranger off ." Ino shrugged.

Hinata look back to the sewing machine quietly.

"Chin up, buttercup. If you don't want to do it you can just tell her no. I mean Sakura can be a bitch but-." Ino shrugged.

"No, it's not that." Hinata said, quickly. "It's just. Don't you think it might be… a little… awkward?"

"Because you're dating her ex-husband?" Ino supplied.

Hinata gasped. "W-w-what?"

Ino snorted.

"We're not dating!" She squeaked. Mortification. Humiliation. She swallowed. "We're not doing anything."

Ino looked far too smug, still not looking up from the computer screen. "You sure were awful late."

Hinata pouted, realizing that Ino was teasing her. Not wanting to play into, but feeling too uncomfortable with the gag not to defend herself, she just sighed. "Naruto and I are just friends."

If even that.

Ino's face suddenly turned more serious, her blue eyes leaving the screen to love at Hinata. "Well, either way, I'd avoid mentioning it to Sakura." She advised.

Hinata nodded, the feeling of rocks in her stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

"So, you're going to become your boyfriend's nanny?" Hanabi whispered, blowing along piece of hair out of her face.

Hinata was on her hands and knees, one leg back and the opposite arm out front, trying not to shake, baring down on her abs to keep the integrity of her foundation secure.

"He is not my boyfriend." She startled. "We're not dating."

Hanabi snorting, almost falling over.

They were in the back of a group yoga class, at an overpriced gym that Hanabi belonged to. It was all too easy for her to get a guest pass for Hinata. She had graciously asked Hinata to pick a class that she would be interested in going to. She was already doing yoga alone on her disgusting floor, off of her iPhone on YouTube, so she though a class would be more beneficial, and perhaps she could take some of the teacher's routine and put it into practice at home.

Hanabi was less incline to be silent, which was customary in most yoga classes. She was also less used to the type of muscles, the flexibility and balance that came along with the exercises. Her pony tail was doing a poor job of keeping the hair out of her eyes, her face red and sweaty, as she huffed her way through the routine.

She had kept her promise so far to Hinata, wanting to spend more time together. As sisters. Nothing made Hinata's heart warmer.

Except when they were talking about Naruto.

"I can't date him, even if I wanted to. Which I don't." She whispered.

"You," Hanabi struggled, almost falling over, before switching arms. "You don't?"

Hinata shook her head.

Her own hair was fairing much better. Her bangs were too short to fall into her eyes, unlike Hanabi's and she tied her hair into a low ponytail, still too self-conscious of her neck, and it's scaring to wear her hair any higher.

"That cannot be real." Hanabi huffed, switching again.

Hinata glanced back up at the instructor, who like Hinata, was still holding the original position firmly.

"I'm currently borrowing money from him." Hinata argued. "Plus, I'm still, technically, married."

That was all Hinata needed to say to describe the situation in vivid clarity. It wasn't that she held her marriage vows to any degree of sacred regard. But it was much easier to say that dating, with anyone, let alone the former love of her adolescence, was the most terrifying thing she could dream of.

Hanabi, being one of the only people who would really, and truly understand that situation, the best anyone could, picked up on the deeper meaning.

"Are you not ready to put yourself out there? Or are you just not ready for him?"

This time, Hinata did startle. 'What was that supposed to mean?' Was she supposed to date other people? There was nobody that came to mind. Nobody that she could imagine herself spending time with that intimately.

Or at all, really.

She was incredibly busy.

Especially considering that she was going to take on Shinachiku for a couple nights a week.

"Yes, it would just be-"

"Excuse me, in the back, it helps the group keep our vibrations up if we have an open air of silence and contemplation. Thank you. Namaste." The instructor at the front was glaring daggers at the two sisters.

Hanabi rolled her eyes, far better than she could her back into cat-cow, so Hinata did what she always did best when her little sister. "We're sorry." She took the responsibility, smiling apologetically to the room.

Nobody else seemed to care.

Hanabi didn't even wait a minute before going back to their stage whispering. "Well?"

Hinata still wasn't sure. She had no particular feelings about actually dating. Especially the early stages of dating that didn't expect too much from her. It was almost just like hanging out with friends, but more bumbling and awkward.

But imaging Naruto in the place of the unnamed man, and her stomach felt worse than her abs currently did.

She couldn't imagine herself making awkward small talk with Naruto at dinner, or going to see movies, holding clammy hands. There was too much history. Too many things had already been said, and unsaid. Even her recent lunch with him had been too… heavy. Too much.

It wasn't just lunch, yet that's exactly what it had been.

There was just too many layers to them. To their relationship that didn't exist beyond a fledgling friendship.

She wasn't ready for him.

"I wouldn't mind dating. I just don't have that much free time anymore." Hinata decided to reply instead.

"So, you are going to be watching that kid?" Hanabi asked.

Hinata nodded.

Despite voicing her uncertainty to Ino, Hinata wasn't a person to leave someone hanging in their time of need. When Sakura had asked her directly, Hinata had immediately agreed. Even if she thought it could make her encounters with Naruto even more awkward, if that had been humanly possible.

"Isn't that going to be weird?" Hanabi asked, garnishing them both another glare from the instructor.

Hinata shrugged. Almost assuredly. But, she was sure she could avoid it. By just avoiding him.

"I'm watching him for Sakura, not for Naruto." She explained, as softly as she could.

"Okay," The teacher spoke loudly, glaring at the Hyuga girls, matts put too closely together in the back. "We're going to end our class in Savasana."

"I'm going to 'savasana' her in the fucking face." Hanabi grunted.

"I don't think that's how you use that word." Hinata was already moving onto her back, much more familiar with the positions, and knowing that it was the end of class.

Hanabi gave a much less graceful roll onto her back, grunting, before settling down, wiping the stray hairs and sweat away from her face.

Now there was complete silence, ending their little secret chat, which Hinata was more grateful for. She was tired of talking about dating Naruto, when that possibility wasn't even on the plane of existence at the moment. Naruto never had and never would try and date her. Sure, he was friendly now, but he had always been friendly. He had always been nice to her.

Yes, he was making an effort to see her every now and again, but he had said it in his own words, 'Can't an old friend just want to catch up?' That's all it was.

It didn't need to be made any deeper by Hanabi or Ino or even herself.

She needed to keep herself firmly rooted in reality, this time around, being Naruto's friend. She had ruined it once before, reached for the moon and didn't land among the stars, as the motivational posters had promised. But Naruto was the sun, anyways, not the moon. She had been like Icarus, she was burned to a crisp and crashed back to earth, drowning in the ocean.

They spent the rest of their mindful meditation in silence like they were supposed to, and when class ended, and the teacher slowly made her way to the back of the room, assumeably to berate the two women, Hanabi grabbed her older sister's wrist and drug her out of the room as quickly as possible to the locker room.

"Kono is still down stairs, so we have time for a sauna sesh if you want."

"Sauna sesh?" Hinata smiled.

Hanabi smiled and nodded. "Oh yeah, you're going to love it."

The gym was in the better side of town, closer to where Hinata had grown up and where Hanabi was currently lived. It was frequented by more middle-aged woman clad in Lululemon. Though Hinata had spent the majority of her life in the upper class, she now felt displaced amongst the people of the highest tax brackets. Her own workout clothes were old, and had pilling in most of the high traffic places.

Hanabi didn't seem to notice her discomfort though, and kept up the easy chatter. Thankful now no longer about her dating life and more about details at work and minor changes to wedding plans, like floral arrangements.

"Do you think that the pearl succulents would look a little overkill?" Hanabi asked, tapping the steam-sweat away from her forehead.

After a lengthy explanation about how much she wanted them, Hinata knew it was her sisterly duty to insist that Hanabi get them, so she shook her head, looking intently through the hot mist.

"Not at all, it sounds really pretty."

Hanabi smiled. "Okay, okay." How quickly she agreed was a dead give-away that Hinata had been correct. "Well, let's wait until our appointment at the shop, and then you can see it."

Hinata smiled. "Of course."

"Oh, and after this Kono and I are going to the coffee shop, it's just up the street. It's really cute. You have to come." Hanabi's voice held the air of finality, that only a little sibling could, voicing requests to the older counterpart.

Hinata just smiled and nodded. She didn't to be too convinced. She had no immediate plans for the day and she would much rather accompany the couple to get drinks than to sit back alone at her crumbly place, trying to polish inch by inch sections of floor while listening to podcasts.

The showers were nicer than the one that Hinata had in her own apartment, but Hanabi had hurried her to get dressed. Hinata breathed in the feeling that only exercise could give, the energy and the exhaustion that seemed so opposite yet so equal. She stretched easily, rolling her neck and brushing her hair out. Hanabi shouldered her own bag, and Hinata's tapping her feet on the changing room floor.

"Sissy," Hanabi bent her knees, leaning back in extreme exaggeration.

Hinata had seen children act like this at the grocery store, mothers lost in conversation. Not that the Hyuga girls were ever permitted to act in such a manner. But the body language was universal.

"I'm coming." Hinata giggled, finally relinquishing the hairbrush and following her sister out of the locker room.

As always, the transition from moist, warm air to a more dry and chilly environment was stark, as Hinata took time to adjust. Hanabi laced her arm into hers, dragging her along, preventing her from falling behind.

"Let's go. They're waiting."

"Hmm?" Hinata asked, dubious on the 'they'.

"Hi-na-ta!"

Hinata almost tripped, if it wasn't for Hanabi, carrying the burdening herself with both of their bags and now her body weight.

"Oh my god, Naruto, what a surprise." Hanabi looked all too gleeful to see Konohamaru's friend.

Hinata looked between her sister and Konohamaru with a fresh set of securitization. It's amazing how being betrayed opened up one's eyes. Both of them looked like naughty school children, passing notes back and forth, getting caught and not really caring.

Naruto himself, even looked like a school child. Or looked like when he was an actual school child. His hair was damp, as if just from a shower, same as Hinata herself, and looked as fluffy and spiky as it did when she had been in class with him. He was also wearing regular clothes, jeans and black t-shirt, his gym bag, a backpack slung lazily on his shoulders. He was more filled out than he had been in high school, and much taller. She could see the toned muscles of his biceps, bulge easily as his arm moved to wave at her. She could defiantly see the roundness of his shoulders. And you could bet your ass she could see the thickness of his trapezius muscles, connecting to his neck-

She looked away, mortified at herself.

"Hi." She breathed, softly.

"Do you work out here, now too?" He asked, making conversation easily.

Hinata felt like the gym lobby was suddenly not dry or cold at all anymore. "Um, no, I uh, I just came with Hanabi."

She still hadn't looked back up at him.

"I got her a pass to try the yoga class. She's checking it out, seeing if the place is up to snuff. You know, good enough for her tastes." Hanabi teased.

Since the shower, Hinata had not applied any makeup, she immediately knew that the burn she could feel heating her face, was also visual to the group of friends. She laughed, hollowly at Hanabi's joke, as did the two men. She toed the pristine white tiles of the lobby floor awkwardly.

"Well, come on people, there's scones calling my name." In one easy motion, she dropped her bag and Hinata's into Konohamaru's arm and headed for the outside doors.

"Oh good, I'm starving." Konohamaru accepted the bags good naturedly and followed after the two women, leading the way.

Hinata was afraid to glance back and see if Naruto was tagging along with them. Of course, Hanabi would try and stick them together. She was a nosy little sister after all. The relaxation from the yoga was rapidly vanishing, filling with the dread of trying to make small talk with again.

"You don't get any scones, Kono. You have a strict wedding diet to follow." Hanabi smirked.

"What?" The man was aghast. "Why do you get one and not me?"

"Baby have you seen my body? It can't get any better honey, I'm sorry. I don't make the rules." Hanabi flipped her hair, not looking back at her fiancé.

"You do too!" Konohamaru argued back.

"Knew it." Naruto snorted.

Yes, Hinata lamented. He was coming.

The walk to the coffee shop was incredibly short. Hanabi hadn't lied when she said that it was close. It wasn't as uppity as Hinata had expected, at that side of town. It was cozy, mismatched and filled with local art.

She smiled, purposefully inhaling the scent of coffee and baked goods.

"Have you been here before?" Naruto was at her elbow suddenly.

It felt worse, talking to him now. At lunch, he looked so different. So much older. The barriers between them felt real. Now, Hinata half expected to look down and see her school uniform.

"No." Hinata's fingers twisted together.

"I love this place." Naruto smiled. "It's on the way to work. Kinda reminds me of that one near the school." He looked over at her, but she kept her eyes down. "Cinnamon rolls aren't as good though. Kinda small too."

"You probably don't have to share it then." She offered, wanting to clear her throat, feeling it tighten.

"Where's the fun in that?" Naruto bumped his elbow this her.

Hinata's fingers scrunched together as his skin brushed against hers. Like one says, "pinch me" to ground themselves back to reality. Her jaw clenched involuntarily swallowing hard.

"So, whatcha gonna get?" Naruto asked, shifting on his feet, back and forth.

As always, Hinata was jealous about how easy it was for Naruto to just simply be. His easy smile, his eyes sparkle, his shoulders relaxed, his conversation flowed easily.

"Oh, um I'll probably get an Americano, but-" She reached for her bag, to fish out her wallet, and stopped short.

Panic hit her quickly before she spotted Hanabi and Konohamaru, arguing in front of a case of pastries, her bag along with her sisters, hanging easily in the crook of his elbow.

"I can get it for you." Naruto spoke, following her line of vision and train of thought. "But," She shivered exaggeratedly. "That's like, thee grossest drink."

Hinata frowning. "You don't have to buy me anything."

He turned to smirk at her, already moving up to queue into the line. Hinata followed after a moment, still uncomfortable about his offer but not knowing how to deter him from it.

"Are you insulting my food choices again?" Hinata asked, softly, after a moment too long of silence.

Naruto's face lit up, looked over at her with an open mouth smirk. "Oh, believe it!"

She smiled, quietly, biting the side of her cheek. "What are you going to get."

"I always get the same thing."

He didn't elaborate any further, so Hinata just decided to wait and see what he ordered. "Sixteen-ounce Americano, and a large cookies and cream frappé. Please."

The barista was writing down on two of the cups, hadn't looked up yet. "Name?"

"Naruto."

The girl's eyes shot up, looking at Naruto. "Oh my god, are you Ambassador Namikaze?"

"Yep!" Naruto gave her a blinding smile.

Hinata watched a familiar reaction over take the young girl. She smiled, start struck and giddy. "Wow, omg, one of my friends that works the morning shift said that she's seen you before, but omg."

A very familiar reaction. Hinata could unfortunately sympathize with. Hers were usually more internal and disastrous though.

Naruto ended putting five dollars in the girl's tip jar. "Make sure to vote in November."

The barista dropped one of the cups, swooning. "Oh, thank you so much Mr. Namikaze, you're the best."

"Oh, wow Mr. Namikaze, oh my god, you're so amazing." Hanabi mimicked once the girl was out of earshot, Konohamaru standing behind her, snickering.

Naruto glared. "Shuttup."

Hinata finally let out a little breath, the closest she could come to laughing. Naruto heard it immediate, his attention snapping to her.

"Oh really, you too?" He demanded, out of mock seriousness.

Hinata shrugged, looking away, fighting down her smile.

"Oh jeepers Mr. Namikaze." Konohamaru crooned.

Hinata bit her lip.

"Wow." Naruto breathed. "You guys are so lame."

They laughed at Naruto expense until their drinks were completed. They found a table close to the window, Hinata crammed against Naruto and the wall. She could feel his knee brush against hers when she wasn't careful enough.

"I haven't heard you sass my choice yet." Naruto turned to her, when Konohamaru and Hanabi went off on a conversational tangent alone.

Hinata smiled. "I don't have a problem with milkshakes."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "You are ruthless and cold, Hyuga."

She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand.

"You're just drinking hot, unflavored bean water like some psychopath, and you have the audacity to drag my frap?"

"There's not even coffee in it." She tried to pad her argument.

"When did you even start drinking coffee. I never remember you drinking it?" Naruto asked, his joking tone leaving and this time, he was leaning in, listening.

Hinata shrugged. "Just recently."

She had never truly had the desire to be more awake during her marriage, or really the necessity. But going back to work for Hyuga Hotels, after healing from physical trauma had taken a toll on her body. Plus, the years of not waking up early too some readjustment. But it wasn't until she had double up her work, preparing for the boutiques opening that she had found it truly necessary to her life.

She had just kept it as her morning routine, when going to work for herself full time.

"Is the Americano just for your diet, or do you truly have no soul?" Naruto asked her, dead pan.

She just laughed and shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't diss my sister." Hanabi threw a crumb at Naruto.

They went back to the group discussion, casually.

Sakura's house was different than Hinata thought it would be.

Not that she had a lot of expectations for it in the first place.

It was an apartment though, which had surprised her. Closer to the city center than she was anticipating. It was nice though. A modern building with a higher tech set up.

Sakura greeted her smiling at the door. "Hinata, come in, come in."

Hinata smiled, walking in. It smelled like flower candles, the furniture looked a little plain, like a department store model, but Hinata liked it well enough. It's not like she even had a living room to compare it to.

Sakura gave her a quick, side hug, that didn't seem as awkward as it could've been. "How are you? You look really good."

Hinata glanced down at herself, momentarily. Ino had not dressed her today, so she was wearing a grey long sleeve and jeans.

"Thank you. So do you." Hinata replied, not so much out of conversational obligation, but a genuine compliment.

She had always found Sakura to be very pretty. Taller than herself, gorgeous hair, though short now was still tousled and sexy. Her eyes were bright and exotic and her gregarious personality had always been something that Hinata had yearned for. Even a fraction of Sakura's peppiness would've helped her innumerably in life.

Sakura was dressed in scrubs, ready to head to work.

"Shinachiku is eating dinner right now, and he'll probably want to just play video games after or watch TV. He's not too high maintenance or anything." Sakura was giving her the rundown of the place while getting her coat on, just as Hinata was shrugging hers off.

Hinata nodded.

"I have to run though. Sorry, something came up, I have to go in earlier than I thought. I was hoping to show you everything, but maybe next time."

"Oh, no. That's okay." Hinata promised.

"Thank you so much again, Hinata. Really. I left a list on the fridge incase anything happens. You can text me if you have any questions. I can check them on my breaks."

"Of course." She smiled.

Sakura bid goodbye to her son, hugged and thank Hinata again before departing for the evening.

Shinachiku was quieter than Hinata had been expecting. He was sitting at the table, to a plate of spaghetti and a side of sliced carrots, julienne, and ranch.

"Hi." He took a slurp of his juice box.

"Hi." Hinata smiled back.

"Are you hungry? Mom left some sa'ketti in the fridge." He said.

He's very thoughtful. "Thank you. I'm good for now though." She sat down across from him.

Shinachiku shrugged his shoulders.

He finished his dinner quickly, handing Hinata his plate. She wasn't sure if the dishwasher was clean or dirty so she hand washed it and dried it on the counter.

"So, what do you normally do before bed?" Hinata asked, rejoining him at the table.

Shinachiku shrugged his shoulders marginally. "Sometimes, I like to play video games, or watch TV. But I have to do my homework first."

Hinata appraised the little boy in a new light. She wasn't expecting him to be so responsible and make his own work any kind of priority, at such a young age. Very much like a young Sakura.

"Okay. Just tell me what you want me to help with." She smiled.

Shinachiku nodded, and went to go get his backpack. "I already did my reading today, so I just have math homework. It's just fractions, so I can probably do it by myself."

Hinata sat quietly while he got all of his own things from his bag. He had a little pencil and folders with cartoon characters on them. He easily maneuvered through it all to fish out a lone piece of paper. It looked like a little worksheet that Hinata herself remembered going through. There couldn't have been more than thirty different problems on the sheet.

She watched the little boy work through them with practiced ease. When he was finished, he just asked Hinata to review them for him.

"It's not cheating if I already did them." The little boy promised, hand on his heart.

Hinata's smile wasn't forced. "Of course." She obliged him easily.

She had been peaking at his paper while he had worked on them, out of lack of anything else to do. She hadn't spotted any mistakes then, not that she would've told him. But reviewing it with fresh eyes hadn't found any either. She just smiled and assured him that it was done correctly.

"Thanks Mrs. Hinata."

"Oh, you forgot your name at the top." Hinata spotted.

"Oops." Shinachiku reached back for his pencil to fix his oversight.

In large, childish script he wrote 'Shinachiku Namikaze-Haru' – He stopped abruptly, having run out of space on the provided line, and went to erase, using the end of his pencil. The eraser was atrocious and ended just streaking a think grey cloud on the name line. Shinachiku looked up at Hinata, quietly floundering for help.

"Don't worry." She held out her hand for the pencil.

She used a little bit more force, and though the eraser was not a very good one, she got much of the lead residue off. Enough for him to rewrite his name legibly.

"Sorry." The little boy's round cheeks looked lightly touched with embarrassment.

"It's okay." She promised. "Sometimes those pencils don't have very good erasers. And your name is very long, that line is a little short."

Shinachiku nodded. "Mom says I have to slow down and write smaller. But sometimes I forget, 'cause my name used to be shorter."

He wrote out again, slower and smaller like he had mentions. 'Shinachiku Namikaze-Haruno'.

"Perfect." Hinata inspected.

"I used to just have one last name. But now I have two. None of my other friends have two." He played with the zipper of his bag quietly for a moment, frowning at his homework folder.

Hinata looked at him sadly for a moment.

She had no idea how it felt to have divorced parents. She could barely even remember having more than one parent. Her mother was a fleeting memory of a round pregnant belly, long hair, and forehead kisses. She barley even knew Shinachiku, having only encountered the young boy in passing until that moment. Hinata had a limited experience with any children, exclusive to Mirai Sarutobi, who was quite a few years older than him.

But, she was familiar with people in need. People who wanted to talk.

"Is that weird to get used to?" Hinata asked, quietly. Not wanting to probe where it was uncomfortable for the little boy, but wanting to be receptive to his desire to talk.

He nodded. "I used to have one name, and one house. But now I have two names, and two houses."

There was a paused, where he frowned and looked even more sad. Hinata was torn now, thinking that she was making the situation worse. That maybe she should've distracted him instead of facilitating him.

"I used to have a different name. And a different house." She finally told him.

His head shot up. "Did your parent's get divorced too?"

"No." She smiled sadly. "I did."

Shinachiku leaned back like Hinata had just deeply betrayed him. "Why?"

She couldn't really tell him the real reason. He was just a child.

"Sometimes, you marry someone because you love them. But, that doesn't always mean that they're a good person for you to be with. Sometimes, it's better to not be married anymore."

After her pathetic explanation, it donned on her that Sakura might not be very grateful that Hinata was having an in-depth conversation about divorce with her son.

"Do you have any kids?" Shinachiku asked.

She shook her head no.

"So… just you had to change your name and your house?" He asked, trying to piece the story together.

She nodded.

"So do you have to live in two houses like me."

"No, I just live in one house. By myself." She tried to explain.

"And just one name?"

She nodded again. "Yep. A new one." She paused. "Well, an old one."

"An old one?" He asked.

"Well, when I was a little girl, my name was Hinata Hyuga. But I got married, and it was Hinata Otsutsuki. Now, its Hinata Hyuga again."

"Huh." Shinachiku paused, taking the new information in. "So, do you ever get confused and mess it up?"

She laughed. "Yes. Sometimes, I write the wrong name at the bank."

Hinata didn't really have a hard time remembering that she went by Hyuga now. Dropping Toneri's name had been a breath of fresh air. What was more shocking, was receiving all official documents, still in his name. She hadn't been able to change her name officially since the divorce wasn't finalized, so it was still on her social security card, bank statements and court documents.

"Do you want to watch TV now?" Shinachiku asked, zipping up his backpack.

"Of course." Hinata smiled.

Shinachiku was much easier than she expected. He had kept himself busy with either a show on television or his Gameboy, and when bedtime came, his did his own routine completely without whining or prompting. She had told Sakura that he had been a compete angel, on his best behavior, and it had not been a lie.

The next day, she decided to spend with Kurenai. Since she had agreed to start watching Shinachiku after school, at least for every other week, thought she would catch up with her an Mirai before she was much busier than usual.

"You going to burn yourself out." Kurenai scolded.

They had decided to take a jaunt, to a farmer's market a little out of town. Kurenai was still on the Whole Foods Plant Based bandwagon, and though Hinata had no ethical qualms about meat, had already agreed to the diet. Since she had committed, weeks before, she didn't feel right about suddenly quitting it.

"Between the boutique, and helping your sister with her wedding, you barley even have time for yourself. Kiba is already whining to me that you don't have time to hang out with him."

It wasn't that Hinata didn't have time for Kiba, it was that she was not too keen on going to clubs as her friend was.

"Well, Sakura is my friend and she needed some help. Her parents are pretty old now."

Kurenai scoffed. "Well, it's not like Sakura was a model friend to you."

"That was a long time ago." Hinata defended.

Kurenai just shrugged.

The weather was perfect out for a walk outside, and even though she had decided that she preferred the city, it was nice to get out for a while and breathe some fresh air. The place wasn't too crowded either.

"There was one thing." Hinata quickly described her talk with Shinachiku, about divorce. "Do you think," Hinata paused, fiddling with the handle of her reusable grocery bag. "Do you think I shouldn't have talked to him about that?"

"Of course not. I'm sure you were just being helpful, and supportive. How could that be bad?" Kurenai didn't even look at her while she threw her doubts out the window, too engrossed individual bundles of celery.

"You don't think it would make Sakura… I don't know, uncomfortable? I mean, he's her son, and that's a pretty sensitive topic." Hinata pressed.

"Mirai talk about her dad with Shikamaru all the time." Kurenai shrugged, finally selecting two piles of celery, handing one to Hinata and putting on in her own bag.

"Mom!" Mirai grumbled. As a preteen, it was her duty and right to be offended about any mention of herself by her mother.

Hinata smiled at the short haired girl, frowning next to her.

Kurenai waved her daughter's teen angst off. "It's true. It's healthy for children to be able to confide in people that aren't their parents. You know that you are a safe person for him to do that to. Sakura is an intelligent adult, she's a doctor. She has to have some concept of that. If she has a problem with it, I'm sure that she'd bring it up to you calmly."

Hinata nodded, taking in the older woman's words.

"And when she does, you can just point her in my direction, and I'll tell her the what's what." She finished, moving onto carrots.

Hinata laughed, very sure that she would never be doing that.

The day was nice though and sunny. It was a very night walk around, and the vegetables were cheap enough for Hinata to afford in abundance.

"Do you like spending time with the Nara's?" Hinata asked, putting her arm around Mirai.

The younger girl nodded. "Yeah, Shikamaru's teaching me how to play Shogi, and Shikadai isn't too annoying anymore. I school him in all his video games. Temari's food isn't as good as yours, but since your on mom's lame diet, hers will have to do."

Hinata laughed, squeezing Mirai's shoulders. "I apologize. I need to make some cinnamon rolls in the future to make it up to you."

Hinata moved to release her, but Mirai wrapped her arm around her waist, keeping her hug in place. "Please do. I miss them."

They both laughed as Kurenai glared at them.

"When are you going to have kids Hina? I need to spoil them like you and Shikamaru do."

"What about Kiba and Shino?" Hinata deflected.

It's not like she had a set time and date for children, or even a currently path that lead to a direction remotely close to that.

"Well, yeah them too. But they're hopeless with kids. I can't count on them having any."

"I won't tell them you said that." Hinata promised.

"Stop gossiping you old biddies, we have to make it to that kale stand over there before they run out." Kurenai pressed.

"Mom, I hate kale." Mirai whined, leaning further into Hinata. "Please save me Hina."


	8. Chapter 8

Hinata frowned as Kiba bought yet another cookie at the pastry case. He walked easily back, with an easy, relaxed gait. His hair was brushed back, his jeans dark, wearing leather jacket. He looked far more badass than Hinata knew him to truly be, especially because this was the fourth cookie he had bought for Mirai, after he had specifically told her he wouldn't be buying anymore.

It was hard to keep a badass persona when you were a twelve year olds bitch.

"Mirai, did I tell you that Hinata, Shino and I used to hang out here all the time." Kiba slid back into his seat next to Hinata.

The coffee shop was eerily familiar, like a time capsule. Or a museum exhibit. All the paint, the furniture, even the menu was exactly the same.

"Yeah, only like every time we come here." Mirai grumbled, taking the cookie from Kiba.

Hinata took a sip of her Americano, right at the moment that Kiba threw his arm behind her chair, bumping her. She had to lean forward quickly to avoid spilling on her shirt.

"This little dainty lady right here could do some serious damage to one of those cinnamon rolls over there."

Mirai followed his finger to case, where a row of cinnamon rolls the size of dinner plates were displayed proudly.

"No way." The younger girl looked between the massive pastries and the smaller woman, and bit into her own cookie.

Kiba nodded. "Yes way. She wouldn't even share with me or Shino. She'd just scarf the whole thing by herself."

Hinata rolled her eyes, as Kiba squeezed her into a tighter side hug as she set her cup back down into safety.

"She'd only ever share with one person."

Hinata elbowed him in the ribs.

"Jeez woman." Kiba frowned, removing himself from her.

Mirai giggled.

"You're giving her too much sugar. Kurenai is going to be upset." Hinata scolded him, changing the subject.

Kiba rolled her eyes. "That's precisely why it's my 'uncle'ly duty to do so. You and Boss Woman went off one some radical plant bullshit-"

"Language." Hinata interrupted.

"And it's up to me to save her." He reached over and pinched on of Mirai's full chipmunk cheeks.

She frowned, chewed, then swallowed. "Many thanks." She reached for her insulated cup of hot coco and took a long drink.

"No problem, kid."

Hinata was overly thankful for mundane outings. For friendships.

She had spent almost a decade without any friends. Without going places. Without connecting to people. If she was being honest, without even connecting with herself.

She was still having a hard time, with herself.

Being with people was a catch 22. She was so thankful to rebuild the relationships that she had lost. But sometimes she was afraid that she used these times to not be alone.

It's not like her apartment was particularly nice. It was basically a bed in a kitchenette with a dilapidated bathroom and unfinished floor. It wasn't weird per say that she didn't want to spend any time there.

"Are they good?" Hinata finally asked Mirai.

She nodded quickly.

"Maybe I'll get one for Shinachiku." Hinata resolved, reaching for her purse.

"How do you feel about being replaced?" Kiba joked, poking Mirai.

Mirai swatted his finger away before it could make contact. "That kid's Shikadai's friend. He's basically a baby."

"Hinata has a new baby in her life." Kiba poked again.

Mirai rolled her eyes and parried the next blow. "When are you going to have babies?"

Kiba looked aghast, withdrawing his finger and flinching away, leaning onto Hinata away from the preteen. "What the fuck?"

"Kiba." Hinata frowned. "Language."

"I'm never having those things." Kiba glared at Mirai. "Akamaru just had puppies, what more do you want from me?"

"Human puppies."

"Never." Kiba hissed.

Hinata gave the man's leather clad shoulder a pat.

"What about you Hina?" Mirai turned her devious eyes onto her next victim.

"Come again?" Hinata coughed.

"Yeah how does that feel." Kiba smirked, turning to pat Hinata's shoulder, condescendingly.

Hinata stood up abruptly from the table, her face broiling, broadcasting her mortification for all to see. It had already been an awkward outing. Kiba seemed to revel in the fact that he was a bad influence on Mirai, which grated on Hinata to no end.

Even Naruto had grown up, and was responsible enough to be appropriate in front of a child. Which was really saying something, he had been worse than Kiba as children.

Being in the café, after talking about it with Naruto was also very distorting in her brain. It felt weird to breach this bubble of their past without him. But that thought also had her feeling queasy, she didn't ever make plans with him in the first place. She more or less was dropped into them on her ass. Or her head. Either way, Naruto was discombobulating, especially because she never seemed to be prepared for it.

"Thank you so much for the cookie." Shinachiku smiled at her.

He was very good about his 'please and thank you's and Hinata was impressed.

"You're welcome."

He had to finish his dinner, which had been chicken and potatoes, with carrots and ranch again. Then he had done fifteen minutes of reading, and another math sheet that she had diligently checked over. It became very routine after a while, watching Shinachiku for Sakura. Then after, when the dishes were cleared and the homework folders were put away, he usually watched some cartoons or played on his video game quietly.

This time, he pulled out another packet.

"Don't worry, it's not due yet." Shinachiku promised quickly.

Probably with a mother like Sakura, he was pressured into over achieving. Hinata just smiled. "Okay." She tried to promise him lightly.

"I'm just supposed to start brain storming for my science fair project." He laid out the packet on the table, taking another bite of his cookie.

"Alright."

"I think I can do it by myself, but sometimes science has big words." Shinachiku's tan cheeks blushed a little.

"It does." She agreed, validating him. She wanted to make him feel better without calling attention to his embarrassment, so she decided to just gloss over it.

She had never really appreciated when people poked at her own blushing cheeks.

Hinata let Shinachiku read the packet out loud and gave him the word when he stumbled on them, which he paused to say a quick "thanks". She knew that one of his parents would probably have to reread it with him, and go over it and ultimately select a project for him. But then they came across choosing, he was too excited for Hinata to shut him down.

"They said that I could pick something I'm interested in. Can I do something with video games?" He asked, with sparkling green eyes.

"I'm sure you could do it with anything you wanted." Hinata inwardly grimaced, wanting to be helpful and supportive but not being versed in children enough to know how to steer the conversation. It just felt like a runaway vehicle.

"We just have to follow the packet. We have to have something that measurable and something that comparable." Hinata recited. "If you found a way to do that with video games, I'm sure it would be allowed."

Shinachiku frowned, leaning back into his chair, holding his cookie out.

Hinata felt immediately guilty for crushing his excitement. "What else do you like?"

"Cookies." He took another big bite.

"Anything else?" She laughed.

"I also like carrots." He nodded.

"It doesn't have to food." Hinata reminded him.

"But I do really like carrots. Carrots and ranch. My dad doesn't like carrots. But he pretends to like vegetables because he says they're good for you." Shinachiku said softly.

Hinata smiled to herself.

After a moment of quiet, Hinata paused to herself. "Do you know, that carrots can regrow themselves in water."

Shinachiku looked shocked. "Like Dr. Connors?"

"Um…" Hinata paused.

"In the Amazing Spider Man, Doctor Kurt Connors loses his arm and then he puts some lizard stuff in it to regrow it, cause lizards do that, and then he turns into a monster and Spider Man has to, like, beat him up and stuff." Shinachiku's voice was quit and excited and be punctuated the air with a couple quick jabs, dropping crumbs on the table.

Hinata was unfamiliar with that movie. Or genre.

"Mom says that doctors don't really do that though." The little boy looked incredibly disappointed as he dusted off the table with his free hand.

"Uh, well. Yes. Carrots can grow, from themselves. So can some other vegetables too."

"I could have, like, an unlimited supply of carrots?" He seemed interested again.

"Maybe?" Hinata let out, quiet and stretched.

"Sweet. Can we do that?"

Hinata felt uncomfortable starting a child's science fair project without asking his parents. Like it was some rite of passage she was infringing upon. Sakura on the other hand, seemed all too happy to have Hinata help him.

"We don't really have any vegetables here." Shinachiku admitted, after Hinata got the 'okay'.

"You had carrots for dinner." Hinata tried to reason, heading to Sakura's fridge.

"Well, mom doesn't really cook. She just picks up premade stuff. Or orders it."

Sure enough, her fridge was jam packed with condiments and takeout containers.

"You can order it online." Shinachiku offered.

"Really?"

He nodded. "You just need an app."

"An app?"

Shinachiku held out his hand. "Here." He asked for her phone.

She paused, looking down at the small boy. Weighing the options, she relinquished Hanabi's hand-me-down phone.

"Hold my cookie?" He asked, taking her phone into his smaller hands.

It just a few minutes, Shinachiku had downloaded an app, and Hinata had told his which things needed to be ordered. Six different kinds of produce, clear plastic cups, for scientific observation, and tooth picks. Shinachiku added a bottle of Ranch to the cart, smiling a little mischievously. "Just in case." He shrugged his shoulders.

Hinata caved easily.

The supplies delivered in less than an hour, enough time for Shinachiku to have a nice cartoon break before more school work. Which, luckily, his excitement had stayed.

She showed him how to do everything, having to google somethings, all while having him write down all the notes, as stated in his Science Fair Project packet. She even snapped photos to send them to Sakura, so she didn't feel like she was missing out on one of her son's milestones. Also, so they could be used in his project.

Shinachiku leaned his head down on the table, looking at the clear cups, staring intently at the one with the carrot top in it.

"Why does it take so long?" He pouted.

"It takes time to grow." She tried to explain delicately, without giving away the actual number, which she had read online. She wanted him to figure it out on his own, for the project.

"Someday, I hope I get as tall as my dad. Or even uncle Sasuke!" He smiled.

"That would be pretty cool."

"Hey, Hinata?" He asked, quieter.

"Hm?"

"When did you stop growing? Cause your, kinda, really small." He told her like he was letting her know she had a very serious disease, and spoke very apologetically.

"Well-"

"Did you not eat enough food?"

Hinata paused, wondering if it was appropriate to tell a child his age about genetics, or if she should just go along with him. She was thankfully saved by the doorbell, but paused on her way to it.

Sakura had always told her if Shinachiku's grandparents were taking him for the night. But this time, there was no reason for the nightly interruption. Unlike when the groceries had been ordered.

Shinachiku was wrenching the door open before she could stop him.

"Dad!" The little blonde boy launched himself out of the front door, and into arms of the much larger man.

Hinata's chest sunk.

Yet again, she was completely unprepared to see him again. She was wearing leggings, a baggy T-shirt and no makeup. Standing in his ex-wife's house.

"Hey Hi-na-ta." Naruto stepped into the apartment, holding his son over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, making Spongebob-esq giggle sounds.

"Hi." She fumbled with the hem of her shirt.

"Mrs. Hinata helped me with my science fair project."

Naruto startled. "Oh my god, Shina, why would you call her that?"

Shinachiku frowned from over his dad's shoulder. "Mom told me I had to."

Naruto made a face. "That makes you sound like, a thousand years old." His eyes moved back onto her, making her blush.

Hinata shrugged.

She felt a thousand years old.

"But anyways, you already did your project? That's amazing." Naruto set his son back down on the floor. "Can you go grab your stuff?"

Shinachiku nodded quickly and dashed off into the house.

"No, seriously, Mrs. Hinata, I can't tell you how great it is not to have to do that project." He sounded sincere.

Hinata frowned at his teasing, but looked back down at the floor. "It was nothing. He was really excited about it."

Shinachiku skidded back into the entry way with his school bag and one extra bag. "Okay, okay. I think I got everything, but-" The little boy stopped suddenly. "Oh no!"

"What's wrong bud?" Naruto asked, lowering down so he was faced to face with him.

"My project." Shinachiku frowned. "I won't be able to see it for a week. How am I gonna know if it grows like Dr. Connors?"

Hinata's heart clenched. Is this really what entailed being divorced with a child? That they even miss out on their science fair projects?

"I'm sure your mom will take good care of them." Hinata offered, awkwardly.

"We can make another set at Dad's house too, if you want." Naruto grabbed his son's shoulder, comfortingly.

"You did need to make sure that the experiment was repeatable." Hinata offered.

"Yeah?" Shinachiku smiled.

Hinata nodded. "You can take the supplies if you want to."

"Oh," Naruto stopped her for a second. "I don't think Sakura would like if I jacked her vegetables."

Hinata shook her head. "It's okay, I bought them."

"Mom didn't have any." Shinachiku added.

"That sounds like her." Naruto laughed. "Okay, go get it."

Shinachiku dutifully dashed back to the kitchen.

"Guess I didn't get out of it this time." Naruto tried to make light of the conversation but it still felt awkward, standing in Sakura's living room.

Shinachiku arrived back, none the wiser to the two adults plight, carrying the bag that Hinata had ordered for him and his backpack.

"Oh, smart move Shina." Naruto complimented him, relieving him of his bags.

"Yeah, I kinda need that for school." Shinachiku laughed, pushing past his dad.

Naruto smirked, looking down at his son. "Just kinda."

Hinata watched the two of them, before it got to be too much and she had to distract herself. She started gathering her own things to leave the apartment, to busy herself.

When she was alone, watching Shinachiku, it was easy to just see him as a young boy. A nice, well mannered, smart child. She didn't think of him as Naruto's son. But, paired together, it was painful. He looked so much like his father, had some of the same litter mannerisms and quirks.

And… Naruto was such a good father.

He was silly, yet still held the firm parental authority needed. He was kind, and complimentary and…

Perfect?

No. That was a dangerous adjective to put on any person. She had unfairly held Naruto to the standard before. Made him an unattainable God. Nobody deserved that kind of idolization.

But, he was at least, a very good father. From her limited perspective, of course.

"Hinata, let us give you a ride home." She was in the elevator with the two blondes.

"Huh?" Hinata asked startled.

"Sakura said that you take the bus. I can drop you off. Super easy. I don't mind." Naruto promised.

He had talked to Sakura about her? It made sense. Naruto had a right to know who was watching his son. How she ever thought that she could keep it from him, was ridiculously naïve. And probably weird. Did he think she was weird? Had he known she would be there, right now, picking him up?

"Yeah Mrs. Hinata." Shinachiku nodded, smiling happily to be helpful.

Naruto grimaced at the respectful terminology on her name again and squinted an eye, like he had eaten something sour. "Uh, Shina, please just call her Hinata."

Shinachiku laughed nervously, ducking his head, his ear tips turning pink. "Mmm'okay."

"So…" Naruto pressed, keeping stride with her as they headed out of the building.

"Um, I don't want to inconvenience you." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Wow, it's almost like I offered to do it." Naruto smirked at her haughtily.

He was wearing a suit again, though it was obvious that he had worked a long day. He had a five o'clock shadow, and his sleeves were rolled up, his top buttons undone and his pants were creased. His hair looked more undone, his eyes tired, which made the blue more vibrant. His smirk, toothier.

Hinata's mouth felt dry and her knees felt weak.

"What if it's too far out of the way?" She argued, quietly.

Naruto sighed, a deep, loud, huff of air. "I guess we would die then. Huh, Shina?"

Shinachiku smiled, trying to sigh as well but unable to keep his lips from twitching up. "It can't be helped."

Hinata had to cover her mouth with her hand to hold her snort.

"So, yeah?" Naruto asked again.

Hinata nodded.

His car was nicer than she imagined him having, which was felt was rude of herself, since he was so successful now. Not that she knew much about cars anyways, not knowing the make or model of anything. Not even knowing how to drive, herself. But it was sleek and shiny and black and smell clean and new.

I was nicer than anything Hinata could afford, by far. She was sure. Just on the feel of the interior alone.

She wondered what his house looked like.

Hinata went cold for a second.

He was going to see her apartment. He was going to see the type of place that she lived in. The dilapidated state of her building. The side of the city it was on. The neighborhood.

She was getting used to the feeling now, of being completely and utterly humiliated in front of Naruto.

She just wished that she could acclimate to it.

"Something wrong?" Naruto asked, looking over from the driver's side.

Hinata shrugged. "I'm not used to cars."

The lie was easy enough.

"You walk a lot, right?" He asked, adjusting the radio and air conditioning controls but still looking over at her every few moments, showing that he was listening.

"And the bus." She added.

"Environmentally conscious." Naruto applauded.

More like, I'm poor.

"That's a lot of exercise too." He continued.

She shrugged a little. None of her walking had ever come out of health reasons. Just a necessary and cheap mobility option.

"Speaking of exercise." Naruto segwayed, elongating his words as he slowly turned to glance at her, quickly, still driving. "Are you going to be at the gym again tomorrow?"

Hanabi had signed her up, on a family plan with herself and Konohamaru, easily adding her at a minimal cost.

Hinata nodded. She was finding that it was nicer to get out of the house, than doing it alone at home. Plus, she wanted to take advantage of her sister's generosity, though she had protested the kind notion. She was now a steady addition to all of the yoga classes, she had even done hot yoga and nearly fainted. She had also dabbled in a Pilates class but found that one more intensive and less relaxing.

Hanabi, who could not make the commitment quite as often, wanted to try a Yogalates class that Hinata was currently dreading.

"Shinachiku loves the gym. They have this kid's basketball thing. He tears it up." Naruto beamed back at his son in the rear-view mirror.

"Dad!" He protested, embarrassed.

"Shina, when your good, you're supposed to tell other people. Otherwise, how are they supposed to know?" Naruto argued.

His son pouted.

"You should take this exit." Hinata quietly pointed towards the window next to her.

She debated between herself if she should just lie and have Naruto drop her off at a nicer area. But that didn't seem very sustainable, considering that Naruto had been managing to weave his way into her life recently.

They got further into her neighborhood, the streets getting dirtier, more people milling about.

"Dad?" Shinachiku asked, the nerves coating his voice. She could hear him manually locking his door.

Naruto laughed. "Shina is used to private school and a door man. He's not used to the hardened streets." His voice was joking. He poked Hinata in the ribs. "Kinda like someone I used to know."

Hinata's face blew up into in inferno of complete and utter mortification, crossing her arms over her stomach. She didn't know what to say after that, telling him where to turn at an upcoming light. "I got over it." She muttered, quietly, trying not to sound too bitter.

Naruto paused, looking over at her again. "Well, this is way nicer than my place in high school. Remember it?"

How could she have forgotten it? She had tried, sometimes. When she didn't want to think about him. Naruto had been shuffled around foster homes, until he had gone to stay with a godfather. Then after that godfathers, death, when he was stayed on his own. But even while he had lived with Jiraiya, he had essentially been alone.

This made Naruto's apartments, whichever one he had managed to secure at the time, the go to place to hang out. Not that Hinata had be allowed over very often. Or that she had even been invited frequently.

Even though Naruto had admitted that, in his own words, she had been his 'nicest friend' she was not his closest. Or even second closest. She had spent the majority of her time with Shino and Kiba.

Or Sakura. And by extension, Ino.

But she did have very distinct memories of Naruto's apartment from high school. They all were usually messy, the only food that could be found there was cup-of-noodles. Every time that Hinata had ventured there, ended in her secretly trying to clean it for him without anyone noticing,

"Anyone that is self-sustaining is admirable. It doesn't matter what it looks like." He said.

He sounded exactly like a politician.

Hinata went back into her apartment with an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. She decided to go straight to sleep.

"You look tired." Hanabi commented, in the back of their Yogalates class.

The instructor, gave them a familiar glare.

Hinata had slept too long, and was feeling the adverse effects. She yawned, though unable to relax. They were seated, leaning back, engaging her nonexistent abs yet again, one leg out. She could feel the thinness of her mat under her butt bones, the cushion inadequate.

Hanabi seemed much more at ease at the more vigorous workout, her mat also being made of a thicker, more expensive material.

"Were you up late doing nightly activities?" Hanabi wiggled an eyebrow.

Hinata frowned. She didn't do any activities, and definitely not the ones that her sister was referring to. "I slept too late." She managed to get out through labored breath.

The last class they had done together, Hinata had exceeded at easily. She was very familiar with the muscle movements of yoga. But Pilates had more strength building exercises, ones that she usually avoided and Hanabi did on purpose.

Either fortunately, or unfortunately, Hanabi was quieter in this class. She could avoid awkward sexual innuendos, but she was forced to actually go the grueling exercise. As the hours (forty-minute class) went on, Hinata's bangs matted to her face, her long sleeve exercise top was shirked and her hands were shaking in time with her knee wobbles.

"Yes." Hanabi rolled her neck, carrying her mat rolled under her arm. "I feel so awake now."

Hinata still hadn't caught her breath. "Out of all the classes," She huffed, trying to find the bottom of her shirt, to somehow wrangle it back on. "Why can't you get us kicked out of that one?"

Though Hinata was muttering, the instructor turned, glaring at the sisters.

"Looks like it's all you, this time." Hanabi snorted, turning on her heels quickly to make a break for it.

Hinata grimaced. Finally getting the bottom of the T-shirt, and sliding it over her head. "Let's get out of-"

"Hi-na-ta-"

Hinata's heart stopped head, jerking back in surprise, getting her head caught in the neck of her shirt.

"I'm standing right here too." Hanabi rolled her eyes.

Naruto made his way through a sea of middle aged woman in almost coordinating black yoga outfits.

"Hey, so nice to run into you." He gave her a side eyed smirk.

Hinata nervously brushed her bangs from her forehead, hoping that her cheeks didn't look like some form of rosacea. "Such a surprise." She muttered.

Naruto actually laughed, out loud, causing her blush to deepen to lobster proportions.

"I gave Hinata a ride home last night." Naruto explained.

"Ahh, the tiredness." Hanabi ribbed.

Hinata pushed Hanabi towards the changing rooms. "You, go, now." She muttered, trying hard not to crumple and die from embarrassment.

"You guys just do a class?" Naruto gestured with his head to the room behind herself that she had just exited.

She turned back to the room, making eye contact with her glaring teacher again. "Yep."

"Do you have any plans now?"

Hinata looked back at Naruto's face.

Not to sound cliché, even in her own mind, but every time Naruto posed some kind of question like that to her, she felt like she was standing at a fork in the road. She could choose to avoid him, or she could choose to go with him. Obviously. Avoiding him made her feel fragile. Like she was too weak to face him. Like a crumbed fortune cookie still in the clear plastic, not wanting to open it and make a mess. But going with him, seeking out his company, felt like a shallow, carbon copy of her teenage self. Like she had never grown or changed.

Maybe she hadn't.

Or, maybe it wasn't that deep.

Maybe Naruto was just a guy, asking her to hang out with him.

"No."

Naruto beamed. "Come on."

She had followed him around the gym as he gave her an impromptu tour of the rest of the gym. It really was massive. The floor that Hinata usually went on, was full of small classrooms with mirrors, almost like a ballet room. But elsewhere in the building, there was an entire area with cardio machines, soccer and basketball courts, even a pool.

"But this is where I hang out."

There room was full of weights, dumbbells and benches. It had a much more masculine scent, though the wall was also full of mirrors, like her yoga classroom had been. Also in the room, looked like, to what Hinata's uninformed mind to categorize it as, was for boxing? Maybe wrestling. She couldn't really tell. Definitely something for fighting.

What she did recognize, was Sasuke Uchiha.

He was standing inside a ring, looking similar to the way he had in high school. He was tall, a little taller than Naruto, dark features and pale skin. He had always been devastatingly handsome but Hinata had never carried much stock in that. Even though they had grown up in the same circles, she had not been close to him, nor had she even particularly cared for him at all.

Sasuke's face didn't register any recognition for his supposed best friend, other than turning more fully to greet him.

"Come to get your ass kicked?" Sasuke asked sounding exactly like he had as a bored teenager.

"Not right now." Naruto sneered, good naturedly, dipping his head, obviously to Hinata.

A man Hinata did not recognize, bounced easily next to him, leaning against the ropes, leering at them. "I'd ditch Sasuke too for that tall drink of water. Hey, I'm Suigetsu."

Sasuke turned around, apparently done with the interaction.

"Don't mind him." Naruto frowned. "How's your punch?" He asked, changing the topic and direction, heading towards one of the large, hanging red bag.

"Um, I don't know." Hinata knew this was some kind of flirty date thing guys did. Not that they had ever done them with her. She had more seen them in movies, or witnessed them with friends. She had first hand witnessed a lot of Naruto flirting with third party members on more than one occasion in their youth.

More like, Hinata was the third-party member.

Naruto turned and punched it, making Hinata stop and stare in wonder. His whole body moved as one fluid entity, and though she wasn't aware of correct form, she was intimately and unfortunately, aware of how powerful punches could be. Naruto had more strength behind his, the bag making a soft 'thud' as it absorbed much of his kinetic energy, but still swaying from the impact.

"Show off!" Suigetsu shouted from the ring.

A primal part of Hinata, a part that she thought she had buried, the part of her that was like a scared dog, flinching away from the sound, the movement, wanted to tuck tail and hide.

A different part of Hinata couldn't take her eyes off of Naruto's shoulder muscles that were showing through his bro tank. She bit her bottom lip.

She was one hundred percent unprepared for when he turned back to her. Her eyes widened and she looked down quickly, caught red handed, in the cookie jar.

His body was the cookie in that analogy.

"Your turn."

Hinata blanched. "Oh, n-n-no. I don't think I could-" Her waist vibrated, jolting against her stomach, making her jump. Ruining the moment, or saving her from that terribly fragmented sentence.

"Sorry." Hinata laughed nervously, grabbing her phone out of the small pocket.

"Yoga pants have pockets?" Naruto stared at for a fraction of a second before her shirt fell back down to cover it.

"Some of them." Hinata stared at her phone, eyebrows furrowed in question. "It's Ino."

"Work?" He asked.

She shrugged. Ino didn't usually call.

"Take it, take it." He encouraged, shooing her away playfully.

Hinata smiled, turning around, sliding the green phone icon across the screen. "Hello?"

She was greeted with a much shriller version of Ino's voice than she was used to. "We have a big fucking problem!"


	9. Chapter 9

Her lawyer's office was familiar enough, she had been there a few times before, but not so familiar that she wasn't able to look around and find new things in it to fixate on.

It was bared of anything personal, no family photos or even a hand drawn picture.

Sakura's fridge had crayon drawings, probably from years previously, that Shinachiku must've bestowed upon her, like a cat, proud and smug with their kill, ready to share with their owner, ready to be praised, the adult thanking them anyways, leaving the drawing on the fridge for the next three years.

Karui Akamichi was speaking to her with clear, matter of fact words, but they felt too far away, like they were getting lost in the vast distance between each sides of the desk. More like the vast distance between Hinata and herself.

She had felt incredibly disconnected since she had found out the news. The Iron Country coat factory had been an incredible investment. Ino hadn't lied. Hinata had done the numbers herself. It would've taken months, for the winter season, for them to have made their money back, but even priced affordably, the coats end price would've been triple the profit. Minimum.

Except their order amount. They had their order processed, for more than ten times the original units they had specified.

Draining their accounts.

Nonrefundable.

Ino had been dead set on figuring out if it had been shadiness from the Tetsu no Kuni manufacturer, or if it was an error in Shikamaru's drafted proposal.

To Hinata, it made no difference.

She was done for, either way.

With the amount of money that she had wouldn't even last her a month now. In less than four weeks, she would be homeless, jobless, and thousands of dollars in debt to her father and Naruto Namikaze.

"The previous proposal is off the table. But I can offer with one almost exactly the same." Karui Akamichi spoke matter-of-factly with steeple fingers.

"I would have to withdraw all of my statements?" Hinata asked.

Hinata is not so put together. Karui is back straight, eyes forwards, assertive. Strong. Hinata feels hollow, like a papier-mâché project after the balloon is popped out. Ready to be beaten apart, but there's no candy inside. There's nothing. She's empty.

It had taken so much out of Hinata, to make those testimonies. She had to sit in the courtroom for hours. When her hands still shook and her stiches were still fresh. Before the scars had even formed. When her throat still hurt to swallow, from the tissue damage he had made.

She would have to recant. Say that she lied.

They weren't lies. Every word she said, every scene she described, everything was the haunting truth.

Now… she would have to take it all back…

"That was the stipulation. For early severance."

Hinata brought her hands up, rubbing down her arms like she was cold.

This is not what she wanted. Not anything close to this. She didn't want to be that girl, the girl laying in the hospital bed, worried about Toneri being in prison. Worried that he would be mad. Worried what he would do to her then.

But he couldn't hurt her anymore.

He couldn't hurt anyone. Not put away.

If she recanted.

"My restraining order?"

"It will stay in effect until the trail is over, and there is a clear verdict. I promise you, Mrs. Otsutsuki-"

Hinata flinched visibly.

Karui cleared her throat, the one and only sign of weakness Hinata had yet to witness. "Apologies. Mrs. Hyuga. I've seen cases won with a fraction of what you have in photographic evidence alone. I don't see an outcome that would leave you without one. Or with him a free man to even try and go around it." Karui spoke again, firmly.

Even with the reassurance, every fiber, every nerve, every part of her that made her Hinata did not want this.

Kumo was not Konoha.

Money ruled there. More than laws. More than justice.

Every other person that had testified on Hinata's behalf, doctors, arresting officers, Toneri's former employers, all of them, every single one, had recanted their statements. Through fear, or money, or some other kind of pressure that she couldn't fathom, you know, since she was a decent human being. They had all recanted. The only thing that Toneri couldn't take away, was the photographs already submitted into the court.

If Toneri was ever released, nothing in the word would stop him from destroying her.

She knew that, a deep, unquestioning truth.

It terrified her. It terrified her so much that she was willing to degrade herself even further.

She had restored to going to her father. Had drafted the plans. Rehearsed what she would say. Made an appointment with him. She had arrived at Hyuga Hotel's office dressed as an investor would. She had tried to look like Karui Akamichi, tried to walk with shoulders back, her head up. Tried to face her father as an equal.

She folded as easily as she always had. In the waiting room, feeling like she had been sent home early from school, awaiting her scolding.

She had spotted Ko, she was sure not coincidentally. He greeted her warmly, giving her a bigger hug that she had expected. It had been a long time, they had both been so busy. His hug felt warmer, more comforting that she expected or deserved.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, not without gentleness.

The words died on her lips.

How? How could she ask for help? After they had already taken care of her once. Saved her once. After she had fallen so low.

How many times could she ask them to scoop her up and remake her?

Once had already been too many times.

"I'm here for a consultation." She spoke, strained through a tight, forced smile.

Ko nodded. "I'm very proud of you, Hinata."

It had dropped like an anchor in her chest, ground her heart into reality.

She could not let them down.

When she had finally been admitted into her father's office, her folder had found a new home at the bottom of his receptionist's trash can.

He had stared at her expectantly.

She tried to breath. Tried to sound assertive. Tried to be strong.

"I wanted to ask you some advice. Business owner to business owner."

"Don't ask if you can ask a question. You just ask it." Her father's voice was even. He didn't sound too annoyed or patronizing. It was very matter of fact.

She nodded once. "Have you ever made a mistake?"

"Don't be cryptic." He finally admonished her.

"Sorry." She whispered quickly, and then flinched, knowing that she wasn't supposed to do that either. "I meant… Have you ever made a mistake, in your business? I don't have to tell you how big Hyuga Hotels is. You provide jobs for so many people. Have you ever…" Hinata swallowed. "Have you, made a mistake?"

She finished weakly.

They stood across from each other, staring again. Oh, how she found herself in those positions.

He started into her, with eyes that could see everything. Every lie she had told as a child. Every short coming that she had so desperately tried to hide. He had always seen into her, seen every flaw.

He knew something was wrong. She never would've been able to hide that. Even if she had been prepared to. Which she hadn't. She came ready to bare all her mistakes, all her shame, flat out on his desk, in a prepared folder for him.

Like a scared dog, neck shown, belly up.

But that was wrong.

She was a Hyuga.

She was. Even if she had forgotten.

Hiashi Hyuga steeled his fingers. Nothing else changed. His face was drawn tight. His back perfectly straight, but unstrained.

He paused, before he spoke. "We are a strong company. We always have been. But we are not immune to the world. Stock dips. Recessions."

She chewed her lip. Her fingers fidgeted.

"There have not been many occasions, that anything dire has occurred. My fault or otherwise." His voice wasn't boastful, or self-important.

"When I have erred, I have mended it. Myself. Personally."

She heard him loud and clear.

"I have sold my soul, for this company. For this family."

She nodded. "Yes, father."

It was not a cliché. Or an exaggeration.

She had sold her soul.

Kiba had finally drug her out of her apartment.

She had tried to do her best, to be a good friend. She had got ready when he had asked. She wore a dress from the Boutique. Ino had given her, before for occasions like this. One she had obviously avoided before. Tight, black, short, mostly plain. It looked like a dress that she had tried to wear to homecoming one year, before getting caught.

She didn't feel like herself in it.

She didn't want to feel like herself.

She still didn't even reach Kiba's chin in her heels, though they were high enough to make her wobbly on sober legs.

Sober.

She had been sober since the night Toneri had put her through a glass coffee table. That had been the last time that she had tasted wine. Wine had been her favorite. It was a socially acceptable drink, it didn't raise any eyebrows, and it gave off a pleasant buzz that could be held all night so she could avoid any confrontation with her husband.

But the confrontation she was avoiding now was trickier.

It was with her own self.

Her own worries, her own constant inner monologue of doom.

What if I lose the business? What if I embarrass my family? What if I disappoint them? What if I can't pay Naruto back? What if I fail? Again. What if I never stop failing?

It was the only reason she had agreed to go out with Kiba.

She had hated to be alone when things were looking up. When she had dropped into the false sense of security. When she had actually thought that she could possibly do something successful. Something right.

Now?

Her own presence was insufferable.

No amount of podcast, audiobook, YouTube video could block out herself.

The club was screaming. The beat was booming into her body, clouding her head. But it wasn't enough. She could sit there and watch prettier woman, look like they actually belonged there.

Kiba had started off right next to her at the bar. Nursing shots of something she wasn't sure of. He was too attentive though, asking her too many question. She didn't have the energy for him. She sent him off, to a more outwardly needy girl on the dance floor.

Which left her alone at the bar, with one of Kiba's shots left unattended.

She knew what alcohol could do for her. Silence the inner monologue. Silence all the worries. Sure, it was temporary, but…

It burned on the way down. Vodka. Cheap.

Maybe that was more fitting now.

She wasn't fine wine anymore.

The bar tender gave her a look. She blushed. "Sorry, were here together. Can I get him another one?" She asked.

It had been so long since she had drunk anything more mind altering that an Americano. She could feel the vodka scorching down her throat, like lava, cooling then sinking like rocks into her stomach. She blinked slowly as she felt her cheeks warm. It was only one shot, but she could already feel the fog in her head, clouding her. In her defense, she was the smallest she had been in adulthood, on a diet of vegetables alone, thinned by extensive walking, yoga and stress. She might've even been skinnier than she was in high school.

She had a small framed to begin with.

Shinachiku had asked even noticed.

The bartended set two shots down in front of her, that time. One for Kiba and one for herself?

A sign? Or the bartender just thought she'd want another?

She didn't stop to think. She downed it in one gulp.

"Impressive." The bartender leaned over the counter, smirking at her.

Hinata smiled, tightlipped and light headed. "Thank you." Her voice sounded strange and melded into the music so she cleared her throat, as lady like as she could.

"I get done in a half an hour. If you wanna get out of here." He asked.

Hinata blinked awkwardly. "Um, I came with someone." It had already been mentioned.

"He seems kind of busy." He nodded, smugly to the dancing crowd.

She swiveled on her bar stool in time to catch Kiba through the mass body of people, practically fucking a stranger over the clothes. Hinata turned back around, chewing her lip sheepishly.

"Thirty minutes." He reminded her before turning away.

She could feel the alcohol working. Her face was in an easy smile without her noticing. She felt warming, though her dress probably covered less than a towel. She felt like, if she had a couple more drinks, that she would almost be ready to dance. To maybe hang out with someone like that bartender.

But, his hair wasn't blonde. His eyes were bright blue. He wasn't as tall, or as handsome as she had in her mind. His voice wasn't low and raspy.

He didn't make her feel anything.

Naruto did.

He made her nervous. He made her self-conscious. He made her hyperaware. Sober. Drunk, now, or tipsy, she could finally calm down. She could breathe. She wasn't terrified or unprepared to see him.

She wanted to.

Before she could calm down, before she could cool down, think clear headed, she was texting him. What's the worst he would say? No? That was normally something Sober Hinata would drowning in embarrassment about.

Tipsy Hinata wanted to see a boy. The boy.

He texted her back within a minute. 'Enroute.' Was his reply.

This time, the nerves started to tingle. She swallowed them down and took the second shot. She listened to the music, crushing up a bar peanut, finally feeling…

She didn't know exactly how she felt.

But she didn't want to cry anymore. She didn't want to sit in her shower and never come out.

She just… let herself be.

An arm traveled behind her back, brushing her arm. Her hair stood on end as her breath caught in her throat.

"Sorry, I ditched you." Kiba sat back down next to her, his hand, which had only been on her for a moment, removed.

Her breathing turned back to normal.

"Hey, did someone take my shot?"

She swallowed, looking over sheepishly at him, unable to hide her guilt behind her smile.

Kiba was looking around, scrutinizing their neighbors until his eyes landed back onto her. He startled until he broke out into the biggest shit eating grin she had seen in a while, baring his canines. "Hyuga? Did you steal my shot?"

"I'm sorry." She caved easily, not the best liar when she had all of her wits about her. "I'll get you a new one." Again.

Kiba slung an arm around her, almost knocking both of them onto the floor. "I'm so proud of you, you little Cinnamon Roll." He reached up and pinched her cheeks together a couple of times, giving her fish lips.

She groaned in protest but made no move to get away, not waiting to disrupt their apparent fragile balance they managed on the stools.

"Is this what a normal night out looks like with Table 8?"

This time, Hinata did freeze.

"Naruto!" Kiba yelled, finally relinquishing her face from his grasp. "And no, Hinata is nearly never this fun."

Hinata smiled at their old Biology table number, in high school. She was seated smack dab in between Kiba and Shino right in front of Table 10 but she had been much more preoccupied with a blonde boy, usually in detention at the adjacent table 7.

She frowned at the memory.

"I'm going back in." Kiba left off of his bar seat, sauntering back where he had come from.

"So, picture this. I'm at home. Busy." Naruto slid into the seat, next to her. "Then I get this text."

She smiled, thankful that it would be harder to notice her blush in the dark.

"This girl, that I've been trying to hang out with for months now. She's been giving me the slip."

"She has not." Hinata defended, quietly.

"It's okay. It's okay." Naruto laughed. "Maybe she's just not into to me."

"I doubt that." Hinata whispered. She couldn't even hear herself over the music.

"But then, I get this text from her. Like super rude and pushy."

Hinata scoffed.

"She like, demands, demands," He poked her in the ribs. "That I come out to this bar."

"She sounds like a bitch." Her tongue is loosening up, and she says it too quick for her to catch it back in her mouth.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no. This girl?" Naruto stares at her a little closer. "No. She's like… the nicest woman I've ever met in my life."

Hinata laughs, shaking her head, her eyes closing for a moment. "I doubt that."

"No. She is. Trust me. I'm a reliable source." He nods.

"You should get a drink." Hinata tells him, finally discarding her peanut shells.

He looked too put together. Too zoned in on her. Like Kiba had been. But she can't make herself believe that it was a bad idea to invite him.

She was too excited to see him to get herself to believe that.

"Do I need to catch up?" Naruto moved to get the bartender's attention. "I know you're already drunk."

"I'm not." She protested.

"You wanna know how I know?" Naruto was smirking, teasing her good naturedly. "You're not frowning at me."

Hinata tried to pull her cheeks down, into a pout, but she couldn't manage to overpower the muscles, so instead she put her hand up over her mouth, her only shield.

"No." Naruto protested, poking her in the arm.

The bartender finally made it over, looking to and from Naruto to Hinata, nonplused that his preconceived night was ruined.

"I'll have what she's having." Naruto asked.

"You should get a double." Hinata interrupted.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, causing her to shrink back, embarrassed at her little outburst.

"To catch up." She added weakly.

After a couple drinks that she pressured him into, and some awkward back and forth, mostly carried by Naruto, there was a lull in the conversation.

He wet his bottom lip with his tongue, looking at her for a moment too long, thoughtful. "Do you want to dance?"

The question sobered her for a moment, as she looked over at the dancing mass of bodies again. At how Kiba was treating that girl. Could she dance like that? With Naruto?

"I don't think I'm drunk enough for that." She laughed, trying to brush it off as a joke.

He slid his shot glass slowly until it was in front of her, in line with her sternum.

She looked up at him, questioning, nervous. Her hands felt like there was a time delay in their movements as she cupped it in her hands. She tiled her head back carefully and set it down without dropping it, which was actually harder than she thought it should've been.

"You never really liked dancing though." Naruto added, blinking quick for a moment, letting out a little yawn.

Hinata shrugged. "Tired?"

He shook his head 'no'. "You didn't dance at homecoming. I don't even remember you at Prom."

Hinata looked back down to the grain pattern of the bar. She didn't want to go to Prom. Naruto and Sakura had already got together. It was after Hinata had given him the scarf. All of her feelings were fresh and painful, and she didn't want a front row seat to it. Dressed like a circus clown, in a dress undoubtedly, she would've look ridiculous in. Alone. Without a date. It would've been a horrendous time.

"It's not really my scene." She muttered.

Naruto looked thoughtfully. "Alright, that's fair. What is your scene?"

Even though the follow up question was obvious, she looked over at him, surprised.

"Like, what do you do for fun. Besides work." He added quickly. "Or yoga."

She licked her lips, her head tilting to the side, thinking for a moment. Was she really so pathetic that she didn't do anything else for fun? Her chest tightened, and she leaned back, readjusting herself on the seat, trying to give herself some more time.

"Um," She swallowed, her mouth feeling dry. "Ino gave me some houseplants. We have a couple at the warehouse too."

You're so stupid. She wanted to bang her head on the bar and knock herself out. Hinata Hyuga; doesn't like dancing but likes… plants. Why was she so boring?

Naruto was unaware of herself bullying. "That's pretty cool. What kinds – Hey!" He interrupted his own train of thought, lighting up. "You like walking, too, right?"

Debatable. She couldn't afford to drive a car, or even have the knowledge of operating it if she did. She couldn't afford taxis or Ubers either. The public transit was about fifty-fifty, but walking was by and far the cheapest thing she could do. For her budget, at least. Her heels probably had their own complaints.

"There's this trail, at the community gardens. Have you seen it?" He asked.

She shook her head.

"What?" He asked, shocked. "You have to. Especially now that everything is blooming, or about to be. It's so pretty. We should go." He stopped to look at her more seriously, his smiled still hanging on his lips.

She couldn't break his gaze this time.

"Sometime." He added again, still looking at her. "Me. And you."

She smiled. He was nervous. It was endearing not to be the one that was bumbling. "Okay." She nodded, quietly.

"Yeah?" He asked again. Like he was surprised that she had agreed.

"Yeah."

She shivered under his gaze.

"Do you have a coat?" Naruto asked.

She shook her head

"It's not too cold out, must be the A/C." He offered, like it couldn't possibly be his blue eyes, staring into her soul, or anything dorky like that…

"I look like a skank." The words slipped out, before she could filter it. She looked up, surprised at herself.

Naruto burst out laughing, and her face warmed again with embarrassment. "I would never call you, Hinata Hyuga, a skank."

Feeling more emboldened than she probably ever had before, she shrugged her bare shoulders, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "The night is still young." She looked up through thick eyelashes, meeting his eyes with a playful smile.

Both of them stopped, mulling over what Hinata had just said.

He swallows.

"Do you want to go outside and get some air?" He asked her, the tension between them now palpable.

She bites her lip, her eyes smiling up at him. "One more drink?"

The disorientation, from waking up drunk, was not something that Hinata had ever acclimated to. Especially now, with such a long break since the last time she had experienced it. Her head swayed, like it was a on a bobble spring. She moved to lay back down, trying to find comfort in her body that now seemed hell bent on feeling every kind of discomfort imaginable, in one go, then the nausea struck.

Quickly, eyes still bleary, trying to blink in the darkness, orient herself, she threw her feet over the side of the bed.

She froze. Still.

Her feet were currently pressed into soft carpet.

Her nausea didn't take the same cue as the rest of her. Didn't read the dire situation she was in. She stood up slowly, legs wobbling, feverish, feeling like she was going to die, either from organ failure or-

She moved quickly to the closest door that didn't look like a closet, her eyes just barley adjusting in time. In one fluid motion, she flight the light up, collapsed at the toilet and heaved.

It felt like pure vodka coming back up, burning her far more than it had on the way now. Her eyes teared, the feeling was painful. Her hands shook, reaching for toilet paper to wipe her mouth, her naked body slick with sweat. It wasn't enough.

Finally, when she felt like she had got her stomach halfway under control, she stumbled to the skink to rinse her teeth. The acid from her vomit had made her feel like she had eaten lemon peels.

Her hair was wild and tangled, her bangs askew, either matted to her forehead or sticking out in an awkward direction. Her makeup was smeared about her eyes, her lips cherry red, not from makeup. If being completely naked hadn't tipped her off, there was an obvious hickey on her neck, a little under her ear.

She had only glanced at herself for a second, been in the bathroom for less than a minute, but she was in a frenzy.

She had to get out of there.

She turned back to the bedroom, the bathroom light illuminating the room she had just come from. She would need it to locate her dress. Her shoes. Her cellphone. The light landed on the bed, navy satin sheets that she had first felt upon waking, tossed around wildly, and barely covering the other occupant.

Blinking, because she had only been awake, maybe a minute, possibly still drunk, it took her a moment to register.

Sun kissed, tan skin. Natural. Without any clothing lines. Defined muscles. Dark black tattoo on his stomach. His defined facial features relaxed in sleep, but she knew the sharp jaw. That whisker market cheeks. The tousled blonde hair. His eyes were closed but she knew the exact shade of ocean blue they'd be if he was conscious.

Naruto Namikaze laid out, supine on his head, his decency perfectly covered by the sheet, barley thrown over his lap, but he was obviously, also naked.

Hinata couldn't take her eyes off him. The bulge of his bicep, arm thrown behind his head, bolstering his pillow. His pectorals, the muscles over his ribs, the narrowness of his waist, thicker thighs, the curve of his calves. He was as beautiful as she always thought he was.

Something inside of her shattered into a million, tiny, itty bitty pieces.

Waking up, naked, with Naruto, was worse any stranger she could've concocted for herself. Even a psycho-rapist-serial-murderer would've been preferable.

Before she could stop herself, she had descended upon the room. She located her dress, casually tossed on the floor, stepping into it and zipping it up halfway, just to make sure it would stay up. Her one shoe is also in close proximity, her phone on the bed side table.

The purse was in his hallway, she trips over it, hitting the wall next to her. She's probably still drunk but she can't think about that right now.

"Hi-na-ta?" His voice startles her.

She can hear him getting out of the bed, so she stumbles back onto her jelly legs, hand bracing the wall, leading her out of his place. Her eyes trying to adjust, looking for her shoe as she tries to make it out, alive.

"Hinata," He's getting closer. She decided to abandon the shoe. She can go barefoot. It's probably faster. "It's like four in the morning. Come back and lay down."

She doesn't do any of that. She turns to descend down his steps.

"Whoa, whoa. It's okay." He speaks slowly.

She can see his face change out of the corner of her eyes, because she can't bring herself to look at him. It's like she's an angry cat, ready to attack, but she doesn't want to attack, she just wants to get away.

She can see the way he shifts, from trying to make her feel better to pure dread.

He probably thinks that she's doesn't remember going home with him. That she doesn't remember sleeping with him. That she's going to accuse him of raping her and she'll ruin his life.

It's not true. She remembers everything.

She just wish she hadn't.

"Hinata-"

"I have to go." She finally chokes out, already crying.

"Okay, okay." He placates her quickly. "I can drive you home just-"

She reaches the door. "Just leave me alone." She chokes before running out on the sidewalk, slamming the door behind her.

Her feet freeze on the pavement, the city is still asleep. There aren't any busses, she'll be lucky if she encounters a taxi between Naruto's apartment and hers. But it doesn't matter because she's crying and she deserves the discomfort. She deserves the humiliation and the embarrassment and the pain.

She ruined the last thing in her life that she could look forward to.

But where was the surprise? She had been ruining everything her entire life. Every single thing she had ever wanted or held dear, had been destroyed. Arguably, one could say it wasn't her fault.

But the only common denominator was herself.

She ruined things with Naruto. She ruined everything.


	10. Chapter 10

Hinata wished things were different. That was a broad and blanket statement. There were so many things that it encompassed.

She wished that her childhood had been happier. That she had her mom, or that her father was warmer, more loving. That she didn't feel like she had to compete with her little sister over grades, test scores or extracurricular activities.

She wished that she would've spoken up for herself when she was younger. She wished that she didn't let her friends push her around. That she didn't just quietly go along with what Ino and Sakura wanted, without ever voicing her own opinion. She wished that Kiba and Shino didn't have to do it for her, or she wished that they never did it at all.

That was where the confusion began. A spider web of decisions. For example. She desperately wished that she could've told Naruto how she felt sooner. Before he had already started dating Sakura. Before he himself had latched onto someone else. It wasn't fair of her, to finally admit it then.

She wished, then, that she could've just kept it to herself. She didn't need to give him a Christmas gift and tie all of her feelings onto it, dumping them onto him, making them his problem. She shouldn't have done that. Not when she knew he loved someone else. It was emotionally manipulating. It was unfair to him.

To Sakura too. Not that Sakura herself had every been a model friend to Hinata. But someone else's actions excused hers.

The bottom line was; Hinata knew that Naruto was in love with Sakura, that Sakura had finally agreed to start dating him, and she still chose to confess her feelings to him.

She had been wrong.

One of her big regrets.

Naruto, with all of his faults (and many redeeming qualities), was kinder to Hinata than she deserved. He told no one. Not even his new girlfriend. Allowing Hinata to stay in their friend group, unbothered. Even by himself, who treated her just as normally as he always had.

She wished he hadn't either.

Seeing him every day after that was just another humiliation after humiliation. She started to withdraw from herself. She didn't want to hear about what kind of boyfriend Naruto was at sleepovers, how he kissed or how "stupid" he was. It was like listening to people complain about their children to someone barren. It was just one consecutive heart break after another. She didn't go to Prom. She didn't go to the after-graduation party, after a front hand witness of Naruto proposing to Sakura.

She didn't want to be in that town at all.

At home her father was hounding her about SATs, ACTs, finals, college applications, her grades. Every encounter, every family dinner, every time she spoke with him was another pile on top of her emotionally warped shoulder that could not bear the burden.

So, she left.

Promising Kurenai, who seemed to be the only person concerned about her literally running away from her problems, that she wasn't doing exactly that. "Lots of people take a gap year." She had hugged Kurenai tight, kissing toddler Mirai on the cheek and she had left.

She didn't come back. Not for Naruto and Sakura's wedding. Not when she had specifically been invited.

She regretted that. She wished that she hadn't been selfish. That she could've been the good friend that she wanted to be. That she could've been there, smiling and supporting them.

But she didn't.

She met Toneri Otsutsuki. He was tall, and young, young for a CEO. Definitely older than her. She applied for an internship, when her savings had dried up and she still wasn't ready to come back.

She didn't know it at the time. She didn't suspect anything about him. But she was the perfect victim for him.

She was pretty enough. Kumo had a weird thing about her eyes, that she never understood, even after living there for a decade. Her pedigree was better than other's even if she was foreign. She had been educated correctly to not embarrass him when taken to important functions. She knew the differences between the forks and spoons and when to keep her mouth shut.

She had isolate herself, for him too. Not knowingly. It was just the icing on the cake for him.

Toneri Otsutsuk was a Sociopath. Undiagnosed, for the entirety of their union. It wasn't until a court appointed doctor had done an evaluation on him that validated what Hinata had already figured out, years ago, from first hand observation and WebMD alone.

She was the perfect target, for all those reasons, and an extra one.

She didn't care.

She didn't think to care that him sleeping with her when she was his intern was inappropriate. She didn't see the red flags when he asked her to move in with him only after a couple weeks. She didn't question his marriage proposal after less than a couple months.

When her friends, Kiba and Shino and Kurenai voiced their concerns, she didn't question how angry Toneri got. Didn't question his explanation that they were trying to push them apart. Didn't question his displeasure of her keeping in contact with them, and decided to limit it on her own.

The first time he had hit her even, she had excused him. She knew she deserved it.

Because she was using him.

Using him to take her up time. She didn't love Toneri. She loved that he kept her busy. That he took her to new places. That he got her little gifts. That he bought her alcohol when she was still too young to do it herself. That he overlooked her use of prescription medication, later in their marriage when his rages and abuse had escalated.

She regretted everything.

Then, her own little sister, her baby sister that used to check file folders for her previous elementary school test scores to see if she had beaten them, (she usually had) had to take care of her. In the hospital when she was being fed through an IV because her throat had collapsed, her head had over one hundred stiches keep the skin on her scalp held together.

She regretted that Toneri hadn't just killed her.

She regretted crawling back home, an adult failure, back to her father, back to her summer job she had in high school, back to the place she had tried to leave behind. It was like she never left. Except she had come back worse. Worse than a pathetic eighteen-year-old. If she thought she was pathetic then, it didn't hold a candle to what she was now, ten years later.

Then, there was Naruto. Naruto, who had been a shining success so far in life. Naruto who, somehow, thought there was an ounce of potential in her, used his own money to front her business. She wished that she said no. That she had just kept her head down and worked at Hyuga Hotels until she died of boredom like she deserved.

She wished that she didn't order those coats.

That she didn't recant her statements.

That she didn't go out with Kiba.

She wished that she hadn't drank anything.

She wished that she hadn't invited Naruto.

Hinata had crouched in her shower, as soon as she got home, the water as hot as it could go. It made burning red marks on her skin. She threw up several more times, letting it go down the drain. She sat there, hunched on her feet, holding her legs into her chest, until the water ran cold.

She put on the most comfortable clothes she could find. A thick turtle neck and joggers, with wool winter socks. Over kill for her the spring weather, but her body felt sick, her headache felt shattering. She crawled into bed, pulling up all over blankets, wrapping them around herself.

Then she cried.

She clenched her eyes tight, but that was worse. She could just picture her night with Naruto like she was watching a movie.

He gave her his coat when they went for a walk. She stumbled one too many times, until he laced his arm with hers. She felt the comforting fog of inebriation, it was so easy to smile and laugh at everything Naruto said. When it got to be too late, he got a cab for her, saying that she should head home. She had grabbed him right on the collar and pulled him down, the height difference was significant.

Their mouths slammed together without ceremony. Hinata could've melted like goo. Naruto tasted like vodka, but also something new. Something that made her stomach twist, like it always did when she saw him, but this time not painful. Exciting. Invigorating. He tasted like the way he smelled, when they had sat too close getting coffee. He tasted like something she wanted to have over and over and over again.

They got into the cab together instead.

She had hardly let him talk once they entered his town house. She couldn't get her mouth off his. They stumbled in, almost knocking Shinachiku's science fair project off a table adjacent to the kitchen. She dropped her purse in the hallway, kicked off her shoes. She tugged at Naruto's shirt.

"Are you trying to take advantage of me?" He had asked. Teasing.

She had giggled back into a sloppy kiss, pulling off his shirt, kissing down his chest, pushing him onto the bed. Her hands dropped to his pants, pulling at this belt.

Hinata didn't have a lot of experience initiating sexual advances. Or in doing them as willingly as she would've liked. So, even though her years married should've given her some perceived skills, she felt like an inexperienced teenager.

It's not like he had to work too hard to figure out what she was doing once she dropped to her knees.

"Holy fuck." She could hear him whisper, mostly to himself, looking down at Hinata devastatingly, like watching a natural disaster but enjoying it.

She could feel her cheeks warm, at the assumed compliment, but didn't look away this time. Her eyes locked with his and she watched him bite his lip painfully as she finally took him in her mouth. His hands came up into her hair, brushing up the side of, his fingers moved to grab a fist full. She tensed, waiting for him to pull or yank, but he didn't. Instead his fingers flexed, like a deliberate attempt to not pull and stead, rubbed down her temple, letting his fingers rethread through. Almost like he was petting her but not demeaning, more loving.

It didn't last for very long. Not that he didn't. He grabbed her only after a few seconds. Maybe minutes. Time was a little fuzzy. He grabbed her onto his lap, pressed hot, open mouth kisses onto her. Both of them tugged her dress down, frantically, tripping it off and dropping it off to who knows.

That's not what she was thinking about. What she was thinking about was Naruto's hands on her chest, the way he kissed her neck. The way she felt to grind on him. Straddling him. Riding him.

Hinata pulled herself up in bed, crushing her fists into her eyes sockets. He must think I'm such a skank. A whore. She sobbed. She sobbed and cried until she got sick again.

She tried to sleep. She was exhausted. They had gotten very little sleep the night before. After a while, her eyes hurt to cry anymore. Her head ached with a hangover and the weight of the world.

She knew where she had to go.

She did not want to go.

Alcoholics Anonymous.

Synonymous with shitty coffee and cigarette smoke. And members that should really just take their own ass back to Narcotics Anonymous and stay there.

Though famous, or infamous, it was not that statistically successful. They say, forty percent of people stop attending after only a few meetings. It is estimated that only ten percent of alcoholics "recover" or retain sobriety from AA, though AA itself boats a whopping seventy-five percent. AA stating that the twenty-five percent were "not using the program effectively".

Hinata thinks that Kurenai was right. That this whole thing is ridiculous. She has never like AA. It made her uncomfortable.

Usually older, men, with worst life experiences than her own. A lot of mentally ill people too, that she thinks deserve more psychiatric help. A lot of the aforementioned drug addicts that are there to check off the boxes. To go because they are supposed to.

Like her. It feels like something he has to do. At least to say that she did it, if her therapist is so keen to ask. A check mark off a box that she completed.

The therapist she no longer has. But she had lost control. Lost a handle on things. So she comes here.

But…

If she could really be herself. If she could say the things that she wanted to say.

She would say that the whole program is complete bullshit.

The First Step, forces the person to admit that they are powerless over alcohol. The Second, ask the person to accept a higher power, and it will restore their sanity.

Kurenai was right. The whole thing is bullshit.

But there she is. In a turtle neck, sweatpants, and wool stocks sticking out of her tennis shoes. In the back row. Her hair, dried weird in bed, had to be put into a bun, her bangs decided to do their own thing. She let them.

She'll sit in the back row, and attend her meeting. Say the things that she's supposed to say. So that maybe, in all the ridiculousness, she'll find the peace.

There's a ten percent chance, after all.

The meeting is started with a prayer. Always. The Serenity Prayer.

"God," The voices in the room echo, dozens of alcoholics join together as one mass, a mass, of everyone.

And no one.

"Grant me the serenity. To accept the things I cannot change."

But, when someone drops down next to her, in the furthest back row, when there are dozens of empty chairs, she knows that her own personal peace has dropped down to less than that.

"The courage to change the things I can."

Because she knows the man who's sat down next to her. The man that had played a key piece in her misery of that last couple days.

"And the wisdom to know the difference."


	11. Chapter 11

Thick, dark ponytail. Trimmed goatee. A dark tan, not hiding the perpetual exhaustion marked by even darker circles under his narrowed eyes. He had the look of being completely bored with everyone and everything, but she knew from personal experience that he was sharper than a hawk.

Shikamaru Nara, in a basic t-shirt and jeans. His face was creased with age, but more so than the rest of the group seemed to be. Bad genetics? Carcinogens and free radicals? Not enough antioxidants. Stress? He always seemed to hold more than everyone else, creases had formed in between his eyebrows when they were still in high school. His shoulders held more tension then they had ever been designed to, evolutionarily.

No wonder he always needed a nap.

"How did you know I was here?" Hinata whispered at him through the announcements.

"I'm a genius." He looked at her completely deadpan.

She looked at him in awe.

Then all of a sudden, he scoffed rolling his eyes. "Did you really believe that? God. This is my 'home group'. It's not like you're hiding, you're sitting by yourself in the back." He leaned back in his chair, lazily. "Fuck, you people give me way too much credit."

Hinata winced.

Too much credit. They had trusted him with the Iron Country proposal. Not trusted though. Forced. Coerced. Guilted him into it. He had specifically stated he had no desire to do it. That he was underqualified.

She wanted to apologize now. For doing that to him. She had felt uncomfortable about it before, but now, with the outcome... Adding to his plate unnecessarily. He hadn't deserved it.

They should've hired a real lawyer, for the proposal. Or had not reached so high, their hubris getting the better of them.

"If there is anyone in their first thirty days, please introduce yourself." The speaker had finished the designated readings, and paused for the introductions.

Shikamaru looked at her, more judgmental than she was used to on his normally apathetic face.

She pouted her lips. There was no way she was saying the dreaded, 'Hi, I'm Hinata, I'm an alcoholic'.

Not for the twenty-four-hour sobriety chip. Not for anything.

The moment passed without her.

"Any birthdays?" The speaker asked.

Birthdays in AA were not from the date of birth, celebrating together like some office cubicles. AA gave out chips, starting from twenty-four-hours, to thirty days, monthly until six months, nine months and then a year. Each chip, each milestone, was a "rebirth".

If Hinata had said her name, been given a chip, and probably an awkward hug, from a different woman in the group, thirty days from then could've been her first "birthday". She had no intention of making back to celebrate.

They sat through the rest of the one hour meeting in relative silence. She didn't think anything about it, until after, when they all stood together, forming an awkward, uneven circle around the room.

Shikamaru stuck his hand out to hers. She grabbed in, awkwardly, frowning at the unwanted contact. It was even worse with stranger on the other side. She couldn't even meet his eyes.

"Our Father, who art in heaven," The started together. Hinata, never having gone to church as a child, and had fewer meeting that she was supposed to was unfamiliar with the prayer that so many had memorized.

She finished it, quietly enough so she didn't embarrass herself, jumbling up the words.

Shikamaru held up a carton of cigarettes, after they funneled outside.

It was like an A.A. tradition, not to be confused with the Twelve Traditions (those also not to be confused with the Twelve Steps). Smoking beforehand, smoking after. Sometimes, even during the intermissions and announcements. Especially if the person was trying to get out of donating.

They stood out front of the building, away from the dozens of other people, huddled together.

The cigarette felt uncomfortable between Hinata fingers. The smell was giving her a headache. She took a deep breath and put the dry paper between her lips and took a soft pull. She breathed it out, instantly, trying to suck back in fresher air, just avoiding a hacking fit by a hair.

Shikamaru smirked, breathing out a cloud expertly.

"So, why are you here?" Here asked, in between drags.

"Why does anyone come here?" Hinata deflected.

He wasn't having any of that. His eyebrow raised, lazily.

"My therapist suggested it. When-" She caught herself, before she gave out too much personal information. "When I moved back here."

"I haven't seen you here before."

When she was living at home, she had gone to a group on the nicer part of town, but not very many times.

"I haven't been going. Kurenai thought it was unnecessary."

"Not everyone's opinion is correct. Obviously. Even when they're right other times. Even if you want them to be right. Even if they are just looking out for your best interest, as in Kurenai's case." Shikamaru breathed out a puff of smoke and tilted his head back, looking up at the sky. "Such is the folly of the 'opinion'."

Hinata held the cigarette further away from her, not wanting to smell it anymore but not putting it out just yet. "What is your opinion? Of this?"

Shikamaru put the cigarette loosely between his lips, freeing up his hands. He reached into his pocket, grabbing out a well-used wallet, the brown leather soft with creases. He fiddled in his coin section before dragging out one, much too big to be a quarter.

It was around one inch diameter. The metal was painted a shiny gold, with black detailing. The AA triangle engraved on the front, with the pillars labeled; unity, service, recovery. Around the circumference was the moto 'To Thine Own Self Be True'. A five-year chip, marked with the roman numeral V. On the back, etched in tiny letters, was the entirety of the Serenity Prayer.

It was hefty, not plastic like the twenty-four hours coins were. The first ten coins one could obtain through AA, detailing sobriety from the last drink till nine months dry, were plastic, flimsy and made from one color.

Not as intricate as the later ones. Not as important. Though that could be argued against.

"Congratulations." Hinata smiled, warmly handing it back.

She meant it.

She might not have felt anything special about the program, but she would never stick her nose up at someone's health and wellbeing. Someone that she considered her friend.

"I started coming, after my dad died."

Shikamaru was not usually an over sharer. But such was the nature of AA. It was just the influence of environment. Hinata welcomed it gladly. Any distraction was good with her. That is why she had come here in the first place.

"My wife wasn't putting up with it. The drinking. She doesn't put up with a lot, in the first place. I could either get sober or find somewhere else to live."

Hinata frowned, feeling the weight of someone else's trails for once. Just a fraction of it, but it was heavy.

"At first, the group just made for good accountability. Kept me straight. But there's something deeper to it too. To the Steps." He added cryptically.

"What do you mean?" She asked easily.

"Control. That the real underlining problem, isn't it?" He looked exactly the way he did in high school when he had won at Chess match. Or right before he won. When he knew if before his opponent.

Even then, he had held an heir of superiority. Especially around Ino or Sakura. Women that he thought were too vapid and annoying for him. He had always held a few misogynistic tendencies. Hinata had always let them slide. He didn't hold a candle to he father, after allr. But also, she usually avoided confrontation, with him or anyone else. Thus, avoiding his perpetual annoyance or degrading comments.

"Control?"

He nodded, humming. "The source of the addict. Not counting genetic and social factors." He added more to himself. "You can't control the situation, your feelings, you can't relax. You have to resort to the drink. You know the drill. They cycle."

Hinata frowned. She didn't think of herself as a control freak. She wasn't bossy. She tried to be genial and complacent.

Wasn't that her problem?

"You disagree? Please, Ino says your work ethic is unhealthy, at best. I know you make all the business decisions." Shikamaru eyed her.

She tried to school her face back to impassive, to give herself away so openly.

"With Naruto, too. Isn't that why you avoid him? He's not one that anyone can predict conversation with easily."

"I don't-"

"Hyuga, I work with him. He talks about you enough. The picture is painted vividly."

She blanched. "W-w-what does he say?"

Shikamaru smirked at her, knowing he had won again.

She frowned, trying not to roll her eyes.

"Not the point. My point was, that if you don't like AA, don't come. But work on the root of your problem."

"And you think that is… control?" Hinata asked, dubious.

Shikamaru licked his lip, dropping his still smoking bud on the ground, digging it into the asphalt with his heel. "But," He emphasized. "That's just my opinion."

After a few more minutes of lighter conversation, another cigarette for him, he was ready to leave. He offered her a ride, but she shook her head.

"I like walking." She finished lamely.

She knew that Shikamaru didn't really give two fucks, he was just being nice. He let it go easily. "See ya."

She walked home, grateful for the fresh air. She still didn't feel her best. But also, grateful, finally, for the time to think.

Did she have a control problem? Maybe? Was that the root of her anxiety? She had no clue. She was not a phycologist. She had no formal training in the matters of her thought process, almost as much of a victim of them than their creator. She also didn't have Shikamaru's intelligence of intellect.

Is that why she was avoid Naruto? It was true, that he made her nervous. But she did want to spend time with him. Obviously.

She took a breath before heading into a convenience store. She needed Plan B. Which was expensive enough, but she halted next to the food.

She hadn't hand anything but vegetables for months now. There were cases of premade foods, of all kinds. And desserts. Specifically, about a dozen little cinnamon rolls, packaged alone.

To Thine Own Self Be True.

She left the store with the Morning After Pill, a cinnamon roll, a hot chocolate and a bottle of NyQuil.

She was going to have a long, good night sleep, and in the morning, she was going to start over. She was going to have another shower. She was going to get dressed, fix her hair. Maybe put some makeup on. And get to work.

Ino, on the other hand, was absent the next morning. Inojin had a fever and she decided to stay home, at least for the morning, until her husband got home.

Hinata understood. Children should come first, at least in her belief. It was easier to get work done sometimes too, when she was lone.

She worked all through the morning, moving around boxes, marking inventory, double checking the spreadsheets. They would need a to store all the coats, in the back, to wait till after season.

Near lunch time, she heard the warehouse door click open.

"Hi," Hinata mumbled, not looking up from the corner she was in, nose deep into her clipboard.

"Hi-na-ta."

She froze.

Naruto stood in the doorway, dressed in another suit and looking just as put together. Just as beautiful.

"Can I talk to you?" He tilted his head, to back onto the street.

She paused, taking a deep breath. She set the clipboard down and followed him out.

"I'm sorry for calling you so much. And texting." He rubbed the back of his head. "And emailing."

She smiled. He had been trying to contact her nonstop. "I'm sorry I didn't answer."

The last time she had stood outside of the warehouse with Naruto had been awkward. She had just had a borderline panic attack, then Naruto had poked her in the stomach and asked her why she had been ignoring his emails. Then Sakura and Shinachiku showed up, which had just made the situation even more awkward.

That encounter didn't hold a candle to the current one.

"I took Plan B. If you were worried about that." Hinata mumbled, looking down at the ground, not being able to make eye contact with him.

"Ya know…" Naruto held up his hands as flat plains. "That was lower on my list than; you thinking I took advantage of you and you hating me forever." He moved one of his hands next to his face, and the other a little below his waist.

"Hinata hating me and thinking I took advantage of her." He bobbed the hand next to his head. "This one, all the way down here, 'Hinata's forms of preferred birth control'." He wiggled his hand next to his hip, even dipping lower, putting his hand half way down his thigh.

She smiled softly, at his obvious display of humor. Trying to lighten the mood for her. It was sweet. And appreciated.

"Well," She cleared her throat, trying not to speak so soft. "I wouldn't say it was my preferred."

He laughed, with her, a little nervously. "Do you, maybe want to go get some lunch?"

"Why?"

Naruto stopped to look at her, surprised. She was a little surprised by it too, but there came a more familiar territory, now that he had seen her naked, and she'd sucked his dick. For heavens sakes, he came inside of her, she deserved a little liberty in conversation.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to hang out with me?"

"Why would I want to hang out with you?" He asked incredulously. "What kind of question is that?"

She shrugged, looking down. She wanted to take it back but, it was important. She needed to know. Why? Why now?

"Because… you're you." Naruto gestured to her.

She let out a breath and looked down the street. She couldn't accept that answer.

"You… you were in my life every single day and then suddenly you just weren't. You kept in touch with everyone but me, until… then, you didn't really with them either. Then… then you're back, and it still felt like you had talked to everyone but me." She wasn't sure if there was an accusatory tone in his voice, or if that was Hinata's ability to make herself believe that everyone was justifiably mad at her.

"When I saw you at the airport, you looked just like when we were kids. Just as pretty-"

"Don't." Hinata interrupted.

"Don't what?"

"Lie. To me. Please." She finished quietly.

"Come on, you look like exactly the same as our senior year – Wait," He paused. "Is that what this is about?" He gestured between them. "About what happened?"

"It's just weird."

"What's weird?"

"That you want to spend time with me now. That you're interested in me now. When you didn't even think about me when we were actually friends."

"Hinata, you were one of my best friends." Naruto pressed. "If it's about when you told me you loved me-"

Hinata's eyes snapped shut like he had hit her. "Don't." She pleaded, her voiced choking in her throat.

She hadn't even noticed that she was hugging herself, until Naruto's hand grabbed hers, pulling it off her other arm. He had stepped closer, so she could smell his cologne. He rubbed his thumb across her knuckles softly, more precise and gentle than he was with most things.

"You were the first person that I ever heard say that to me." He said, very quietly. He reminded her of Shinachiku just then, looking down, almost bashful. "The first time I heard it, directed at me. That someone else in the world loved me."

Tears welled in the corner of her eyes. "That's really sad."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders, dismissively. "It's just the truth. I know, believe me, I know that it's a really shitty excuse, but, I didn't have parents. I didn't really have anyone, to teach me about that shit." She could hear the strain in his voice. "I had these preconceived things that I thought I had to accomplish. I tried to be really funny. I tried to be the best at sports. I joined the military so people would salute me. So I'd be cool. Really stupid and shallow shit."

"It's not stupid." Hinata tried to defend his younger self.

He nodded. "It was. It was a stupid kid trying to give his life meaning. Without any guidance. And one of those things was getting the girl. That girl that everyone else wanted."

The girl that was not Hinata Hyuga.

"Yes, that's shitty. I know it is. And obviously, I don't know if you noticed or not," He said, more with a dark humor. "I didn't really work out."

His divorce. His shared custody.

"You, you told me you loved me. Even if I was a piece of shit, I still hung onto that. I didn't know fuck at all about my own feelings. Not for a long time. I just knew that you were gone. That you didn't talk to me. That I must've fucked up. But I didn't stop thinking about you. I'd think about you at random times. I think about stuff we used to do together, or something funny you said. And yes, before you interrupt me, you were funny." He squeezed her hand again.

"Then, when I saw you at the airport, after I knew you had been back in town, that you must've been divorced or something, because you were staying back with your dad. That you still hadn't talked to me. That you were still pretty. Still funny. Still smart as fuck. Ino had told me about the boutique. I just wanted to help you. Maybe repay you."

"Repay me for what?" Hinata asked.

"Hi-na-ta, I literally just told you that you were the first person in my life who told me that they loved me." He swallowed. "It meant – it means a lot to me."

Hinata bit her lip and pulled her hand out of his. He stood up to his full height, confusion and shock written on his face. But Hinata slowly wrapped her arms around him, pressed her cheek against his chest. His arms came around her too, pulling her into a hug. They stood there, for a moment, together and alone on the quiet street.

"So, what do you want?" She asked him, softly.

He pulled back to look at her. "What do I want?"

She nodded.

"Well, first thing, to apologize. I'm sorry for upsetting you. For sleeping with you, when you didn't want me to."

"I did want to." She interrupted.

"You did?" He asked, unable to keep the smile off his face.

Her cheeks flamed red, and she had to look away from her. Her arms started to drop too, until he grabbed them back.

"That makes me feel a lot better, because I had a pretty good time."

Hinata pouted, drowning in her embarrassment. "Stop."

"Okay, okay, sorry." He laughed, hugging her again. "But, why were you so upset? When you left."

Hinata bit her lip. "There was… there was a problem. Here." She gestured back towards the door they had come from. "I was really upset about it." She finished lamely.

"What is it? Do you need help?"

"No." She interrupted, quickly. "No. I took care of it."

There was an awkward pause after that before Naruto nodded okay. "Alright. 'Course you did. You super smart with all that stuff."

Even though she had Naruto's hands on her, something that she never thought would happen. Could never even dream of. There was the hollowness, of remembering what she had to do. What she had done, to get the money. To "fix" it.

She felt a lot of things. Least of all was smart.

"For what else I want… I just wanna spend time with you." He licked his bottom lip, waiting.

Spend time with her. Naruto Uzumaki. No. Namikaze. He wanted to spend time with her.

What did her true self want?

"Okay." She whispered.

Naruto's hand tightened in hers. "Yeah?" He asked again. For clarity.

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

"Sweet!" He laughed. "So, lunch? I'm starving."


	12. Chapter 12

The community gardens were beautiful, at least from the outside. The flowers had just started blooming in the spring time, and the weather was just warm enough to make a pleasant outdoor walk.

The only lull in the plan, was Shinachiku Namikaze-Haruno’s willingness to proceed. 

“But there’s bugs.” Shinachiku had his hands pressed against the window of his father’s car, pressing his face against it like thick prison Plexiglas. 

“I have bug spray.” Naruto had already go out of the car. His door was open, so he could still speak to his son who was not getting out.

“What if I get a sunburn?” Shinachiku eyed him.

“I have sunblock.” 

“What if… someone steals my DS.” 

“I’ll lock the car.” Naruto promised.

“What if I fall and get hurt? What if there’s a bear?”

Naruto braced his hand on the top of the car door, to lean closer to his sons, face to face. “Then we’ll die. And honestly, if a bear somehow makes its way into town, into the garden, specifically driven to kill us, I mean, then, that’s the way we go.” 

“Dad!” Shinachiku pouted.

Naruto blew a raspberry, tilting his head back in disbelief. “Shina, you know I would suplex that bear in like, six seconds.” He held his hands out, puffing up his chest. Like he was gesturing to how obvious that outcome would be would be and how obviously amazing he was.

“Dad,” His son whined, in the age-old tradition of being completely exhausted with one’s parents. “Bears are way stronger than humans. Even you.” 

With the obvious flaws in his father’s plans fleshed out, Shinachiku still ended up conceding and hopped out of the car.

“Don’t listen to him, I could totally protect you from a bear.” Naruto winked over at Hinata.

She had been watching the interaction between father and son fondly, standing a little off to the side as to not interfere with Naruto’s parenting. 

Spending time with Naruto was actually a much more positive experience than Hinata’s anxiety had originally foreseen it. And not as nearly disruptive to her life than she expected from Naruto either.

Naruto just seemed to pop up, even more so than he had previously, in her day to day. He made it a point to see her after her yoga class. He made lunch plans. He worked a lot, but he tried to dinner a couple times a week. 

The one true conflict that came up, was Shinachiku. Naruto’s time with him was weekly, every other. When Naruto had his son, he, naturally, had to be focused on him. Which Hinata admired and respected. But when Naruto didn’t have Shinachiku, and thus freer afternoon time, time he would want to spend with Hinata – she happened to be his baby sitter. 

Naruto had suggested the community garden to her previously, and it was a family friendly activity, even by his less outgoing son’s standards.

“T-pose.” 

Shinachiku jumped to attention, arms out, head up, patiently waiting. Hinata watched Naruto crouch down, to be face to face with Shinachiku and with much detail and care, sprayed his son arms and face down with sunblock and then bug spray. 

“Hinata, do you want some?” Shinachiku asked, politely.

He had dropped the ‘Mrs.’, she was sure from his father’s not so subtle suggestions. 

“Yes please.” Hinata smiled.

Hinata held her hand out for the bottle but Naruto licked his bottom lip, raising is eyebrow, his smirk was showing off a little dimple near one of his whisker marks. “T-pose.” He enunciated.

Her cheeks flamed, her lips pouting to fight down her smile but she complied. The spray was cold on her arms. His rough hand trailing down her skin after it, rubbing it in. She could only look down, eyes trained to the ground, unable to match the intensity in his. She glanced quickly to Shinachiku, maybe embarrassed for him too, but he was preoccupied with saving his game, before he was forced to abandon it, left behind in the car. 

“You’ve got to rub it in, Hinata.” Naruto smirked, stepping closer to her. 

She bit her lip. 

She might’ve had sex with him already, but it was just the one time. In her defense, she had also been inebriated. 

In reality, being next to him was still a dizzying experience. He was tall, and muscular, and tan and handsome, even in jeans and a t-shirt. He smelled good too, something that a handsome man would smell like, more expensive than she expected. His smirks were boyish and playful and he was kinder than she remembered him being. Thoughtful.

All of him together was something of a drug. The potent combination of him made her want to wrap herself in him, tight like a blanket. 

Really, it just had her looking at him in quick glances, awkwardly bushing. 

After he was finished, he had barley misted himself with bug spray before putting both the canisters, and Shinachiku’s DS, into his glove box.

“Mom says that sunblock is important.” Shinachiku frowned at his dad. 

There was a pause, in the light attitude that had formed in the little group. Hinata looked between the two boys and then away. She didn’t have a part in the conversation. In any conversation like that.

That was another, extra dynamic, trying to navigate her new found, not relationship, not friendship, whatever was going on with her and Naruto. The dynamic of Shinachiku. She was not his babysitter when they were with Naruto. She was just his dad’s… friend? 

“That’s why I put it on you, bud.” Naruto interceded easily, shutting the car door behind him. 

He locked it with a quick click-click of his key fob, before putting them in his pocket. “Let’s go!” He shooed them good naturedly towards the garden. 

Hinata had to admit that the garden as beautiful. Even just at spring time, when a lot of the flowers had just been placed there, probably from greenhouses. She knew it would fill out more, as time passed, but it was good enough for her now. As it was. 

There were beautiful trees all around, and flowers that Hinata hadn’t even heard of, would never be able to identify. She thought that maybe, some of the long rows that were planted, by color, were tulips, but she wasn’t that savvy. She did like them a lot though. 

Especially the sunflowers, that obviously didn’t need a trained eye to be identified. Only about a foot tall, with, flowers the size of fists. She knew that could get bigger, grow taller than a person, it taken care of correctly. Their massive stalks stretching towards the sun as the flowers followed it across the sky. 

A personal favorite. 

There was a little park, near the sunflowers. Not very big, with just a few children playing around it. 

“What am I supposed to do here?” Shinachiku frowned. 

“Um, it’s called ‘playing’, bud.” Naruto smirked at his son, leaning back onto the park bench.

“It smells weird.” The younger boy huffed.

Naruto smiled while rolling his eyes. “It’s called ‘the outside’.” He took a deep, exaggerated breath and sighed. 

It was probably all the mulch, insulating the soil for some of the more temperamental flora. 

Shinachiku kicked his foot into the dirt before finally retreating to the scant amount of playground equipment. 

“I feel so bad.” Naruto threw his arm around the back of the bench, almost around her shoulder, but further back, perched on the wood.

He did scoot closer to her though, where her shoulder was almost brushing against one of his toned pectoral muscles. She was immersed in his smell again. It was just as distracting, intoxicating. She had to purposely zone back into the conversation. 

She had paused for too long, making it awkward after a few beats too many, when she finally took the bait to his question. “Why?”

“My son. I broke him.” Naruto gestured. 

Shinachiku was standing in front of the only slide, peering at it sideways. A little girl had queued up behind him, but he had side stepped out of the way, shaking his head adamantly when the little girl had still offered for him to go first.

“I was given a perfectly good kid, and now look at him.” Naruto laughed. 

Hinata smiled too, watching Shinachiku avoid another little boy, rubbing his hands on his pant legs, nervously. 

“He’s a good kid.” Hinata put in her two cents.

Naruto shrugged good naturedly. “Yeah, sure, like objectively.” They laughed for a moment. “But, I don’t know. He just seems so, little.”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

Shinachiku seemed like an averaged sized nine-year-old. She didn’t remember him being bigger than Shikadai Nara and Inojin Yamanaka. If her memory served her correctly, they had all looked around the same exact height and size, or close enough. None of them truly being a standout. 

“I don’t remember being that little. Even when I was that age.” 

Hinata tried not to frown, finally looking at Naruto’s face. She knew him, as a nine-year-old. He had been rough, dirty, angry, loud. Not like Shinachiku. Not childlike. Shinachiku’s youthfully innocence seemed perfectly preserved, Naruto’s had been ground out quickly, stamped to make room for survival techniques and coping mechanisms. 

Naruto had not had parents to take care of him. He had been shuffled through foster homes and group homes. She had seen bruises on his arms, his clothes torn and ripped. 

Hinata put her hand on his leg. Not sexually. Lower down, closer to his knee. In comfort. “You would have broken that DS by now.” 

Naruto looked down at her, in her eyes, his hand tilting up to touch the back on her shoulder. “Hell yeah. I’d lose one life and just fucking tank it on the side walk, probably.”

They laughed together, watching Shinachiku finally strike up a conversation with a little kid his age near a weathered teeter-totter. 

“Thanks for bringing me.” Hinata finally mentioned. 

“’Course.” Naruto leaned his chin back, side eyeing her. “I told you, I wanted to.”

She ducked her head. “I know.” Her voice was quieter. “It’s really pretty. I like it.”

Naruto’s hand, had stayed close, next to her shoulder, brushing it again. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but Shinachiku had made his way back over to the pair. Apparently, his new-found teeter-totter friendship had struck out. Hinata leaned away from Naruto, a millimeter or so. Just for herself it seemed. Shinachiku hadn’t even batted an eye at the seating arrangement. 

“I’m hungry.” He announced.

“Hungry?” Naruto echoed.

Shinachiku nodded his head, to add to the severity.

“Alright,” He turned to look at Hinata expectantly. “Hungry?” 

She smiled, nodding.

They ended up at Naruto’s town house, instead of a restaurant, which was fine by Hinata. She hadn’t seen his house since recklessly abandoning it on bare feet in the middle of the night. Drunkenly crying in shame. 

It was much nicer the next go around. Sober. In the day time. When she wasn’t having an emotional crisis. 

He had a town house, in the city. It was smaller than she expected him to have. But even as small as it was, it still probably cost a small fortune, to be this close into the city-center as it was. It was plainly decorated, if you could call it decorated at all. But the small, little touches that were there, were distinctly Naruto. It looked to only be a two bedroom, two-bathroom split level. The kitchen and the living room on the bottom floor. 

“Ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly?” Naruto asked her, walking into the kitchen. 

“Are you making the food?” Hinata asked, trying not to sound as surprised as she was. 

He nodded. “Yeah, but don’t worry. I’m better now.”

She smiled, easily thinking about enough of Naruto’s inept cooking experiences to fill a book.

“So?” He prodded.

She chewed her bottom lip. “Peanut butter and jelly.”

Naruto shrugged his shoulders, reaching into the cabinet. “Good ole PB ‘n J.” He hummed. “You would pick that.”

She wrinkled her nose. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh nothing.” He sang, smirking over at her from his loaf of bread.

“Dad!” Shinachiku slid into the kitchen on his socks. “Don’t forget the carrots.” 

“Have I ever?” Scoffed Naruto. “But there’s no ranch.” 

“What?” His son gasped.

“Gotcha.” 

Shinachiku frowned at his dad, standing off to the side of him like a little mini me. Like an American Girl doll, that Hinata had when she was a little. That looked just enough like her to make it uncanny, even strange, but still with some obvious differences.

“Don’t even joke about that.” Shinachiku frowned. 

Naruto looked at Hinata dead in the face, very gravely. “Hidden Ranch is serious business around here.”

She nodded along with him.

“You’re not being funny, dad.” Shinachiku huffed. “Carrots are – Hey! Hinata, my project. Come check it out.”

He rushed to grab her hand, tugging her away from his father and the kitchen. She looked back, to smile apologetically about abandoning Naruto alone, making sandwiches. He had paused, still holding a loaf of bread by the plastic packaging. He was watching them leave, with a look that was a little more than passive observance. 

She blushed when their eyes met, she felt caught in something but he just smiled at her. 

“The bedrooms are upstairs.” Shinachiku explained.

She was aware, obviously, but let him pull her along anyways like she didn’t. 

There was a little table at the top of the stairs, she was sure it was designed for holding knickknacks and family photos, as a decoration piece. But it was cleared off and displaying, proudly, six clear cups of different vegetables, and a note book.

“They’re growing!” Shinachiku sounded so excited, and informative, like Hinata wouldn’t believe it. 

Perhaps forgetting that it was her that had brought him the knowledge in the first place. She didn’t mind though. His green eyes were wide, his mouth was wide and smiling. Quickly he leaned forward, eye to eye with the cups. 

“I make the notes in this book.” He pointed to his notebook, opening up to his own, large script, a little sloppy, but good enough for a nine-year-old boy.

“When the data is all in, we’ll put it all together, right?” Shinachiku looked up to her.

Hinata leaned back. Why would Shinachiku want her to do his project with him? He had a perfectly good dad and mom. Why would he ask his babysitter?

He wasn’t waiting for her answer. He had a cheap ballpoint pen in hand, making quick notes. “Garlic. Celery. Onion. Roman.”

“Romaine.” Hinata tried to correct, as nicely as she could.

Shinachiku winced, embarrassed. “Whoops.” 

“It’s okay.” She pressed quickly, regretting the interjection. 

“Romaine.” He emphasized the correct enunciation. “Sweet potato. And carrot.” He ended on his favorite, giving the orange plant a much warmer smile than the others received. “Dad said I could eat it when were all done.”

She smiled, holding in her laugh. She didn’t want him to think she was making fun of him, but it was too cute for her to contain. 

“Do you think I could ever have an unlimited supply of carrots?” He asked, though more to himself, resting his chin on the table to gaze at it more evenly.

Hinata shrugged. “Maybe that can be your next year’s project?”

“Whoa, really?” He snapped back up.

“If you want.”

“That would be so cool. I could have my own carrot farm, but from old carrots. In the cups. I hope they taste good. Let’s only do it if it tastes good.”

Hinata smiled at Shinachiku’s rushed excitement. She nodded with him.

“Project still there?” Naruto was standing at the bottom on the stairs, leaning on the banister. 

“Yep! They’re still growing.” Shinachiku bounced on the balls of his feet exited to inform his father. 

“Sweet.” Naruto grinned, in the perfect way to foster all of Shinachiku’s happiness.

Hinata’s heart beamed.

“Lunch is ready.” Naruto finally turned his attention from Shinachiku to give her a little wink before headed back into his kitchen.

Shinachiku bounded down the stairs without a second thought. 

Hinata herself was much more content to stand there, simmering in her own embarrassment. She got caught ogling him. She groaned, rubbing the crease in between her eye brows. This is precisely what her anxiety had thought would happened, spending time with Naruto. Luckily, it was few and far between. In the meantime, waiting for her next mortifying moment, she couldn’t just stay hiding in his upstairs. 

“Hinata, sit next to me.” Shinachiku patted the seat adjacent to him.

Naruto’s kitchen was cozy, and had a small square table that could seat four. The seat that Shinachiku was kindly patting for her, was right across from Naruto. There was a circled white luncheon plate with a peanut butter and jelly, on wheat bread, cut in half evenly. With a side of carrot sticks. 

“Thank you.” Hinata said, to both the boys. 

Shinachiku and Naruto bantered easily together while they ate, though the conversation quickly turned to Hinata.

“Hinata’s my friend.” Shinachiku argued. “She’s my babysitter.”

“Hinata was my friend before you were even born.” Naruto countered.

“Well, Hinata helped me with my project.”

“Childs play.” Naruto scoffed. “She used to let me cheat off her homework.”

Shinachiku’s jaw dropped. “You cheated?” He shrieked. 

Naruto paled, as he just realized what he had admitted to, right to his very impressionable adolescent son. “Shi- well, it was her fault. She offered.” Naruto turned his eyes onto her, in a mock glare. “Temptress.”

Hinata herself snorted behind a covered hand. 

“You make me do my homework myself.” Shinachiku spoked slowly, frowning at her.

“I’m sorry.” She smiled at him.

“Can you do my project for me?” Shinachiku’s green eyes glimmered.

She could feel her resolve weakening at his cherubic little, smiling so sweetly at her. Her heart clenched. “I promised I’d help you with it.” She tried to ease him down as gentle as possible.

He pouted.

“Come on, Shina. Cheating is for losers. I got caught a bunch and had to get an F or redo it anyways.” Hinata was surprised to hear Naruto admit that so honestly to his son. 

Shinachiku nodded, taking in his father’s wisdom. 

“Well, can we start working on it tonight. You’re already here.” He pointed out. 

“Sharp eye son, she is in fact here, but you have to go back to Mom’s house tonight. So, you maybe might not want to start anything too big.” 

Shinachiku’s shoulders sighed in defeat. “Can you just look over my notes?” He asked.

Hinata nodded. “Of course.” 

“Finish your food first.” Naruto reminded him. 

Hinata helped Naruto clean up afterwards, which wasn’t too hard in the first place. Just three plates and a peanut butter and jellied knife. 

“So, was it as bad as you remembered it?” Naruto asked her, as they stood side by side at his sink. 

“Much improved.” She told him, truthfully. 

He laughed, loading the plates into the dishwasher. “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

“What else are you proficient in?” She asked, blushing a little.

“I’ve almost mastered the average basic food groups for a boy. Sandwiches. Cereal. Mac and cheese. I have to learn how to cook chicken correctly, which took me the longest. My spaghetti is pretty boring but edible.”

Hinata’s eyebrows raised, because it was truly, and honest improvement. “Wow, next you’re going to tell me you can make eggs.”

Naruto turned from the sink to look her dead in the eyes. “Fried and scrambled.” His mask from before snorting, at himself, his eyes crinkling with his laugh.

Hinata swallowed, having to turn away from him. He always had that effect. Like the sun. Sometimes he was just too bright to look at with the naked eye, straight on. Painful. Warm.

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Shinachiku skidding back into the kitchen with his notebook in hand. “Here, Hinata.”

She took a step away from Naruto, if only for a breath, and leaned against his counter top. She leafed through Shinachiku’s notes quickly, just to make sure there was enough information there to make into the project later. It looked thorough enough, especially for his age. His attention to detail was very impressive.

“It looks really good.” She gave him the well-deserved praise. 

“You sure?” Shinachiku asked, nervously. 

She nodded. “Yeah. This is more than enough. You’re going to have a great project.”

“And we can start working on it? The next time you baby-sit me?” 

“I promise.” She did mean it, as well. If that’s what she really wanted, then of course she would help him. 

“I’m going to be the first one done!” Shinachiku fist pumped. “Dad, can I play my game until its time to go?”

Naruto drummed his hand on the counter top a moment while he was thinking. “Is your room clean?”

“Yes.”

“Bags packed?”

“Yup.”

“Weekend homework finished?”

“Yes, dad. You checked it.” Shinachiku huffed. 

“Watch the sass.” Naruto reminded.

Shinachiku pressed his lips together, to hide his pout.

“Alright, if everything is done, you can go play it.”

Hinata handed his notes back to him before he dashed off. 

“Kids these days.” Naruto snorted. “I swear he’s glued to that thing. I have to pry it out of his hands just to remember what his face looks like.”

Hinata smiled, not quite agreeing. Both Naruto and Sakura had set up good boundaries with TV and gaming in her opinion but she wasn’t ever going to argue about that with him. 

“Hey, you should come with me.” Naruto suggested, a little offhandedly. “To drop off Shina. We can go get some dinner, after. If you want.”

“Dinner?” Her mouth felt dry.

“The meal you eat at the end of the day, yes.” 

Hinata frowned at him. “Watch the sass.” 

Both of them froze, the words hanging in the air. Hinata almost visibly flinched, but she was too ‘doe in the headlights’. How could she have said that? Did she want to make him mad at her? She was only trying to be funny, but-

Naruto let out a snort. “Oh, are we being funny, now, Hyuga?”

Hinata licked her lip, trying to get her body to calm down from whatever kind of PTSD induced shock it just went through, without giving away that she was a total basket case. She laughed a little, if only to let some experimental sound out, that wasn’t some kind of sob. 

She helped Shinachiku carry stuff out to Naruto’s car when it was time to go. Which felt weird and personal to him and Naruto’s life. Like she was encroaching into occupied territory, without a treaty. But she was a simple woman. She saw a lot of bags. She offered to carry them out.

It’s not like she could decline an offer of help after it was put forth.

Plus, neither Shinachiku nor Naruto thought it was weird, and seemed to be pressing forth without concern. 

She was trying to follow suit. 

She took a couple breaths. 

“Do you have everything?” Naruto double checked as they got into the car.

She buckled herself in. 

“Dad, I know I know. Double check. Triple check. Hurry up and wait.” Shinachiku gave his dad a mock salute.

Naruto turned around and frowned at his son, unamused. 

“You better get good grades, Shina, because you would not survive the first day of boot camp.”

“Sir, yes sir!” Shinachiku shouted from the back, having not taken the hint from his father to shape up. “Everything is checked and accounted for, Sir!”

Naruto’s jaw jumped, and for a second, Hinata thought he really was going to snap. Her own father would not tolerate any of that kind of behavior. But he just shrugged his son and started backing out of the driveway.

“Well, if you forgot something, better hope you can live without it till next week.” He threatened while still using his normal speech. 

“Aye-aye sir.”

Naruto’s lips made a tight line. “You’re going to lose the DS.”

Shinachiku froze. “Sorry, Dad.”

Predictably, Hinata did not go inside Sakura’s apartment to drop off Shinachiku. That would’ve been a whole box of awkward that she was a thousand percent not ready to deal with. Her and Naruto didn’t have any particular agreement between each other, no label to define them. Just two adults hanging out was fine, until you added a child and an ex-wife. 

So, sitting in the car and manning the meter was just fine with Hinata. Even when Naruto took the better part of thirty minutes inside of Sakura’s house. 

After about five minutes, Hinata broke down and started checking emails. She was trying to separate work and life, relinquishing her control, but… it was just emails. 

What she wasn’t expecting was an email from Karui Akamichi. 

She stopped, setting her phone back onto her lap and looked out the car window, to make sure that Naruto wasn’t about to hop in.

Hinata decided to leave it unopened. She didn’t need that ruining her time with. She was still waiting back to hear about the deal she had made. She need a lot more time, alone, to deal with the after math of that. 

“Sorry I took so long.” Naruto apologized. 

Hinata smiled and waved him off. Open communication and a cortile relationship with Sakura were a good thing to her.

“Hungry?”

She nodded.

“What’s your pick?”

She mulled it over for a moment. “Noodles?”

“Oh, hell yes.” Naruto fist pumped. 

Spending time alone with Naruto was like a long stretch of them, when they were washing the dishes. It was easy enough at first. Easy conversation. Slurping noodles. But there were moments, every now and then. The cold spot. Where her stomach turned to knots, and she realized that she was alone with her crush of two decades. 

But now she was old and washed up and used and ruined and any minute he would realize that. He would be disgusted and get up and leave right out of Ichikraku, not even bothering to throw her away. 

And could she blame him? That’s how she would treat someone’s trash.

“Do you wanna go back to my place?”

As an adult, that question could be benign. Or loaded. It was hard for Hinata to discern them. 

But the movie preview wasn’t even half over until she was half on his lap, half on his couch, popcorn set carefully on the floor so it wouldn’t be tipped over.

She never realized that kissing someone could be so intimate. His kisses were soft and sweet. His hand on her cheek, cupping her face gently against his. His fingers brushed to her hair softly. He smelled so good, like clean shampoo and cologne, and she wanted to touch him too. His hands were warm, warmer than hers. His fingers brushed down her neck, making every part of her body feel like he accidently shocked her. Her mouth opened in a gasp, but he adapted easily to it, his mouth filling hers.

He tasted almost vaguely like the dinner they had just eaten, but not in a bad way. He also tasted like something dangerous. Something that made Hinata’s heart beat dangerously. Almost like anxiety, with her first reaction to push him away. Run away. Get way.

Her fingers curl into his hair and press him closer, because she’s definitely not running away. In fact, breaking this kiss feels like a world injustice that just should not happen. Naruto seems to feel something along those lines as well, his hands moving to her upper arms, gripping her tight but not too tight, pulling her closer. Her hand fits tightly into his shirt.

She moved softly, fluidly onto his lap, during their kissing which was becoming a little more than kissing. 

Naruto’s fingers dug into her thighs, not too hard but enough for her to make a little sound. He let go just as quickly, pulling back from the kiss. Cold hair rushed back into her mouth, her eyes fluttered from the moment of clarity. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled. 

“It’s okay.” Her voice sounded weird, now. Too loud.

She was still straddling him on the couch, and that realization was starting to make things feel a bit more awkward. She leaned away for a moment, but Naruto caught her arms again.

“Do you, maybe wanna, spend the night… with me?” Naruto rambled, a bashful blush gracing his cheeks. “Please.”

Her tongue felt too big and her throat too small like she was having an allergic reaction or like she had eaten kimchi that was a tad too spicy for pleasure. Butterflies in the stomach was a stupid analogy. If felt like it had tightened down, like a Charlie hoarse but not on her calf in the dead of night but her entire digestive system. It almost felt like her anxiety. The need to dash away, with glazed, dead eyes like a startled deer. But she didn’t want to run away. 

Her head tilted down into a blush, like she was a teenager again and not a fully-grown adult. “I’d really like that.” She finally managed to get out. 

Naruto’s face literally broke into a massive grin, utterly surprising her about the absurdity of his desirable reaction to her acquiescence. She had already slept with him. She had been in love with him since… forever. How could he be the one to show perceived doubt? It was utterly preposterous. 

Without warning, he hauled both of them up, holding most of her weight by her ass, which seemed pointed unnecessary and purposeful in her opinion.

She squeaked. “You can’t just pick me up. I’m, I’m too heavy.”

“Don’t make me laugh.” His voice sounded even huskier when it was an inch away from her face. “You’ve been eating salad for the past who knows how long, you’re lucky you don’t drift away in the wind, Hyuga.” 

It almost sounded like he was scolding her, but his eyes were glinting at her in a way that was both serious and not serious. 

He started heading towards the stairs.

“It’s not even dark out.” Her protest came out reflexively. She was nervous. Almost uncomfortably jittery. She was sober this time. There was nothing to hide behind. 

“Oh, I can make it dark.” He leered at her as he started up the steps.

Did she want it dark? A part of her did want that extra security blanket. But… she had seen his biceps. His neck. If her memories served her correctly, Naruto was a now carved into an immaculate specimen to behold. A pleasant sight to see. To be under. Or on top of. Any which way.

But what was she to him?

They were closing in on his room, and he was nuzzling her neck. It felt unbelievable. 

She had a choice to make. 

She could stop it right now. It would be the responsible thing to do. They were moving too fast. Adults shouldn’t act the way they were acting. On sheer impulse. Like horny teenagers. Or pathetic drunk women. 

He was leaving a hickey again.

“Naruto,” Her voice felt unconnected to her own body, and too loud in the quiet of their kissing.

But not loud enough for him apparently. He moaned into her neck, mistaking his name for her own lost sense in passion. He kicked his bedroom door open, gently enough not to break it, but enough for it to bounce back, a little. He had moved them around strategically, so it bounced off his own shoulder.

“Naruto.” 

“Huh?” He had finally responded, having already kicked the door shut behind them. His tanned cheeks were pinker than normal, his hair messy. 

“Um,” She swallowed. He had gone back to kissing down her neck and onto her should. “Um, m-maybe we should… not.”

Naruto stopped suddenly, almost dropping her. “Wha… why?”

He looked like a deflated balloon, the day after a birthday party. 

“It,” She swallowed. “It just seems kind of soon. And, I’m not really the type that, um, that sleeps around.” She tried to sound true to herself but it was hard when Naruto’s disappointed face was an inch from hers, her legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on her ass.

Naruto made another whimper but nodded his head, letting her slide down from his hold. 

The awkwardness was palpable. 

“I’m sorry. I can leave.” Hinata tried to offer. Anything to make him feel better after letting him down. 

“What – no!” Naruto snatched her wrist. “We don’t have to. We can do other stuff.”

Hinata was trying to avoid the very obvious, well endowed, tent in his pants from their over the clothes action. Plus, the strain of his voice. She wasn’t very sold.

“I promise.” He pressed. “We can watch a movie, or-” He paused, turning his gaze away from her.

“What?” 

She followed his gaze back into his room. Mostly clean, sparsely decorated. His bed was made but there were not decorative pillows. 

“Or,” His attention turned back onto her, catching her like deer in the headlights. He looked exactly like he did in high school. Same sideways smirk. His blue eyes glittering.

She swallowed. She was utterly fucked now. 

“Or, we could just do you.” His suggestion was so nonchalant that she almost didn’t understand it for a moment. 

“What?” She gasped. “That’s a – thing?”

“What do you mean? Yes, that’s a thing.” Naruto defended. “Wait, has nobody ever just done you?”

Hinata was afraid to answer, but her silence was answer enough.

She could practically hear his smile. 

Quickly, he hauled her back up into his arms, and then just as quickly, dropped her onto his bed. She bounced for a moment, creaking the springs, before Naruto joined her, with more grace. 

He moved one hand onto her hip, the warmth of just one of his hands could’ve warmed her whole body. The other went to the back of her head. She froze, hoping that he wouldn’t move to her neck. To her scars. But he didn’t. His fingers splayed in her hair, pulling her into a deep kiss, tongue first. 

His hand dipped under her shirt, and because he was Naruto, his hand roughly felt the length of her side and then down across her stomach. Out the door was tentative touches and little skims. This way was nicer. Almost rough, but his hand was splayed out of her tummy with more care than most people gave him credit for. 

He pulled her up a little more, so he could just discard her t-shirt. He broke off the kiss from her mouth, but didn’t stop kissing her. There was just new territory exposed without the top and he attacked. 

She was enjoying his kissing.

But she was pretty sure she didn’t have enough concealer to mask what Naruto was doing.

The weather was getting too hot for turtlenecks, but there was possibly something at the ware house that could-

Hinata’s train of thought stalled, when he dipped into her bra. Her head fell back onto the bed as she bit down on her lips to keep the sound in. Hands just shouldn’t be able to move like that. She fumed, desperately. 

Soon the bra was gone and he made short work of her jeans too. Though he did have to stand up, off the bed and yank them off her ankles. But, skinny jeans were just like that. 

He laid back down next to her and kissed her on the mouth again. His hand dipped between her legs, brushing experimentally around her and then on her. In her. She stopped breathing entirely.

He licked his lips. “Okay, are you ready for-”

Hinata knew what he was going to do, but grabbed his forearm, freezing him in place. “Don’t stop.” She begged.

“Oh, do you like that?” He smirked.

But she didn’t have time to stroke his ego. At least, not purposefully. 

She was coming undone. It waves of such intense pleasure and convulsions like a seizure, she had somehow managed to finish and embarrassingly as possible. But her whole body felt too locked up to care. She couldn’t even catch her breath. Her chest heaved like she had been sobbing. Her eyes were trying to focus back in on the tiny room. 

Naruto still leaned on one arm, almost side-planking, but his one hand, that was in between her legs doing devilishly delicious thing, had moved up and was now resting on her stomach. 

“Okay,” Naruto leaned even closer. “Level with me. Did you just fake that? I know some girls fake that and-”

“Shhhhh,” She tried to put her finger on his lips but her arms were like Jell-O and she settled for touching his chest. Hinata wanted to sound sterner but she still couldn’t breathe correctly. She felt worse than a newborn calf, because even they could walk! Her legs were not so useful.

Naruto bit his lip before huffing. “Fuck, that’s hot.” He almost sounded like he was in pain.

They both paused, eyes locking. A thick silence filled the room until their faces smashed together in bitter passion. It was intense. More intense than it had been before, kissing easily in his living room. 

She was ripping his shirt up over his head, which was hard to do because his attention was split fifty-fifty with making sure his mouth didn’t leave hers and getting his own pants off. It wasn’t even a minute later, until he was in between her legs, his forearm holding his weight off her, until he was pushing inside of her.

All of her movements were involuntary after that. 

Grabbing him. Moaning into his mouth. She felt her nails dig into his back. His hands gripped her hips, tight enough to make her whimper but out of passion, because Naruto wasn’t the type to leave those kinds of marks. Hickeys, sure, numerous amounts of them up her neck, under her chin, and onto her chest. Those were her favorite. Seemed to be his too, because he spent an exurbanite amount of time on those ones. Surely not egged on by her in any way. 

She really came undone when he said her name. Even if it sounded like he was in duress, she lost it.

“Hinata,” He moaned into her ear, thrusting so deep into her that she was afraid that he’d do physical damage. 

She wanted to curl up into a ball, but her face pressing against his neck, her eyes squeezed shut, all of her clamping down on him all at one. 

“Fuck,” Naruto practically coughed, cumming too, pressing deep into his mattress, like he was trying to leave an imprint of her. 

They were frozen like that for a moment, breathing hard like they had just finished one of Hinata’s yoga-lates classes.

Slowly, Naruto wormed himself around her. Which is not what she was used to. He idly played with the end of her hair, shifting around her split ends. 

“Sorry.” He finally muttered.

“Hm?”

“You said you wanted to go slow, and I… didn’t do that.” Naruto laughed, nervously.

“Oh,” Hinata blushed even though he couldn’t see her. “It’s okay.”

“I can do slow. Promise. One hundred percent.”

Hinata knew that he was saying that because that’s what he thought she wanted. But her heart sunk. Naruto touching her felt like something out of some novel. It wasn’t supposed to be like that in real life. 

And after she’d had it, did she really want to miss out on it?


	13. Chapter 13

Hinata sat, one leg crossed over the other in a posh, upper west side boutique that was all soft, baby pink, chandeliers and satin throw pillows. She herself was wearing a tank top with lace trim, that she herself had sewn at her own boutique. Her legs were more exposed than she was used to, in shorts.

She was trying to be relaxed about that. Trying to embrace the almost summer sun through the street side window.

She was not feeling relaxed.

It wasn't just her clothing that was contributing to this.

"I just think that the succulents are a little boring?" Moegi shrugged her shoulders offhandedly.

Hinata inwardly bristled.

She was sitting right next to the overly opinionated redhead, in the sitting area of a posh dress shop. Hanabi was sharing a love seat with Konohamaru, both sipping complementary flutes of champagne. Konohamaru was still wearing a suit, having come straight from work. Hanabi was wearing a white sundress, also embracing the sunshine and her near matrimonial status. Udon stood awkwardly, hovering near them, and like Hinata, also declining any drinks.

Hinata hated confrontation. But she hated the thought of any part of Hanabi's day being soured, more than her desire to be copacetic.

If Hanabi wanted pearl succulents – then she was damn well getting pearl succulents!

"I think that they're gorgeous and unique. And match the overall theme exquisitely. Plus," Hinata's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, moving in for the kill. "It's a little last minute to change such details."

Moegi frowned, turning away from Hanabi and instead facing off with Hinata. A true head to head. "I'm sure it could be arranged, if it was necessary."

So far, the back and forth had been mostly passive aggressive. But something in Hinata, that was foreign, something she was not used to, snapped.

"It isn't." She instead clipped with finality.

Moegi's lip turned into a snarl before Konohamaru cleared his throat. "Hey, Naruto's here. We can get started."

All her animosity towards Moegi about preserving Hanabi's wedding vision vanished from her mind. Every part of her went on overdrive, trying as hard as they could to remember what "natural" was so they could act it out. Hinata Hyuga impersonating herself.

Her personal dilemma stemming from her sister and co. being completely unaware that she had been regularly sleeping with Naruto Namikaze for weeks now.

Konohamaru had informed the group that he had been stuck in a meeting, with the Hokage. Important business that he couldn't get out of. But the boutique was kind enough to hold their spot for a little less than half an hour. Hyuga money was enough to make anyone cortile like that.

Naruto was wearing that suit again, the one Ino said was Armani, and from Sakura. For the first time in a long time, that made Hinata's stomach feel weird. She watched his own son with his ex-wife without a problem. She even sat outside of Sakura's apartment for thirty minutes while Naruto was hanging out inside and understood completely. Was even happy that they had such good open communication.

So why was a suit the thing Hinata had a problem with? Because she couldn't afford to buy him one? Because it made him a good father to have a good relationship with his ex-wife but keeping her gifts could imply some kind of reminiscence on his part. But they were married for a while. A lot of his things had to be from her.

Not everyone abandoned their entire house and everything they owned in a divorce. That thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. How many things had she left in her house, in Kumo?

Her home had been large. Beautiful. Vast, and up in the mountains, in the clouds. Full of gifts for her. Gifts that tried to make up for the countless things that Toneri thought he could atone for. They didn't of course, but she nodded anyways, smiled anyways, promised that everything was okay anyways. The numerous gifts were always received with gratitude and maybe even a hug and a kiss, if she was feeling up to it.

Or he so demanded.

Naruto gave everyone a quick smile as he entered the boutique. Konohamaru jumped up immediately, and quickly broke into conversation, discussing the meeting that he had not been privy to. That had been for naught, since it seemed that Naruto was willing to divulge all the information anyways.

But not right then.

Hanabi had got up as well when Naruto arrived, but instead, it was to fetch their hostess. The blonde woman, wearing an all-black pant suit arrive back in the sitting room just in time to whisk them back. Hanabi pulled a reluctant Konohamaru away from Naruto, and the couple were engrossed in discussing the details with said hostess.

The pacing needs to be fixed by noting that Konohamaru and Hanabi were more busy speaking with the hostess, and that Udon and Moegi started their fitting, and it was Naruto's turn next.

In the lapse of Konohamaru's company, Naruto slowly drifted over to her.

"Hinata," Naruto smiled at her politely, nodding.

Like she hadn't been sleeping with him and spending the night at his house more times than she'd like to admit in the last couple of weeks.

"Naruto." She smiled.

"You look nice." Naruto smirked.

She could feel his eyes drift around her décolletage and she knew that it would be bright red in a moment. "Thank you. As do you." She replied stiffly. "I like your suit."

She wanted to face palm herself. Why would she say that?

"Do you?" He smiled.

Another hostess, also dressed in posh, all black with fake, platinum blonde hair, appeared next to Naruto with his own glass of champagne. Since he was late, but she hovered around the pair a little longer than necessary.

"Hinata why don't you have one?" Naruto asked.

The girl looked at Hinata a lot less intently than she did to Naruto Namikaze. "Oh, would you like one too?" She asked, as an afterthought.

"I'm fine, thank you." Hinata smiled.

Naruto didn't press her, and neither did the hostess. As soon as the woman walked away, Naruto tilted his head back, exposing his throat, his Adam's apple bobbed with a long gulp. One of his eyes winked of their own accord. He breathed through clenched teeth. "I hate champagne." He lamented.

Hinata's nose wrinkled, keeping down a giggle. "Don't drink it then."

Naruto's eyes, who had been staring into the empty flute, slid over to her. She knew before he even said anything that it was going to be suggestive, just by the body language. Her cheeks had already started to warm, and she quickly glanced around, to make sure that nobody would be there to witness it.

"I like when you're bossy." It finally came, in a low suggestive voice, with an eyebrow wiggle.

"Naruto," She whined. Her cheeks surely bright red.

He smirked again, and she mentally braced again.

"Say my name again." He smirked.

Her lips tried to smile, but she forced them into a pout. She didn't want to encourage him anymore. They were in public after all.

"Go get dressed." She grabbed the cup from him, pushing him towards the dressing room.

Udon had already changed during their quite inappropriate conversation, and Moegi was currently occupying the other little dressing room.

"Stop turning me on then." He pressed, grabbing her wrist.

She let out a smile, finally, before meeting his eyes, trying to make hers more serious. "Go."

He groaned quietly, low enough that only she could hear, to embarrass her again, before complying.

She smiled after him for a moment. The swell of his shoulder muscles. How sharp his hair looked, tamed for work. Like a fresh canvas for to ruin.

"What was that?"

Hinata jumped, turning to face her little sister eye to eye. Hanabi's eyes narrowed at her, glancing to Naruto's retreating back, to her sister's almost identical eyes. Accusing.

"What was what?" Hinata tucked a piece of hair behind her ears, adverting her gaze. When had Hanabi come back? What had she heard?

Embarrassed about being caught. Flirting so opening. And her train of thought just before. So, unlike herself.

"You guys have a thing. Don't you?" Hanabi hissed.

Hinata blanched.

She didn't want to lie to her sister. Not to anyone, but least of all her sister. Her best friend. Her confidant. Her savior. Her most loved and cherished person.

She imagined, in another life, gleefully telling Hanabi every detail of her progression with Naruto.

But-

It wasn't as simple as that. Naruto was friends with Konohamaru, in a way that was not dissimilar between the two sisters. Naruto worked with him too. Naruto have a prestigious job and incredibly important job. Naruto also had a child. She couldn't just spout of his business to other people.

Especially when what was going on between them was so… foggy. Unsolidified.

They were playing at a very enjoyable back and forth, which was hard to convey to a third party.

"I don't know what you're talking abou-"

"No, no, no. Don't 'I don't know what you're talking about' to me." Hanabi hissed, though her eyes stayed merry. "You guys have a thing. And your hiding it. You're hiding a thing!"

"Hanabi," Hinata begged. She looked around again, quickly.

"How did it start?" She interrupted. "What happened. What did he say? Who came onto whom?"

Hinata looked at her perplexed, wondering at which exact part she could've lost herself in the conversation. Or if she ever had a handle on it in the first place.

"Well?" Moegi interrupted, stepping out of the dressing room.

Both sisters turned around.

The pale purple of the dress complimented her red hair beautifully, flattering her overall complexation. It was mid length, adding some sophistication to combat the spaghetti straps, and draw attention away from the cleavage and more towards the legs, as the length was almost to the knee with only minor detailing.

Hinata waited for Hanabi's reaction, and when her little sister gasped, she finally nodded in silent approval.

"Hair up or down?" Meogi asked, pulling a hair tie on her wrist.

"Ohh, can I see 'up'?" Hanabi asked.

Easily, Moegi grabbed her gorgeous red hair and began twisting it up onto her head. The bun was messy and obviously not that kind of up-do that would be done for the actual wedding, but the look was there. All neck, all collar bones, and Hinata could see a good bun would also counter the spaghetti straps and –

Hinata froze.

She was supposed to wear the same dress as Moegi. Probably even the same hair style. She almost dropped the flute that she was holding for Naruto.

"H-H-Hana-" She cleared her throat as best she could, but she could feel her hands begin to shake.

"Hm?" Hanabi looked over.

"My," The room was spinning. "My-"

"What?" Hanabi's eyebrows furrowed, perplexed at what her sister was getting at until Hinata tentatively touched her neck.

"Oh. Oh." Hanabi's eyes practically boggled out of her head for a moment. "Mo, can you put it back down?"

The redhead frowned but obliged.

"I'm so sorry Sissy, I didn't even think about that." Hanabi apologized in a whisper.

"N-no. I'm sorry. You should pick the way you want it. I'm sorry for being so difficult."

"I like it better down." She promised, firmly.

Hinata nodded, smiley softly, again, knowing that there was no way to repay how much her little sister had sacrificed and done for her. The corners of her eyes pricked, as she bit her bottom lip.

"Come on sissy, I want to see your dress." Hanabi nudged her towards the dressing room.

She complied, because then at least, if some tears fell, she could just take a tap bit longer to change into her dress.

The dress was the same as Moegi's. The shade of purple matched well with Hinata's eyes, and complimented Moegi's autumnal complexion. The style went along with Hanabi's overall theme of almost utilitarian vibes, but still trendy, but still classic enough to honor the Hyuga and Sarutobi family names.

Hinata thought that balance was an exhausting tight rope. But Hanabi had manage to maneuver it with poised ease.

A perfect heiress.

The dress fit Hinata like a glove, tailored exactly the way her previous fitting had promised. The last time had too much cleavage and she was glad that none of the boys were there to witness that embarrassment. Though, Naruto would've enjoyed it, she was sure. This was the last fitting, until the wedding. So it was perfect.

She paused before coming out.

She wasn't used to seeing herself in a full-length mirror. At least, not anymore. Not without her designer closet.

It had been more than a year.

She was thinner than she ever remembered. Even after slowly moving to a more normal diet, she still ordered salads more often than the people around her did. She still preferred water. She wasn't drinking bottles of wine every night. She wasn't lying in bed all day. She was working on her feet, long hours, or hanging out with Naruto and Shinachiku, which also felt like a workout. Not to mention all her trips to the gym.

She was healthier than she had been in probably a decade, and it showed.

Her hair was longer too. And a rich, vibrant black, instead of dull and flat. Her bangs were trimmed delicately near her eyebrows, thankfully guarding a scar near her temple. She touched it, softly, remembering the feeling of receiving it.

"Sissy?"

Hinata blinked back to the present moment, and took a deep breath.

She didn't need to go back to those places. She put makeup a thin layer of makeup on every day, just to make sure that those random nicks and cuts wouldn't show through. But she couldn't cover the ones on the back of her neck. It was impossible to reach and they were too deep, even if she could hide the color.

Because of that, she had to wear her hair long, and always down.

The last time it had been up, she had to wear a turtleneck.

But she took a deep breath. As long as her hair was down, it was covered.

And she was safe.

"Do I look alright?" Hinata asked, stepping out of the dressing room.

Hanabi and Moegi were standing together, a couple feet from the door, and they stopped flat.

"Oh my god, Hinata." Moegi gasped. "Are we sure that's the same dress?"

Hinata looked down at herself and back to Moegi's. The dresses were identical, Hanabi had opted to not do separate maid of honor dress and brides maids dress, which Hinata thought was very thoughtful of her.

"You just have different body types." Hanabi laughed.

Which was fair. Moegi was tall and thin. Hinata was not.

"Wow."

Hinata's back stiffened, as she looked over to the source of the sound.

Naruto was looking over at her from across the room the room. She could feel her face heat up, but she was mostly just confused by it. Why would he do that in front of everyone?

"You do look amazing." Hanabi grinned at her, like she had won something.

Information, perhaps? Not that Naruto seemed to be trying very hard to hide it.

"Thank you." Hinata smiled, stiffly, still feeling a little out of place in such an ensemble.

"Can we have you stand next to Udon, just so we can see how you guys pair in photos?" Hanabi asked.

Udon, like Naruto, was wearing a crisp black tuxedo, with a purple vest and tie underneath.

"I'm still debating on vests, versus a cummerbund."

All three of the men made a face at the mention of 'cummerbund'.

"We're gonna look like waiters." Naruto frowned.

"Shut up." Hanabi rolled her eyes.

Udon stepped next to Hinata, moving to put his hand around her waist. Not romantically, just to pose, and show the outfits next to each other, as they would look in the photos, on The Day.

"Watch your hands." Naruto intervened again.

Udon stopped, and almost jumped away from Hinata, the door eye looking frantically over at Naruto through his glasses. The room looked back and forth between Naruto and Hinata again. Hanabi couldn't have looked chummier if she was trying.

Hinata gave Naruto her own look, but he still seemed handsome, relaxed, unbothered by the impression he was giving off to the room.

"It's fine, Udon." Hinata finally managed, to get out.

He never seemed to be as relaxed after that, and Hanabi did decide to rule the verdict of cummerbund, much to the boy's disappointments.

"I can't believe I have to wear that for your wedding." Naruto soured.

Konohamaru, looked over nervously at his fiancé. "Well, I wasn't even in your wedding, so suck it up, buttercup."

"You were like… thirteen." Naruto defended.

"So?"

"Shut up." Hanabi flipped her hair again. "You guys are such babies."

Hanabi took some photos of Hinata with Udon, and then with Naruto and Moegi. Hinata had to admit that she would've rather been cuddled up to Naruto that someone else, but she wasn't going to fuss about it.

"Konohamaru and I have reservations at this place up the street. Do you want to come?" Hanabi asked her, after she had switched to her tank top and shorts.

"I don't want to ruin your date." Hinata declined.

"I already told Naruto you were coming." Hanabi smiled.

Hinata blushed, looking over at Naruto.

They were an interesting pair at dinner, sitting together on the same side of the table, across from her sister and future brother-in-law. Her in her lace detailed tank top and he, in an Armani suit.

She was surprised that Hanabi had them change their reservation from two to four so easily, the place was incredibly nice, and chic. Hyuga money stretched far. The place was dimly lit, with a steep menu. More than she could really afford in her current situation. But, she was just planning on ordering a salad, not that it would be cheap. Not this far up town.

"Before you got to the fitting, Hinata practically tore Moegi apart for some mini cactus." Konohamaru snorted.

"Pearled succulents." Hinata and Hanabi corrected in unison.

"Hinata? Being bossy?" Naruto smirked.

Under the table, the back of his knuckles brushed the bare skin of her thighs, right before her shorts began.

It had been hard. After she had told him that she wasn't like that. Like the girls that sleep with anyone.

Naruto had took that to heart. He had obviously felt real guilt about their first two encounters. Hinata being drunk the first time and a little reluctant the second. He had taken to their hang outs after that from a very PG perspective.

She hated it.

Because, now it was her job to change the dynamic.

She was completely out of her element.

Initiating hand holding was hard enough. Kissing? Almost impossible. Anything more than that? Forget it. Until finally, one night, after just a greeting peck and some soft hand holding while watching a movie, Hinata had to invite herself to spend the night, which Naruto still didn't seem to understand. Finally, she caved and told him that she had got birth control from the local public health clinic in her neighborhood, and Naruto took the hint pretty well after that. After, he had thought that she was asking him to pay for it. Which she thought was weird of him to assume but also really sweet. Their sex had been pretty regular after that.

At least, while Shinachiku was at his mom's house.

She swallowed at the table, hoping her blush wasn't giving them away, but, what was she kidding? The jig was clearly up. Yet here they were, still pretending. Still playing while knowing each other's cards.

"You know me." Hinata finally smiled, licking her lips. "Assertive."

The table laughed together.

She didn't know how the conversation had gravitated towards Hinata personally, but that was her least favorite conversational topic they could've chosen.

"Hinata needs a little assertiveness, if you're going to be working so late, in that area." Hanabi complained. "You walk to the bus stop so late."

"Yeah, you should be careful." Naruto frowned at her.

"It's not that big of a deal." Hinata defended.

Konohamaru smirked. "Maybe Naruto can teach you some defensive moves."

Naruto wiggled an eyebrow suggestively.

Hinata cleared her throat. "So, the wedding is coming up pretty fast."

Naruto offered her a ride home after, to his house specifically. Which she graciously accepted. "Don't forget, Shinachiku's project is coming up."

She laughed. "It's already complete."

She had done it with Shinachiku after all.

"I know, but he wants you to be there. The day his class is giving presentations, parents are invited."

Hinata shifted uncomfortably, but nodded. If Shinachiku wanted her there, she would be there. Especially if it was okay with Naruto as well.

"You know," He cleared his throat. "I can drive you to work in the morning." He tried to sound casual, when he offered it, but Hinata frowned.

"You really don't have to worry about me. I've never had a problem there." She tried to console him.

"Yeah, I'm just saying. I wouldn't mind."

She smiled. He was being really sweet, even with his misplaced concern.

"I don't have enough of my stuff at your house to get ready for work in the morning."

She was already lamenting that she was going to have to get up even earlier and go back home to get ready before heading to the warehouse. But staying with Naruto was worth it.

"Maybe you should." He said, quietly.

"What?" She asked, both from shock of his statement, and to make sure that she hadn't misheard him.

"Maybe, you should keep some stuff. At my house." He looked away from the road, to glace over at her. "if you want to." He added quickly.

She was trying to hold down her blush as she smiled, biting her lip. She reached for his closest hand, he didn't need two on the wheel, and laced their fingers together.

"I would like that."

"Yeah?" He asked again, squeezing her hand.

She nodded. "Yes."


	14. Chapter 14

Hinata had left the warehouse early, dressed in slacks and a silk button up from the boutique. She was nervous about coming to Shinachiku's school. Especially because the presentations were supposed to be for family.

What she had never wanted, was for Shinachiku to feel like she was encroaching on his family. But, he had invited her specifically. And Naruto thought it was fine.

The school reminded her of her own childhood. All schools seem to smell the same, after all. It was mostly undecorated though, this close to the end of the year. The big science fair projects must've been the last thing they were doing before summer break. Other classes projects line the hallway walls, probably having already gave their class presentation or were waiting to do so.

She had butterflies in her stomach, like this was her own class room. But she swallowed it down. Until she ran straight into Ino Yamanaka, coming into Shinachiku's class room.

"What are you doing here?" Ino asked.

Ino had not been into the warehouse that day, she had said she needed to stay home and help Inojin with a project. Hinata, with her lack of intelligence had not put two and two together, and realized that there was going to be more people here than she had thought.

Like Ino and her husband.

Shikamaru and Temari Nara, sitting in a row right next to Naruto.

Whom was waving her over.

"Shinachiku's presentation." She squeaked.

"Oh, did Naruto invite you?" Ino wiggled her eyebrow.

"I helped on the project." Hinata smiled, but she was being defensive.

"Hinata," Naruto called her name, probably thinking that she hadn't seen him yet.

"Yeah," Ino licked her bottom lip, glancing over at Naruto. "I'm sure you're helping Naruto real hard on his project."

Hinata frowned. "I'm going to go sit down now."

She could hear Ino cackling at her retreating form.

She scooted past the row of already seated parents, down to the empty seat Naruto was holding for her. "What was that?" Naruto asked, looking past her at Ino.

"Just work." Hinata promised.

Naruto wrapped his arm around Hinata's shoulder, pulling her closer to him, even though they were in separate folding chairs.

"You gotta relax, you're always working."

"Where's Shinachiku?" She asked.

"They're coming in from recess."

She said a polite 'hello' to Shikamaru and Temari over Naruto. It wasn't just for etiquette, she wanted to switch the conversation to something else. Because she was technically lying to him, not just about Ino, but about the work situation.

Karui Akamichi had been calling and emailing Hinata non-stop for the past few days. Every time

she dismissed it or ignored it, she would tell Naruto that it was for work.

She wasn't sure what was quite so urgent, but she had restored into ignoring her lawyer. She was either going to have good new in the form of hundreds of thousands of dollars being wired into her bank account, or she wasn't. That was the bottom line.

She didn't need any extra, run around, jib-jab to bring down her day any further.

"How was your day?" Hinata asked him softy.

Naruto rolled his eyes, and lifted his shoulders, trying to self-release his tension. "I've been busy all day. My secretary scheduled three meetings, all back to back this morning."

Hinata put her hand on his knee. "That's a lot."

"It was." He lamented. "Maybe you should be my secretary."

She wrinkled her nose, knowing immediately where this was going.

"Come on, you'd be a good secretary." Naruto pressed, innocently.

She looked at his with sour lips.

"It's your work ethic, babe." He pressed.

She didn't waver.

"Think of the outfits."

"Stop." She whispered, having known all along of this game.

"The alone time in the office."

"Is that what you use your office for?" She countered.

Naruto shook his head. "In this fantasy."

She blushed, looking away.

"Dad! Hinata." Shinachiku spotted them through the room, and came crashing through the rows of folding chairs for parents.

Quickly he gave his dad a hug, and to her astonishment and immense pleasure, Hinata received one as well. "Hey dad, can we go get ice cream after?"

"What? Dude, you haven't even done your presentation yet. What if you bomb it?"

"Dad," Shinachiku looked affronted. "Do you know how many times I've practiced this? Hinata, tell him."

She smiled. "He's going to do great."

"Sure, sure." Naruto scoffed. "I gotta see some results before I cash out for a double scoop."

And just as quickly as he had come, "Mom!" Shinachiku jumped up and ran towards the back of the room.

Hinata jumped. "Should I move?"

"Why?"

"I just thought, maybe…" Hinata trailed off, realizing that it was probably really weird of her to suggest that.

She was only trying to be nice.

"If she wanted a seat, she should've got here earlier." Naruto shrugged his shoulders and wrapped his arm, pulling her closer to him.

Sakura was dressed in leggings and a quarter zip fleece, her short hair pulled back into a small bun. She looked exhausted, like she had just woken up for work, or just got off. Most of the parents had already arrived, and the late ones were alright lining the back of the class room.

Naruto gave one, short wave of greeting, and Sakura nodded, acknowledging his presents, her eyes following his arm around her.

There was a pause, in the look that she gave Hinata, after following the arm down, around her body, that made Hinata feel like a brick of guilt had just sunk into her stomach.

Who was she, to be sitting with the man the used to be her husband? Hugging her son. Her own name on his science project board, written under acknowledgments.

She felt… disgusting.

Shinachiku's teacher came out and was enough distraction, to keep her from her thoughts. She waited patiently, seated in the classroom, and watched the children as they did their presentations. Most of them did well.

Though Shinachiku did the best.

Was she already so biased?

He really did well in her opinion. He stood off to the side of his presentation board, which was clearly and nicely decorate exactly like the example had been. He had memorized his variables, as the rubric had indicated. He held his note cards near his chest and not his mouth. He talked clear and concisely, and didn't stumble too often on his words.

"My future goals, after this project, are to see which carrots grow the fastest and taste the best. I'm hoping to do that for next year's project. I'd like to thank my parents and my friend Hinata for helping me with my project. Thank you." He finished, giving a toothy grin and the end.

He looked over and nodded at his teacher before going to sit down.

"You did a good job." Naruto nudged her arm.

"Me?" She whispered. "He did it."

He dipped his head against her, dragging his nose into her hair, in a completely too intimate act for an elementary school classroom. "I know you wrote it for him."

She blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

As soon as the class was done, Naruto jumped up and made a b-line towards Shinachiku, pretending to punch him in the stomach a couple times before pulling him into a hug. Hinata smiled as she watched them, Naruto shook Shinachiku's shoulders a couple times, showering the little boy with muffled praises that she couldn't make out from across the room.

"I wish he wasn't so rambunctious."

Hinata jumped in her seat.

Sakura Haruno stood next to her folding chair, arms crossed, watching her ex-husband and her son with a blank look on her face. Hinata swallowed, nervously, before standing. To put them at equal footing? She still stood almost five inches shorter than the other woman.

She saw Sakura a lot. Mostly in passing. At her own house. She had now been Shinachiku's baby sitter for weeks. Months almost.

But to be here, at her son's school, with her former husband's arm around her-

It didn't feel like her old friend anymore.

She felt like Naruto's ex-wife.

And she didn't particularly like Sakura's sentiment of Naruto's behavior. Sure, he was being a little disruptive. But everyone was milling around and talking now. He didn't need to be quiet. He was just being, his self, authentically. Shinachiku was smiling almost as big as Naruto.

What was wrong with that?

"You did a good job, with the project." Sakura finally mentioned again. And again, her voice was flat, like Hinata couldn't figure out what was going on inside of her head.

It couldn't be that she was just an exhausted, over worked, single parent.

"Thank you." Hinata said quietly. "He did most of the work."

"What's going on with you and Naruto?"

Hinata almost dropped her purse.

"Because, you don't have a very good track record of sticking around here." Sakura bulldozed straight through, still with a blank face.

Sticking around?

Hinata remembered, just before the end of the year, just before graduation.

A sleep over, at Ino's house.

A lifetime ago, but she could remember with distinct clarity and heartache.

It was after Naruto and Sakura had started dating. After Hinata had made her last-ditch attempt at pathetically baring her heart to him, and having it fall flat on the ground.

It was painful to listen to Sakura complain about Naruto. 'He's too busy. He's always doing something. He's so stupid. He's so dumb. I just want to hit him.' Sakura had never understood Naruto, not the way she should've. Never appreciated him, for the person that he was. She couldn't have really loved him. For him. For his soul

Not the way Hinata did.

She remembered, finally the pointed look that Ino shot Sakura when she was complaining about their romantic life. The look, that then both girls quickly shot Hinata, as if remembering, "Holy shit I forgot Hinata's in love with him."

She had forced herself to throw up in the toilet and go home early.

Sticking around?

What part of that would she want to stick around for?

It was different this time.

He liked her.

…and even if he didn't. Hinata was closer with her friends now. With her family. She had a business. She had a purpose that wasn't just Naruto Namikaze.

And Shinachiku was part of that purpose.

She would never abandon Shinachiku.

"Shinachiku told me, how hard the divorce was for him. He tells me a lot of things." Hinata finally spoked, quiet, and looking down at the ground. "Nothing between Naruto and I will affect me babysitting your son." She paused. "As long as it's okay with you." The last part tasted a little bitter in her mouth.

"I don't need you to throw my marriage in my face." Sakura finally snapped, her old temper rearing it's head.

"I wasn't." Hinata protested quickly. "I was just trying to say that I understand him. That I wouldn't hurt him anymore than-"

"He's my son." Sakura hissed.

"I know." Hinata leaned back.

Sakura's eyes glared for a moment before relaxing. "Sorry, I've been really stressed at work."

It was a stupid apology, but Hinata nodded her head.

The atmosphere was stiff and awkward after that.

"Hey, ready for ice cream." Naruto made his way back to the two women, with Shinachiku in a mock head lock. "This little sucker right here thinks he deserves a triple scoop."

"Mom, are you gonna come too?" Shinachiku asked, looking up at his mother sideways, arms around his dads.

Sakura looked to Naruto expectantly.

"What? You can come." Naruto shrugged.

"Gee thanks." She rolled her eyes at him but smiled at her son. "I'd love to."

Naruto looked at Hinata, and she smiled. On the outside.

If getting used to spending time with Naruto took time, she thought that Naruto and Sakura would take an eternity.

It quickly became apparent why they divorced.

Everything seemed to be a hot button issue. Shinachiku's DS usage. How long he watches TV. His bedtime. His homework. How much ice cream he could have.

"I think one scoop is enough." Sakura frowned.

The ice cream shop was small, with black and white checkered floors, two dozen ice cream in big buckets, with almost fifity different topping combinations.

"He just destroyed that presentation. I told him he could have two scoops." Naruto argued.

"He doesn't need that much sugar. See – this is the problem. You let him eat like-"

"I don't let him eat like that all the time." Naruto frowned, "He worked really hard. He deserves it."

"We haven't even got to see his grade yet."

"Who cares about his grade! You just watched him do it."

Shinachiku frowned, and got out of line, going to sit down at the closest table. Hinata frowned, feeling back that he had just given up on getting the ice cream.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Shinachiku shrugged his shoulder's pretending that it was nothing.

"What ice cream do you want?" Hinata asked.

He looked up at her, shocked.

She tilted her head back into the line. He smiled and jumped up, heading back to his parents. This time, Shina and Hinata squeezed in front of them. Naruto and Sakura were still preoccupied with nitpicking each other, that they didn't even notice Hinata order.

"I want two scoops of cookie dough in a sugar cone," Shinachiku pointed. "With oreos."

Hinata nodded.

"What are you gonna get?" He asked her.

"I think I'm going to get one scoop of green tea ice cream, in a cup."

Shinachiku wrinkled his nose but shrugged his shoulders. She ordered the ice cream and paid.

"Hey, did you just buy it?" Naruto asked, her suddenly.

She jumped and nodded, waiting for him to get mad. She had her excuses right on the tip of her tongue before he frowned. "I was going to get it for you."

"Sorry." She whispered.

Naruto ordered after her, separate from Sakura. They all sat down together, Shinachiku being used as a buffer between the two parents.

"So have you figured out what you're going to do about Shinachiku over the summer." Sakura asked.

"I'm working it out." Naruto promised.

"Well, he's almost done with the year."

"I know."

"Well, you're cutting it a little close."

"Don't worry about it. I have it under control."

"What about Mother's Day. It's technically your week, so I wanted to ask about it."

Hinata's phone rang, offering a nice distraction from the bickering couple in front of her. She had been ignoring her lawyers calls for days. Also leaving the emails unopened. But, she would do anything to get up from the table.

"Excuse me." She spoke quickly, lifting the phone to show her excuse.

She walked towards the door, away from the table, unsure of what kind of information would emanate from the cell conversation.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Hyuga, I've been trying to get a hold of you for days." Karui started.

"I'm so sorry, I've been really busy with-"

"Mrs. Hyuga, your case has been dismissed."

Hinata froze. Absentmindedly, she could hear cup of ice cream hit the ground.

"What?" She whispered.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know how this could've happened."

"What does this mean?" Hinata asked, her voice shaking.

"You're granted your divorce, and the severance that you asked for. But Mr. Otsutsuki is being released from prison. Your restraining orders have been dismissed. I can open the case file again, if that's how you want to proceed. I can have another meeting with a judge in Konoha. With the old photographic evidence from the case, I think that it would be easy to get one at least here."

Hinata had heard that before. Heard that is should happen. That it would be easy.

He had hurt her.

Now nothing was going to happen to him.

He was free.

It was her fault.

"Hinata-" Naruto put his hand on her back. "Are you okay?"

Hinata hung up her phone quickly. "Um, no. I have to go."

"Hey, hey." He grabbed her arm before she could turn. "About Sakura. I'm sorry if I made you upset-"

"You didn't." She yanked her arm back with more force then necessary. "But I really have to go. It's an emergency."

"Okay, okay, sorry." He kissed her head before leaving. "I'll call you later."

Hinata walked out quickly, clutching her shaking hands into fists.

As soon as she was out of sight the ice cream shop, she could feel her body shake. Like all of her was coming undone. She couldn't just sit down and cry in the middle of the street. Instead, she did the worst thing that she could ever do. As soon as she saw it, she entered the closest liquor store that she could find.

Some habits were easier to break than others.


	15. Chapter 15

Hinata woke up the next morning, laying in a pile of throw up.

That's how she knew she had really fucked up.

One whole bottle of vodka later, and a fuzzy night spent alone in her bedroom crying, and she knew that she had royally fucked up.

Would she ever stop fucking up?

Would she drag herself to another miserable AA meeting?

The only place she was dragging herself to was the shower.

The tiles were still disgusting, and though she usually wore flip flops to protect herself, she sat her bare ass on the floor, under the hot water, for over an hour and a half before it went lukewarm and then cold.

She found a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt, thick socks. She wrapped her wet hair into a towel and laid in bed.

She took a long, deep breath before grabbing her phone.

One by one, she went through the emails of Karui Akamichi. Detailing all the ways that their case went wrong. Every single one of the people that had testified as witnesses of the years had recanted their statements, and so did she, so ultimately, even with her horrific photographic evidence, and a doctor stating Toneri's state of mind, the case was thrown out, and he was release.

She tried to think on the positive side. The money that was now in her bank account. That she was now divorced. Free from him. Truly Hinata Hyuga, untethered.

But she had never felt more weighed down.

Toneri Otsutsuki was release from prison, all charges dropped. He was a country away, but that did not make her feel any better. He was a billionaire, CEO that got the court system of Kumogakure to dismiss a case of years of documented assault, battery and attempted murder.

If he wanted to destroy her, then he was going to.

There was nothing that Hinata could do about that.

Karui wanted to try again. In Konoha. But…

Hinata was more content to try and forget about it. She took another deep breath, feeling her hangover pound away.

She needed to do what she always did. Finally, she got up and got dressed.

"You need to take a break."

Even though Hinata had a complete mental breakdown and broke her sobriety by drinking an entire bottle of peach Smirrinoff until she blacked out on her disgusting floor, then followed by hours of crying, reading old court, she thought she was doing rather well, now.

She had picked herself up off of the devil's floor and did what she did best.

Working.

She had paid off her debt to Naruto, and her father. Paid for a new cellphone. Got a new computer for the company. She had even stayed all night one night and rearrange the warehouse.

"You're more stressed now that you're debt free and the boutique is in the clear than you were before." Naruto mused one night as Hinata was pouring over spreadsheets.

"I'm not stressed."

"Hinata," Naruto frowned.

They were in Naruto's bed. It was late, and she was still up on her new computer. Pouring over spreadsheets, invoices, shipping dates and time stamps.

"I just…" I don't want to think. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. I'm just terrified. "I messed up. With the coats. I can't afford to do that again, now."

She recanted her statement, to pay for the coats. But it had cost her so much more than bankrupcy.

Naruto rubbed a hand down her back softly. "You need to relax. You've had dozens of more victories than you have that one mess up. And you fixed it. You don't need to worry so much."

'You don't need to worry so much.' She can practically feel Toneri's fingers wrap around her throat. She swallows.

"I do need to relax." She finally placated him. "I'm just having a hard time sleeping."

She shut her laptop, and placed on her nightstand on her side of the bed, bathing the room in darkness. Yes, her side of the bed. Her nightstand. Full of her things. A drawer in the bathroom, with her things. A part of his closet with her things.

She was still only staying the night on days with Naruto did not have Shinachiku. Coming over after watching Shinachiku at Sakura's house. She had an odd and awkward realization that she was seeing Shinachiku more often than either Naruto or Sakura.

Especially when Naruto asked Hinata to nanny Shinachiku for him, on his weeks during the summer. The conversation got more heated when he offered to pay her. Which she adamantly refused.

"Sakura pays you." He had argued. "Why not at least let me match that?"

"It's different, Sakura and I aren't…"

"Together?" He had asked.

"Yes."

She was thankful for the distraction, of seeing Shinachiku every day. Either at Naruto's house or at Sakura's. He filled the time, the silence perfectly. A welcome and loved distraction to her own thoughts.

It also meant that she was at Naruto's house, every single day. Either watching Shinachiku all day, and then returning to her own apartment to sleep, or watching him in Sakura's apartment and going back to Naruto's to sleep. Even though it had been a couple weeks since summer had started, a part of her wondered if she and Naruto were moving too fast.

She had gone to fast previously in life.

A colossal mistake.

Of course, Naruto was different. She had known him her whole life.

Still…

She didn't care about that right now though.

Now it was dark, and they were alone. And she wanted to forget all of her thoughts.

It was just the two of them after all.

She straddled his waist, leaning down to capture him in a kiss. She was almost glad now, of their funny miscommunication, about her not wanting to have sex. The situation had forced her into being a little more assertive in what she wanted. Taking matters into her own hands. That fact had made it a little easier for her needs to go under the radar. He didn't think it was odd when she was acting out now.

Was she acting out?

Or did she just genuinely want him, as a man?

Sex with his was amazing. Like nothing she had ever experienced with someone else.

He put his hands on her hips, resting her on top of him and eagerly engaging her kisses. His hands gripped her hips, rocking her against him, making her moan. It got heavy pretty quick between them. His hands pushed her sleeping shirt up, filling his hands with her breasts. She moaned again, finally rolling off him.

She pulled her own shirt off.

"Going to slow for you?" He teased.

She ignored him. The blushing, she could hide in the dark. Her stutter, not so much.

He shifted, pulling his own pajamas off. That was her favorite. His body against her. Once she had rid herself of the clothing, she rolled back for another kiss.

"Any particular position?" Naruto asked.

She wrinkled her nose, embarrassed. "Dealers choice."

"Did you just say doggy?"

"No, I said-"

"Doggy it is." Naruto laughed, grabbing Hinata's hips and pushed her over onto her stomach.

She smiled at his silly little game but she complied, readying herself.

"Do you know that I think you're beautiful?" Naruto asked, rubbing his hands up the outside of her thighs, before pulling her back, closer to him by the hips.

"Yes." She whispered, quietly.

"Are you sure?"

"You tell me enough." She promised.

"I could never tell you enough." He leaned down, kissing the back of her shoulder.

Her fingers tightened in the blankets, waiting for him. Not that she had to wait long. She gasped, feeling him inside of her. This positon was a little deeper, a little more intense, also a little impersonal. Not that Naruto would ever let it be. His hands were soft and gentle and moved on her body in delicate care. He was also incredibly vocal about her. Whether it was about how tight she was or how pretty she was or just groaning and trying not to say 'fuck' over and over again.

"Hinata," He huffed behind her.

She was on the quieter side of things, as per their usual parallel. She had her eyes scrunched tight, fisting the sheets, teeth clenched, trying not to cry out as hard as humanly possible.

"Fuck, Hinata." He wrapped an arm around her, hauling her up until she was flush against his chest, still thrusting inside her. His other hand came around and pulled her jaw towards him, kissing her hard, the cliché feeling of 'bruising of the lips' but even for Naruto, it was more intense. Not that she was complaining.

She sounded like a wounded kitten, begging for help. But what she really wanted was him. All of him.

"I'm in love with you."

"Huh?" Hinata gasped, her eyes fluttering, trying to find light into the room, to see if he was being serious. Perhaps just a moment of passion?

Naruto pushed her hips away from him for a moment, gently pushing her back on to the bed. This time sunny side up. He crawled back on top of her in missionary, on hand on her leg, the other arm wrapped around her waist, a hand snaking up her back, holding her up towards him, kissing her sloppily.

"Hinata, I love you." He pulled back again, to say it.

She gasped, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes.

"You love me?" She asked, quietly.

"Yes." He promised.

She kissed him again, cradling his face close to her, so she could kiss him softly, unimpeded.

This is not what she had been expecting, coming to his house tonight. She hadn't suspected anything close to this. She thought that night would be the same as the other ones.

But… he loved her.

He finished, but she doesn't. She can't. Her throats closed. She tried to swallow, to get the lump to go down, to breath the hot air of the room. He goes to snuggle her, like always, but she sits up and pulls away.

"Hinata?"

She pushed the mess of blankets away from her and scoots to the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?"

She covers her hand, over her mouth, to keep her crying silent, but…

"Baby, are you crying?"

Naruto wrapped his arms around her shoulder and hauled her back against him. She sniffed, and then coughed into a full sob, shaking her whole body. Naruto shifted her until he was holding her like a baby, or a fireman, or a new bride.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey," He held her close against him. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm sorry." She covered her face. "I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. Hinata, it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize that I loved you sooner. It's okay, don't feel any pressure to say it back-"

"What?" Hinata gasped.

"I'm just saying, I didn't tell you just to hear it back. I told you because I wanted you to know."

"You don't think I love you?" She asked, his aghast. "Naruto!"

"What? I'm trying to make you feel better." Naruto defended.

"Naruto," She sobbed even harder.

The poor man had no clue what to do but just hold her tighter, crushing her into his chest.

"H-how could you th-think that I don't love you." She finally managed to get out of her tears.

Naruto brushed her bangs away from her forehead, and his fingers trail down some of the strands onto her shoulder, brushing her arm warmly. "You love me too?"

"Yes!" She sobbed.

Naruto laughed, kissing her forehead. "Then why are you crying."

Hinata grabbed onto his shoulder, leaning her cheek onto it, wondering if she should actually tell him the truth. "I," Her breath caught in her throat, making her chest heave. "I never thought, you would tell me that."

Naruto stiffened against her. His fingers dug into her flesh for a moment, reflexively. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's not." He pressed.

It was quite after that. He held her close, against his chest, drawing little shapes arounds her naked arm, down onto her ribs and her back, kissing the top of her head every now and then.

"I'm sorry." She brushed her eyes after she had finally stopped crying. "I kind of ruined it."

"Ruined what? I just wanted you to know that I loved you. And now you do." He shrugged. "Plus were cuddling."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not thinking I'm a psycho." Hinata laughed.

"I could never." Naruto kissed her temple.

She shifted so that they could lay down better, Naruto's head on a pillow and hers on his bicep. Hinata couldn't sleep after that though. She felt like her whole body had been electrocuted, and she was still buzzing from the jolt.

Naruto said he loved her.

How long had she been holding that candle? Long enough for it to burn out. But it didn't. She loved him. And he loved her.

Too bad he didn't really know her.

Because she knew he wouldn't love her then.


End file.
